Vote for Jen Wade

Take a second and vote for Jen Wade!

Jen ate healthy and worked out for years before she realized that a lot of the "healthy" foods she was eating weren't what they were cracked up to be.  She educated herself, got serious, and transformed her body with dedication.  I like to think of Jen as our local Food Babe because she has a grasp on the market as a whole but she also helps you personally figure out what you need more of in your diet and what you should stay away from.  I have a lot of sensitivities to food and I have spoken with her  about things that could be tweaked in my diet and she is just flat-out awesome.

Help a girl out and click below!  It only takes a second....

http://www.bodydesignpersonaltraining.com/photos/Atlanta-s-20-Sexiest-Most-Fit-Bodies-2015/Jen-Wade

Still don't eat pizza, still need to delete Tinder

Pizza boy changed his pictures and we matched again.  

And here is what he had to say....

What I learned from 24 Hours on Tinder

So I don't know how I can write about dating and love and not see what's up with Tinder. Everyone talks about it. I've seen it. I've swiped the wrong way for my friends because I think it's funny...how can I not check it out myself and write about it?

Well I did.

My first message was from a man who said "Hello, pretty lady. This weekend. Pizza, beer and f******." I replied "Sorry, I don't like pizza" and unmatched him. 

Within 24 hours, I had 48 matches. Two thoughts on this: I thought I was more shallow than that and if it's that easy, then why don't I meet people when I'm out?  Can you imagine how terrifying it would be if Tinder was real life? Imagine 48 men all surrounding you at a barstool,  all talking over each other and trying to get your attention. I would start screaming and covering my ears if that happened.  How I feel when I'm Tindering is how a mother bird must feel feeding a nest full of needy, hungry baby birds, except instead of hungry baby birds, it's horny grown men who may or may not be lying to you. 

Then you have to keep your matches straight. Tinder is like that old 80's game, Girl Talk. The game came with playing cards with the boys' faces on them with their interests. "Brad, likes football, hates sushi and wants to take you to a movie...." You get it. On Tinder it's the same, except that you have to remember more than "Mike from Buckhead, the one in the red shirt holding a beer." You have actually had conversations with them because they're real people, so you have to actually think. I have to scroll back up to remember if this one said he's from California and hates sushi, or is that Matt from Nebraska originally and loves playing golf? What's even funnier is that one of my friends is on Tinder and sends me screenshots and I say "I yeah! I saw that guy!" And it does actually resemble Girl Talk. 

I put a tag on my profile that says "I do not prefer men who send dick pics entirely too early...." The guys who are into bathroom selfies and taking photos of just their body parts don't understand that, they probably don't laugh, and therefore they must swipe left on me a lot. This is ok because I am not the kind of girl who would swipe right for a muscular stump with no head anyway. 

Facebook pulled from my pictures and I was pleased to see that I look like a spider monkey who likes to dangle from silk ribbons and wear costumes instead of clothes. I've had to explain that I'm not a circus entertainer or actress. I also learned that I look like a giant in pictures, unless I'm standing next to a person. 8 out of 10 guys have asked "So how tall are you?" I have made them guess and they are shocked that I am not 5'10, but only 5'3. Don't know what that's about. Must be the costumes. 

You will see people you know. I know this because my friend, Adam, saw me and sent me a screenshot of my profile. Two minutes later, I saw him and swiped right just to message him over Tinder and call him a mean name. He proposed marriage to me, I declined and then I went to bed. The next day, he said his friend at work showed him my profile and said "Look at this girl! She's my match, she's pretty hot right?" Adam laughed and sent me a text about it. I didn't remember his friend, so I logged in to check. Turns out that while I was drinking last night, I started swiping at random because I'm a dumbass and thought it was funny. I had to clean up my mess this morning. 

Sorry. 

Tinder is an interesting experience, even if just for a day. It's what you make of it too. If someone uses it as a hook-up app, they can. If they want to genuinely meet someone cool, I think they can. 

As for me, I have ADD and I can't handle my phone blowing up and shouting Squirrel!!!!!! every two seconds. I will be deleting it. 

