Martians and Stalkers

I have had a really good time with Katie and Sam.  Katie and I can finish each other’s sentences and think the same about a lot of things, but I realize that we are in a lot of ways we are exact opposites.  For example, I freeze in 65 degree weather and she wears flip-flops when it’s 45.  I drove to the gym this morning and almost cried getting out of the car because the wind was so cold, but she ran from my house to the gym and said that it was “so nice”.  I’ve always said that she’s the girl you want with you if you find yourself in a bar fight, but I am of no help if someone starts swinging on my friend.  (At least not physically, I don’t think I’m a threat.)  I’m extremely girly, she doesn’t enjoy frivolous primping.  She’s probably considered low-maintenance and I’m the worst kind—I’m high-maintenance and think I’m low-maintenance.  She can drink a bottle of wine, I throw up after a few sips.  This hasn’t always been the case, but this morning we were remembering the time that we cracked up a bottle of red wine and I threw up profusely after half a glass.  The worst part about that incident is that we were drinking on the roof of a building, so there was no way to clean it up except for bringing up buckets of water.  That was not fun, well for her anyway.  I was still sick.  We suspect that I am allergic, but it doesn’t happen every time so there’s way of knowing for sure. 

I think that the main reason we find there to be differences is that we grew up in different places geographically.  I lived in Milwaukee, but not long enough to feel like I am from there.  Actually, maybe it isn’t just geography because even when I lived there I found us to be different in a lot of ways.  She would play kickball with the boys while I would curl into a ball in the corner of the playground trying to protect myself from the cold wind, shaking and whining the whole time.  I used to beg my teachers not to make me play outside.   I hate cold weather.  It seems so unnecessary. 

Another way that we differ is that I don’t recycle.  I should more, but I don’t.  I do sometimes, but not enough.  When we were at school yesterday checking Lindsey out Katie asked to throw her empty Diet Coke can into the recycling bin.  The lady in the office said that they didn’t recycle.  Katie was irate.  She was like “We recycled in the 90’s!  How do you guys not recycle?”  I made a joke and said “Well, you know, us ignorant southerners, we just don’t know about that recycling nonsense.”  I was in the school office this morning checking Logan out (have to make things fair) and the lady in the office asked if she was my sister or sister-in-law and I told her no, I have been friends with her since 4^th grade.  She said “She was really upset that we don’t recycle, wasn’t she?”  I told Katie that she said that once I got back to the car; Katie said “Glad to see I made an impression!”  She wants to write a letter to the school complaining about how this is her planet too!  At times she’s a Martian to me, and I am one to her, but we still speak the same language, so it’s a cool friendship. 

Has anyone seen that the founder of Facebook is being stalked…..by a man?  Dude, that would really suck.  If I’m stalked, I hope it’s by a guy, not a chick.  That’s just gross.  I think I’d rather a guy being psychotic about me than a girl.  I don’t know the details of the Facebook stalker, maybe it isn’t sexual, but it’s still weird.  I’m sure he’s thinking “Why couldn’t some insane hot blonde chick stalk me instead?” 

I remember this guy that was following me around when I worked at the bank.  He was so strange.  He would show up at the most random places, the most random being my mom’s bush.  I was getting into my car and talking to my neighbor, who was luckily a big guy, and the stalker just popped out from behind the bush and said “Hey, Brittany!”  I was pretty sure at that moment that all of the other sightings weren’t random.  The bank told him to leave me alone and that if he was going to be a customer that he couldn’t wait in line for me anymore—but at least it was a guy.  I would have barfed like I drank red wine if it had been a girl.  I’ve learned that being nice to people, especially the chemically imbalanced, isn’t always a good thing. 

Here’s the word of the day:

philomath \FIL-uh-math\, noun:

A lover of learning; a scholar.