tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39657119570348830292024-03-05T12:46:39.118-08:00Haphazard Daily....the wonderings and musings of a modern-day momBrittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.comBlogger1120125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-27113527035400263072017-02-25T18:16:00.001-08:002017-02-25T18:42:14.994-08:00Here's Lookin' At You, Kid. (My Last Blog Post) <div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Dear
readers,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Today
I am officially saying goodbye to my blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This last post is #1,119.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Haphazard
Daily was born on January 18<sup>th</sup>, 2011, which makes it a little over 6
years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What started out as an
attempt to keep my writing fresh while I stayed home with my infant twins ended
up being an unexpected conduit to self-discovery and one of the best things I
ever <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">just decided</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">to do</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(Which is how you should do everything, by the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just do it.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was passionate and every day, I became a little braver as I posted,
putting bits of my heart and soul out there for everyone to see. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At first, I wrote with no one reading, then
family and friends began reading, and eventually I started getting readers I
had never met. I had to work to keep from censoring myself as my readership went up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to write the <s>dirty</s> word I wanted
to use.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Say the thing that I was afraid
to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“But everyone will hate me.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Tell
the truth about my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“But my grandma might be reading.” <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Push</b></i> even though I might get backlash.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sticker
families and Confederate flags!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I teetered on a delicate line between being
brutally honest about the way I felt and trying to show empathy to those who
may not agree with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to learn to
be okay with the fact that some people wouldn’t even read what I wrote, or
sometimes they would, and they would criticize me and argue with me either way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I refused to block people because I believe
so strongly in freedom of speech and the value of discussion, which resulted in
a lot of stress sometimes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always
wondered if I had been fair, too harsh, wrong, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can honestly say today that I have
certainly grown and as a result, I cringe sometimes when I see things that old
Brittany said—but I was honest when I wrote whatever that was and that’s what has
probably made it possible for me to decide to retire this sweet little thing I
created and love.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
I
chose the name Haphazard Daily because I knew I would require full control of
my creativity if I was going to remain passionate every day—I wanted to write
about whatever I felt like writing about any day of the week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">She is
stubborn and hates discipline!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>(How
many times have I and will I hear that in my life?) Who says that I can’t write
about Syrian refugees on Monday and how I secretly think I am a race car driver
on Thursday?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Well, she did, as ridiculous as it was. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Thanks for reading anyway. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
I
write to understand myself and my place in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I write to find the truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when you get to the end, you stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">(Yes,
that’s from Alice in Wonderland.) </i>I have gone through a lot of growth over
the last 6 years and writing here no longer challenges me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am by no means finished becoming <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i>, but I dug at myself where I needed
to and now it’s just time to do something else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am starting a collaborative project with other writers now because,
quite frankly, the concept of TRUTH is under fire and that is very disturbing
to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Truth is not an abstract idea and
I am going to write where I am needed now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am excited about a new chapter in my writing and a little nervous, but
just do it, right?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
To
close, here is a Top 10, like I used to do every Wednesday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What has this blog taught me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">People
want to be inspired. </b>People want to connect with others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have the desire to seek the truth and part
of finding it is looking for someone we identify with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve always been shocked and humbled when
people have bothered to read what I have written.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then enjoyed it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And WHAT????<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>GOTTEN something out of it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
can’t thank my readers enough for caring enough to read my thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you for your encouragement and
feedback.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have made me a braver,
stronger, better person and writer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
love all of the connections we have made. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Pondering
is golden.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>Ask questions!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be curious!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I cannot stress to you how important it is to think critically and take
the time to think about things and develop your own thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would like to put everything into little
boxes that make sense, but it doesn’t work that way. Life is messy. It’s best
if you give your soul room to roam through the chaos and find some peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Some