Resolution

I was writing instead of being at church yesterday. Someone read my blog and said jokingly "Did you have a meeting with Andy Stanley yesterday?" She said it's spooky how close my blog was to what Watermarke's message was yesterday....and I had no idea. Andy Stanley talks about self-preservation and says you'll be alone in a raft (or something, I don't know because I'm about to watch it) if you only look out for yourself....

Here's the link if you want to watch the message....

Ok, after watching it, I realized the one that relates to my blog isn't up.  This series is called Resolution.  It's really good. 

http://watermarkechurch.com/messages/resolution/the-better-question/

Blind Trust Is Selflessness

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."-1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I have written about the children’s book “The Giving Tree” before because I have often thought about selfishness and selflessness and what makes us generally one or the other.  I think of this book from time to time when I encounter givers and takers because it is a clear distinction of how so many people are and how many relationships are in real life.  If you haven’t read the book, it’s about a boy and a tree.  The boy loves to climb the tree’s branches and the tree is happy.  As the boy grows older, he wants other things and takes from the tree until the tree is nothing but a stump in the ground. Even at the end of the book, the stump says “I have nothing left to give you, I am just a stump” and the boy, who is now an elderly man, says “I need somewhere to sit.” And the tree is happy to give him a seat because that is who the tree is. 

What makes some of us little boys and some of us trees?  Why are some people consistently selfish while others consistently put the needs of others before their own?  I have been thinking about this a lot lately.  Is selfishness learned or inherited?  Is it both?  What are the characteristics of a selfish person versus a selfless person and what is their mindset like in comparison?  Certainly we all know what’s right—we are all supposed to put one another’s needs first, but what is it exactly that holds some people back while others give everything they have without a thought of themselves?  Why is it so hard for givers and takers to assume the other position?

I wrote about trust last week and it dawned on me that selfishness is directly tied to trust.  Period. A selfish person can be a very good person at heart, or may want to be a good person, but he or she is ultimately fighting off everyone they can in order to preserve themselves in whatever way.  Why?  They don’t trust. Selfish people have to preserve their hearts, their money, their desires, etc., because they don’t trust anyone else to give it to them in return and they worry that they won’t be okay in the end.  Whether they don’t trust in God, the will of others, or that what they give will not be given back to them in return; there is always some kind of worry there deep down.  People who live for themselves are the most unhappy, so why would someone choose to be this way?  Anxiety and lack of trust, that’s why. 

Selfless people are exactly the opposite.  They seem to grasp the fact that they are part of a bigger picture and that their actions impact others and therefore, they are cautious about how they make people feel and contemplate the moves they make.  People who generally live for others do it because they believe that we are all connected and that the purpose of being here in the first place is FOR other people.  Selfless people typically believe in a higher power, whatever that may be and when you trust that your needs will be met, you are comfortable giving in whatever way is needed at any given time, whether it is money or commitment or love or the shirt off their backs. 

Selfish people take.  They hoard.  They don’t respect other people and they look out for themselves and their own needs and desires.  Selfish people don’t seem to understand that their actions impact other people because they only think of themselves.  This is actually very sad because while they look like they “just care about number one”, in reality, they tend to feel very alone.  They can’t see themselves connected to the rest of the world, and therefore, why would they matter?  Why would their actions matter on a daily basis?

Being selfish is a decision.  Being selfless is a decision.  If you believe and trust in the fact that we are all special and important and that our decisions and actions are all supposed to reflect one thing and one thing only, you cannot be selfish—that one thing is this: loving others.  By not giving to others when they have given selflessly to you, you in turn become the stump.  

Being selfless is a good thing but none of us want to be the tree who gives and gives and gives until all we are is an exhausted stump because then we are no good to anyone.  Loving someone unconditionally is a beautiful thing, but God wants us to be loved unconditionally as well because we are his children and we deserve to be loved the way we love. The tree remains happy just to have the boy when in reality the tree deserves more in return.  When you are selfless and you don’t use any discretion with your heart, which you have to learn to do, your soul can become sad.  You can feel like you are not enough, that all you have to give is not enough, and it is a hard road learning that it isn’t you, but it is the taker who has the problem.  When you are consistent in loving and giving to someone else, you should require the same for yourself.  Someone who has the ability and makes the choice to love selflessly deserves the very best. 