people will agree with you and some won’t.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></b>Who cares?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Better to be an authentic version of yourself
rather than worry about pissing people off when you are bound to do so anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be sensitive to other perspectives, but in
the end, be you. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Art
is everywhere.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i></b>I wrote a lot
about things that inspire me because I really try to walk around in life with
my eyes and ears open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The world sucks,
but it’s good too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Remember the guy in
American Beauty who filmed the bag and cried about it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was weird, but he had a point.) <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">People
are passionate about their sticker families. </b>Talk about religion, politics,
and money before telling someone that their sticker family is stupid and an
invitation to kidnappers, unless you really want to laugh at something absurd.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They get really mad. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I did not see that one coming.)<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Your
words will be quoted back to you if you write. </b>I wrote a blog two or three
years ago about becoming Facebook Official and how it’s stupid. <a href="http://haphazarddaily.blogspot.com/2014/04/facebook-official.html">http://haphazarddaily.blogspot.com/2014/04/facebook-official.html</a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I recently changed my
status after careful consideration and of course, I was quoted back to
myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I still hold true to almost
every word.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s lame.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I missed one giant fact while
writing from my Single Ivory Tower: when you are in a relationship and you are
on social media, you are outnumbered by creeps 1000/1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">can’t</i> operate on principle because men want to send you pictures of
their penises. Your goal here is to cut that number down to at least 1/3 of
what it was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They will stop at nothing to
hit on you, so it is best to make it clear you are not available if you are not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you love your boyfriend and you are off
limits, let the bastards know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Men
are not all savages.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i></b>Men are not
all one way, just like women are not all one way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all have feelings and we are complex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">(Hold
it right there, man sending the dick pic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t mean you.)</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The
truest thing I ever wrote was about dick pics: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“</b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #535353; font-size: 13.0pt;">I
guess the thing that makes me laugh about unsolicited dick pics is that penises
to a woman are a lot like newborn babies are to people who aren’t the child’s
parents. You know how someone can have a baby and it’s hairy and its eyes
are squinty and its head is shaped funny like a cone? The mother of that
baby really thinks her baby is perfect and wants to stare at it all day, but a
stranger might think to herself <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">“I
hope his head goes back to normal.</span>” It’s the same way when it’s
your man’s penis versus some rando’s. When we have no emotional
connection to you, possibly no attraction, and we haven’t asked to see your
penis, you’re running a risk…..we may look at it like it’s someone else’s ugly
newborn baby.” </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></i></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="http://haphazarddaily.blogspot.com/2014/08/dick-pic-etiquette.html">http://haphazarddaily.blogspot.com/2014/08/dick-pic-etiquette.html</a><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></i></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When
you change and grow, cringing at your former self is inevitable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>Technology has made it possible for us to
look at things we have said, things we used to think, times we were wrong, and
unfortunately, we want to go back in time and kick our own ass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having a blog is a constant reminder that I
am constantly growing because I cringe sometimes when I read what I said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">HOW
could I have said that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was so
stupid!!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>But if you aren’t doing
that, you are more than likely arrogant and one-dimensional and one of those
people who Mark Twain said not to argue with.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></i></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Alice had to fall down a deep hole before
reaching Wonderland.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Damn.
</i>Best thing I ever did was deciding to take the risks I have taken the last
few years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Thanks
so much for reading.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s been fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
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-Brittany
Chenault<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></div>
Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-49678690688703929622017-02-22T13:07:00.000-08:002017-02-22T13:13:22.354-08:00Me on Writer's Block<div class="MsoNormal">
Right now I am asking myself if I will ever write
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I write.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I figure the thought is just as good on paper than it is swimming around
in the dark corners of my mind where all doubt and fear reside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s as if I am taunting the thought by
typing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Come out to play, you little bastard, where it’s sunny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hop on my Mac and we’ll see how powerful you
are.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I’ll let you know how that works by the blog I write or
don’t write soon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I have always considered my experiences, feelings and
thoughts to be writing material, along with anything I learn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have realized in the last year that it is
entirely possible to have so many experiences and feelings and thoughts and to