The little boy is constantly taking what he can from the tree in order to feel content, yet he never finds what it is that he is searching for.  He is filled with discontentment and was given everything all along.   If the boy would have given back to the tree, perhaps he wouldn’t have been searching for so long and been sitting on a stump.  

What selfish people need to realize is this:

• ·      They are important. 
• ·      Their worth is not measurable. 
• ·      Their actions have an impact on others on a daily basis and throughout a lifetime. 
• ·      The imprint we leave when we die is made up of a thousand actions that have the ability to create or sabotage.
• ·      Self-sacrifice is what we are called to do.
• ·      We are part of a bigger picture than just a self-portrait.
• ·      You are happy and content when you put others before yourself. 
• ·      Trust and love leave no room for self-preservation because that isn’t a concern anymore once someone else matters.

Blind Trust

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to no one-William Shakespeare

Recently, a boyfriend of someone I know went through her phone.  I don’t want to give any more details than that.  My first response was this…. I ignored everything she said and replied, “Why was he digging through your phone?”  She seemed a little surprised that this was my only reaction.   Am I the only person who thinks that it is odd to believe you can go digging in someone’s phone and check up on an adult as if he or she is a sneaky teenager or an inmate at a jail?  People say “Well, but if you suspect something,” ok, but so what; that gives you free reign to go digging?  Then you have different issues to be facing.  Face those rather than tainting your possibly innocent relationship.  What if you are wrong and the person is innocent?  You have then tainted the relationship.  If I found myself doing this, I would break my own heart before finding a betrayal because I would realize I didn’t have trust for the person, and at that point, there really isn’t a relationship and I may as well end it regardless of whether the person was cheating or lying or not. 

Cheaters and liars get caught and you have to decide to either leave them and move on or forgive them and move on, but assuming everyone cheats and lies is ridiculous because there are honest people out there.  I also believe that everyone deserves privacy and that you have a right to your own space.  Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you should turn into the NSA and if you have never proven to be dishonest, you shouldn’t put up with the NSA either.

I will admit that I am a dreamer and an idealist and I realize that the world doesn’t work the way I see fit most of the time, but that doesn’t change the fact that I believe what I believe and that I am pretty incapable of changing, no matter how many times I have been hurt.  I hesitated writing this because I thought it was probably a stupid idea, like I would become a target or get taken advantage of, but there have to be other people who think the way that I do and so I continued to write.  If someone lies to me because they know they can, well then, I guess it is what it is.  It won’t be the first time.  But I do wonder how someone can look into a pair of innocent eyes dead on and lie, knowing the set of eyes is looking at that person without hesitation.  A person who will be honest and love you and believe you is sacred in this world and this brings me to my point….I would rather be alone than to be in a relationship that doesn’t have this kind of trust in it and I will continue to be me, even if it means I am alone. 

Corinthians says that love trusts and protects; it rejoices in the truth.  How do you have a relationship without trust?  What is a relationship without trust?  You don’t have to ask someone twice when you trust the person.  You just know and accept it the first time.  THAT is trust.  I always think it’s kind of funny when people think you’re stupid for trusting, as if you’re not supposed to “trust” people “blindly” or as if trust exists without being blind—it doesn’t. Trust IS blind.  The definition of trust is “a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.”  When you believe in something, you don’t go digging around for inconsistencies because you don’t believe that inconsistencies exist.  If you do go digging around, you don’t trust blindly.  You don’t trust at all.  Your relationship should be much like a treaty instead of The Patriot Act.  The Patriot Act protects us from harm; it gives us immediate relief that maybe nothing bad is going to happen, but then it also gives power to support whatever claims it wants.  Well, what happens when that is power abused and the person is innocent?    And why is it that a non-trusting person always seems to find something to support his or her claim, regardless of whether or not they did?  Pandora’s box. That’s why.  A person who has trust issues and believes that someone will always lie to them will always find something to support that.