learn so much in such a short amount of time that they can pile up in such a
way that they begin to feel like a blockage. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always thought writer’s block was a state of
having nothing to say, but I feel like for me, it’s that I have too much to
say.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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My friends keep saying <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You
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<br /></div>
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I know I will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Writing
is as useful as breathing to me, which makes me wonder if I have been holding
my breath, waiting for the right moment to exhale….all over my blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
What. A. Year. <o:p></o:p></div>
Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-744983860924078862016-09-14T16:00:00.002-07:002016-09-14T16:13:33.622-07:00This is what venting looks like....<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This is by far the scariest, most sad thing
that I have ever published.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At first I
was venting, but when I told my friend I had written it, she told me to publish
it…without even reading it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To my friend
reading, I love you and I am sorry that you were not supported more and that
you can’t go back in time, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>but you are a
beam of sunshine regardless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t quit
believing in your wonderful spirit. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
One
of my very good male friends called me a few days ago and said that he read my
blog (two blogs ago, about time) and said he liked it but that he was jealous
of my optimism. Although he is right, I am an optimist, I sort of laughed
because it’s not like I smile 24/7 and my optimism does not exist from being
blind like it did when I was a little girl, so there is no reason to be jealous
of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being positive no longer prevails
from naiveté, but instead from faith and having witnessed things work out in my
life and others’ when it seemed unlikely that they would. Honestly, I think the
world is a greedy, dirty, violent place and that human beings and their
disgustingness are the only reason it doesn’t look like a Bob Ross painting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That being said, it’s a blessing once you
learn to accept this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once you stop
being shocked when people are a disgrace, you can focus on when people are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> a disgrace, what is good in the
world, those who need help, what is possible, and you start dreaming from a
place that is much more realistic—I think this all starts with your attitude,
your words, and the belief that you are capable of more than you think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have to tune the world out while at the
same time, acknowledging that it is there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Even
though it is our forced responsibility to screen incoming negativity, I really
wish people would think first before spewing their negativity and cynicism all
over each other because it really and truly <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">can
be</i> influential.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look at the effects
of being bullied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not sure who
started <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Sticks and stones will break my
bones but names will never hurt me” </i>but whoever it was has a lot of
explaining to do. Of course our words and attitudes matter to another
person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We leave imprints on each other;
sorry to disappoint the oblivious ones, but we do. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am going to admit, I am angry and
brokenhearted right now because I was not able to protect someone I care about
from others’ negative input.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a
person who believes that I go through things so I can help someone else. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish I could transfer my experience
directly into another’s brain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Literally
being able to do that would be amazing because then when I say <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I know how you feel and I promise you’ll be
okay,”</i> they would believe me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
I
want to make very clear that this blog is not about whether abortion is right
or wrong, but instead, it’s about being supportive of the people we love or
“love” and watching what comes out of our mouths, especially toward people who
are feeling weak and scared. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never
talk about abortion and I have avoided writing about it in the past
purposefully for two very specific reasons:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Because I was young when I had my first set of
twins and I don’t want those who have had abortions to take my choice to have Logan
and Lindsey as a judgment on them because I am not judgmental.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But seriously, how can I explain why I made
the choice to have them without making them feel like I am judging them,
especially if my reasons are directly related to my moral beliefs?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t, no matter how hard I try, so I just don’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Because a lot of people (not everyone!!!!) who
are pro-life refuse to accept or even acknowledge that we live in a broken
society that makes it very difficult for a young mother to choose life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People throw around morals because they sound
good and yet they do nothing to show compassion, which would be understanding
that single mothers are THE poorest people in our country—especially
politicians, and that those
children are going to be the most vulnerable to poverty and crime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Be opinionated, but have a damn solution to the problem or sit down. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You simply cannot scream that you appreciate
life when you are cruel to the life in front of you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are dense enough to abandon and cast
judgment upon a young, unmarried woman who was brave enough to be judged in
order to save that life, well you and I aren’t ever going to see eye to eye. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think you are a fraud.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
To
be blunt, there are a lot of people on both sides of the argument who annoy me,
so I just stay out of the discussion altogether, until now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know firsthand how you get treated when you
get pregnant at a young age and what you are up against and I probably should
have spoken up long ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
I
found out I was pregnant during my first month of college. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not have ONE college credit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was not married. I had never had a job
before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had never cooked anything but macaroni
and cheese and hotdogs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was nowhere
near ready to be a mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had been
having severe anxiety attacks for a year, but I said to myself <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“It isn’t about you anymore, grow up.”</i>
The attacks went away because I told myself I couldn’t have them anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I know, weird.) <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>I told everyone I was
pregnant and that I was going to keep what I thought was one baby at the
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People automatically started
telling me to have an abortion, to give them away, that I must have meant to
get pregnant (no, I was just immature and thought I was invincible) and I got
angry and silent and prayed for strength.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I found nice ways to tell people to fuck off, but their pressure and
words hurt me and it would have been nice to have support, or just
silence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Silence would have been
sufficient to me while I sorted out the stress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I cried every night because I felt alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I had an ultrasound and found out there
were two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The people who originally
wanted me to have an abortion then changed their minds to adoption, because you
know, it’s not ok to abort twins, but a singleton, that is your free pass, so
never mind, Britt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now give them up. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Facepalm.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lived this and didn’t end up in jail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
I
held my kicking tummy at night, let people have their judgment, and decided to
let the cards fall. My revenge was making good grades and being a good mother
and making everyone eat their words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
clung to those who DID support me, let the deadbeat go without a fight, and now
they are 15. It was not easy and I attribute the strength I had to the fact
that God is indeed with me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
I
recently saw a reflection of myself in someone else and I won’t lie, I am
having a very hard time with the anger and sadness I am feeling because I
couldn’t protect her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also cannot
write everything out of respect for her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She is like a little sister, she is young, she was pregnant, and she
wanted to have it but she was also very scared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It turns out that there weren’t enough words to convey to her that I
knew how she was feeling and that it would be okay when the baby was born. She
told me over the weekend that she had aborted it and she is not okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I talked to her as much as I could this past
month about her pregnancy. She was scared, she was crying every day, and <u>not
one</u> person supported her when she said she wanted to keep the baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was basically told she was not fit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There wasn’t enough optimism surrounding her because
I was literally the ONLY one telling her she could do it on her own and I was
out of state. I am angry that no one listened to her literally crying, her body
language, her hyperventilating on the table when she was about to have the
abortion. I am angry that she was bleeding from having done something she
didn’t really want to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am angry
that the people around her told her that they knew what was best for her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was HER CHOICE, and while she did
ultimately make it, having been there in that dark place and understanding how
horrible that heaping pressure feels on your shoulders and how much doubt there
is to succumb to, I am angry with the people who were in her ear. She
immediately wanted to take it back and she can’t and she said that’s the worst
part. I wish I could have been more comforting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I wish I could be now. I worry about her emotionally. What will this do to her since she didn't believe in her decision?<o:p></o:p></div>
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We <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">need</i> positive people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">need</i>
optimism.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> need</i> people to tell us that things are possible and that we are
capable of doing them. The world sucks, guys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Don’t succumb to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get angry,
stay silent, and believe in yourself and the good things to come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">And when you open your damn mouth, freaking think first. That's all. I am pissed. Stop tearing people down. Be supportive, dammit. </span></div>
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Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-23314894426618008832016-09-02T11:19:00.005-07:002016-09-02T11:51:52.987-07:00The Loft<div class="MsoNormal">
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCkHZ7Nr87aOIAKMI61dVOZv5jTtCX6H9G4U7CaHdJwk8sXQJZPL0tx-0H5II_ahbs0Ioh0cPROT6znNifq5jiZXhySRIECktHNUaxw_DhejqO-_XmE4VSd9OdEwHySTBLWjjfP38Vtqg/s640/blogger-image--913859455.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCkHZ7Nr87aOIAKMI61dVOZv5jTtCX6H9G4U7CaHdJwk8sXQJZPL0tx-0H5II_ahbs0Ioh0cPROT6znNifq5jiZXhySRIECktHNUaxw_DhejqO-_XmE4VSd9OdEwHySTBLWjjfP38Vtqg/s640/blogger-image--913859455.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">THESE WINDOWS make me SO HAPPY!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
I thought an update was due since most of you know that four
months ago, I made the decision to sell my house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a huge decision, one that I got a lot
of support for and also one that sent a lot of snide, judgmental comments my
way because I was doing something, well I guess, not normal. I am settled and into a routine since the kids are back in school, so I