Trust is precious and when it is broken, it takes a lot to fix it; I am not sure it can be fully restored.  Hopefully I am wrong, but this is why you don’t lie and accuse, even about the little things.  

Personally, I will take a punishment if I deserve it, but if I tell you the truth and I am innocent, if you ask me twice, I become very angry.  I have been single for a while and I may stay single thinking the way I think—I don’t care.  I will always be honest in whatever relationship I wind up in, even if the truth sucks.  I will always answer a question honestly….ONCE.  If I am asked twice, I will walk away without hesitation.  I can’t trust someone who can’t trust me. 

Do I sound stupid and naïve?  Probably.  But at least I am honest and won’t go through your phone…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PT9PPfSkwQ

The Real Reason for Fitness

It’s no secret that a healthy lifestyle is what we should all go for, but there is still a disconnect even in 2015.  I have a couple of reasons for writing this today: First of all, to remind the seasoned gym-goers to be kind to the new people and secondly, to tell the newbies why they should really be working out.  In other words, you shouldn’t be working out because it’s January and you want to look good in a bathing suit.   Your reasons should go deeper than that, but if you want to roll your eyes, I understand, as long as you just keep reading….

Why seasoned gym-goers are really irritated with new people…..

I will be honest.  I have been irritated in years past by the swarm of people who decide on January 1^st to work out.  The reason it irritated me is that I knew 95% of them wouldn’t be around in February and they were just congesting the gym and impacting my life.  Well, contrary to popular belief, we (human beings, myself included) are not allowed to be assholes and we need to remember to inspire people, not isolate and intimidate them just because they are annoying us.   People who are new to the gym are searching for what we have already found and what we already know about.  Let them.  Encourage them.  The other reason I used to get irritated is because I wanted people to understand what I do….taking care of your body and working out isn’t a fad, it isn’t about what you look like naked,  it isn’t something to forget about next week— it is a way of life.  Taking care of myself is a religion and when I do something bad to my body, trust me, I am repenting and quite literally paying for it.  I am no longer physically capable of eating crap or I get sick.  I am so in tune with my body that I can feel the slightest abuse. 

To everyone who acts like an ass to someone else in the gym, remember that the world would be a much better place if everyone were experiencing endorphins.  Welcome them.  The guy who just cuts you off on the road and gives you the finger maybe wouldn’t do it if he were 50 pounds lighter. 

To the newbies, put your weights back when you're finished with them, don’t socialize, don’t crowd people, and be mindful and learn gym etiquette.  If you need help, ask someone. Get a plan or a trainer if you don’t know what you are doing and most importantly, remember not to pay attention to the arrogant pricks snarling at you. You have a right to change your life. 

My philosophy, what I do:

When I say this, please take it the right way because as a girl, I don’t like to talk about my body in fears that someone will take what I say, no matter what I say, the wrong way.  Anyway, I have had two sets of twins and I get a lot of questions about how my body went back.  While I will admit that genetics do have somewhat to do with how you look, I also tell the truth:  I work hard in the gym, I don’t eat shit, and I don’t expect to get something for nothing.  I love my life, I love my energy, and I choose to live life with a fire under my ass, even when I am exhausted.  I believe that God wants me to take care of myself so I can do whatever it is he wants me to do.  Everyone is special, and everyone should take care of himself or herself so they will be here as long as they can.

I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions.  I do one thing, every day, all year round.  I try to stay balanced, which includes juggling about 50 things every day and it’s hard.  Finding balance is the key to life and it is the hardest thing that you will ever do because it is ongoing, but it is the most important.  My body, my mind, my spirit—they are all connected and the real reason I care about what I put in my body and work out is not so I will “look hot”, but because my soul and my body are connected and I want them to reflect each other. I am aware of everything going on in my soul based on how my body feels and I know what’s going on with my body because of the thoughts my mind is thinking and the emotions I am feeling.  I care about the kind of person I am, I care about what I do in my life, I care about the energy I put into the world and how can any of that be positive if I feel like garbage? 