have finally found time to post some pictures. I have not posted the boys' room because it is messy and I am not completely finished with it, and the two bathrooms because frankly, that would just be odd and unnecessary. I am posting pictures to illustrate what I did to maximize our family time, in case someone else feels the same way I did when I was in my house. <br />
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For those of you who don’t know, I had very specific reasons
for selling the house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, the market
was great, but I also began to take a personal inventory and decided that I was
not living the way I wanted to, nor raising my children the way I wanted
to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I work a lot, which I can't really get out of because we can't just starve to death. And because I am not at home with them all day and our weekends were crammed with playing catch up, there was very little down time no matter what I seemed to do. The kids' childhoods weren't looking anything like what I wanted for them at all. </span>I was disturbed when I thought about what kind of adults they
would become by having this type of childhood, one filled with walls and technology and privacy and alone time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I pictured uncultured zombies who have no critical thinking skills, who don’t go outside, who are detached from society, who are egotistical and insecure online.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have
no idea what the effects of all of this technology will be on these kids, but I think it's safe to say that if adults have become this way already, adults who have had limited exposure, our kids are in trouble.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, I feared what was happening, but I
couldn’t find the time as a tired, stressed single mom to correct it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The to-do list that I could not catch up with
no matter how hard I tried, in fact, I fell more and more behind with all the time,
was making me resentful. I worked all day to provide them with things that I hated and I had to fight more and more for family time because I was competing with these mindless machines (the technology, not my children.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was beginning to hate paying
and arranging lawn maintenance for a yard the kids wouldn’t play in. I hated having
to drive everywhere (we live in Atlanta, everyone does) and listen to them fight while I was trying to just do
something nice together. I hated that I was the only person in the house who
couldn’t work any of the electronics and therefore, I couldn't control any of it. I was just done, but when
we were together, the last thing I wanted to do was fight and discipline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was like a hamster on a wheel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I sold the wheel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Add to the fact that I woke up in a fire in that house, even
though it was rebuilt beautifully, I still could not sleep without having
horrible anxiety and it wasn’t improving. It was simply not where we were supposed to
be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I prayed. A lot. And I decided to leave. </span></div>
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Those who were judgmental, their opinions never mattered to
me because the questions they asked were predictable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started to ask people when they would press
me <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Why do we need all of this stuff?
Does it make you happy? Do you die with it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Why do kids need their own damn suites to grow up in?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s worse, why do we think they do?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Look at kids around the globe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are not the norm. I downsized and it’s
been amazing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To each his own, but it’s
not for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I may buy again one day.
Or I may not. I have no clue because I keep surprising myself and the one thing
I have learned about myself is that I covet the freedom and time to grow as a
person and I know I can’t do that when I am drowning in mundane details and
upkeep and bullshit responsibilities that I don’t really need to have. The more
you have, the more maintenance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Simple
as that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Life <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is </i>more manageable now. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My commute is shorter. I order my groceries on Instacart,
which saves time and helps me plan and not buy things that end up going to
waste.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I once ordered a heating pad and it was there in an hour! I don't have to worry about fixing anything when it breaks. I kicked the HOA to the curb because they SUCK. I don't have to feel bad that I suck at growing flowers because I don't have a yard. The bug man comes and I don't have to call him. It's WONDERFUL! I could really go on and on. But really, the best part is that my kids are right there next to me in the living space because I set it up to be the heart and the bedrooms are just the limbs. I SEE them more closely. I can SEE how they are relating and responding to each other and I have been able to correct them in a more patient and loving way. I have made it easier for them to choose wisely about how they are spending their time, rather than rotting in front of some device. I have less errands, less cleaning, etc., and that's freeing up tons of time with them and now I am maximizing the time that I have when I have it. </span></div>
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Here are the main things I did to change our environment and
it’s ending up suitable for us:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">We have ONE
TELEVISION and absolutely no technology in the bedrooms. Bedrooms are for
sleeping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgihQTUFnHW3Fhv_R1kMOX1Rul94jOfoA6YEXFzOitU5eYhOayr72EZTWTQAEFDv0YybcCTbf5JXU6CutqesoN8tNMqLNNB3PUKEYhWeI9-lFpn9bVD621dtt7sGk8dY4ke-mHAanDoNPw/s640/blogger-image-874363916.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgihQTUFnHW3Fhv_R1kMOX1Rul94jOfoA6YEXFzOitU5eYhOayr72EZTWTQAEFDv0YybcCTbf5JXU6CutqesoN8tNMqLNNB3PUKEYhWeI9-lFpn9bVD621dtt7sGk8dY4ke-mHAanDoNPw/s640/blogger-image-874363916.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Those little violins are the first I played as a child</td></tr>
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We used to have 6 televisions/blu-ray players/every game
system.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why? Probably because I work all
the time and I felt guilty and wanted to make them happy at Christmas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sold all but one when we moved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The kids have their Wii and Playstation but
they aren’t allowed to play on Sunday and they have to earn their time every