I read “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed last week.  Basically, the book is about a woman grieving the loss of her mother and her identity.  She is extremely lost in her life and she hikes the Pacific Crest Trail in hopes of healing and gaining some clarity.  I was in a bar last week having one of my way-too-deep-for-a-bar-talks with a friend who also began reading the book.  I told him that something stood out to me while I was reading the book. I said that I find it interesting how the body can find emotional healing through physical trials. This is why I love yoga so much.  I have always been active and I was taught how to eat well, but not until the last 5 years did I really start to understand how our bodies, minds, and souls are all tied together and that everything we eat, everything we do, everything we think and say, is all tied together.  We are all tied to each other, God, and the earth.  The reason I am so into yoga isn’t just to stretch, but it is because something happens to me.  I feel aligned mentally, spiritually and physically.  I know when something is off and I can pinpoint what it is that is bothering me.  When I push myself in a workout to the point of nausea, I know I have released frustrations and tension and toxins.  When I put good foods into my body, I am able to do more physically in the gym and therefore, my thoughts and mood and energy is all better.  We are so connected, everything we do has a domino effect and it is up to us whether the continuous downfall is good or bad. 

My Food Rules:

Michael Pollan wrote the book “Food Rules”.  If you can get your hands on it, read it.  He says something so simple and true and it’s what I live by.  FOOD IS SUPPOSED TO ROT. I don’t eat well because I am “supposed to”, I eat well because I want to, because I love my body.  I eat well because food serves only one purpose……it is fuel, period.  95% of the food I eat will rot if I don’t eat it.  The other 5% is protein powder or bars (which I limit), and the treats that I eat occasionally.  I do not diet.  I do not deprive myself.  If I want a brownie, I eat one.  I eat so well though, I will notice ridiculous amounts of salt for days and I will get stomachaches from nasty foods and that is what inevitably happens to you if this is your way of life.  This is actually good, by the way.  God put everything we need for our bodies on the earth.  I don’t eat anything that I have to peel out of a package or that comes in a box and the fewer ingredients, the better. Don’t eat things with words you can’t pronounce.  That pretty much takes care of your diet if you live by that.  The food industry sucks ass.  I call them “white collar mafia” and you should take their power away by eating food.  FOOD.  Not crap. 

Go hard and always challenge yourself. 

If you want to see a difference in your body, you have to sweat.  If you aren’t in shape, get a trainer or start out slow.  I am not a fitness instructor, so I refrain from giving advice, but I know that you have to sweat and push yourself or you are wasting your time.  Yes, it will be hard at first, but then you feel like you are meditating when you are used to it and you won’t be able to live without it.  Then the more in shape you become, you fine-tune your goals.  For example, I am about to train my hamstrings so I don’t overuse my quads, which are most definitely dominant.  I may have just said “today is leg day” five years ago. 

Personally, I don’t like machines.  I also do what I want, but I move pretty much every day.  I go to yoga, I climb mountains, I go to TRX, I have learned to love the nauseating and evil thing called Tabata, I dance, I go rock climbing, I lift weights and I never force myself to do anything I hate, like for instance, running.  I never go easy unless I am sick or injured.  Whatever I do should hurt.  I challenge myself, I am never “there”, and I listen to my body.   And when you feel like you are bored, burning out, or not seeing a change anymore, change what you are doing, again and again.  Pick specific goals and refine them over time.

My main goal is to tell everyone this: YOU WILL FEEL BETTER if you adopt a healthy lifestyle for the right reasons, I promise.  I will message anyone who messages me and be encouraging to anyone who needs it. I will also point you in the right direction if you are looking for info that I am not qualified to help with.  My trainer is A-MAZ-ING, if you are looking.  I can do pull-ups and LORD I don’t even know how many push-ups now, thanks to MEGAN PETERSON!!  I love you, Megan!!  And seriously, my bra size went up and my arms are completely different in the last 9 months….how is that for motivation?  

-britt