other day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They also have to play
together or take turns, which forces them to socialize and work it out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> If we are watching something on TV, we pretty much all have to decide together, and if someone doesn't want to, they can read a book or play with a toy. </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
I made jars and got coin rolls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each coin represents the minutes they earn to play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, if they get ready for school and don’t give me grief, they get a quarter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This has actually worked for them, and the amazing thing is that they think about when they want to use it. Carson likes to save his coins for the weekend and therefore, he reads with me at night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(If we have time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t say I have loads of time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I work in Buckhead and still get home late.)<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Music<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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They are learning about music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First of all, I won’t be buying crap, so they
will be exposed to musicians who ACTUALLY PLAY INSTRUMENTS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, I am hoping that they will take time to
learn about the process of playing music before it was digital, look at the
artwork, bond with the artist, develop nostalgia…as opposed to hearing some
shitty song, pressing download, and having no appreciation for who they are
supporting as an “artist.” Carson asked for me to put on a record last night and we danced for 20 minutes. He learned how to spin and dip me. It was awesome. <br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Their Violins are out and easily accessible <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Speaking of music, they started violin and the reason is
because, I won’t lie, I played violin and it’s good for their brains.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can also practice with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They can play whatever they want one day; I am just trying to expose them to playing and creating music. Anyway, I hung hooks
for their violins so they would be more inclined to practice, rather than
sayyyyy, playing Playstation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQKuteLfXgZx4SnjsdjJWn5wD-NcMsHnX1wHG2rjXoZP5N8YTSIF6RTFJNgfh6KR-8dPyP2EYdr8y_U7QVfmJpoXKNOy40B26wRt3-fBbT7g2U06NybVJkT0wz6aG8mqMPQ4DNi_OOBsQ/s640/blogger-image--991808577.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQKuteLfXgZx4SnjsdjJWn5wD-NcMsHnX1wHG2rjXoZP5N8YTSIF6RTFJNgfh6KR-8dPyP2EYdr8y_U7QVfmJpoXKNOy40B26wRt3-fBbT7g2U06NybVJkT0wz6aG8mqMPQ4DNi_OOBsQ/s640/blogger-image--991808577.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of my favorite things about my walls is my art, however, I hung all of these and then<br />
set up the table and now have to recenter all of it. RRRRR. </td></tr>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">There is plenty of
room to play in the living area with toys<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Their room is plenty big, but they never play in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They bring their toys out and play where I
am, which I like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Reading Areas<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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There are two places in the loft dedicated to reading and
sitting quietly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One has twinkle lights,
which they love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is Lindsey’s
favorite area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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And just a little reading chair and table under the loft.<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Lindsey’s Crib<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Lindsey was the biggest variable in whether I did all of this, so I talked to her first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
boys are small and young and they are happy no matter what right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Luckily, she loved the idea of
having a bedroom up in the ceiling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
loved the idea of climbing a ladder to get to her bed and since I made it clear
that our new rule was that our bedrooms were only for sleeping and reading, she
was on board.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I explained to her that I was trying to be more connected to them and change our direction. </span>Originally when I looked
at the loft, we were going to build her room up over the kitchen, but there
wasn’t an access point, so I improvised.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I knew I needed a lot of bookcases, so I designed this and had a
carpenter build it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My teenage daughter
used to lock herself in her bedroom, she was on some kind of technology all
night and even when I would take everything away, it seemed she would find some
other device to mess with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> She also does not have</span> walls…so I guess she won’t
have a boyfriend until college. I totally didn’t mean to do that!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Books<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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They can't say there is nothing to read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neither can I.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">My Room<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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My room is like a cave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No windows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No television.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just a bed and the stuff I need to get
ready.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s amazing, and dangerous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to have an alarm clock or I could
sleep all day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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When I first told them we weren't having televisions in the bedrooms, Lindsey freaked out. But then I told her that I was following the same philosophy and
rules. I told them that we would all sleep better if we removed the
technology.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s true. We do. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX7zX2FIADwy1bbWllnlZ1uVjYdk5PNMhZnrva0BxBsQTbXodYVL2-pPiaMKRiKON7_j6PLHI4RjH2BqR_gPjdv-3ui1mTfb-V-EBLrel1B5FDApfQLOGyBrkFU-hv6Rs6IR0v3VMC7UA/s640/blogger-image--2012907563.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX7zX2FIADwy1bbWllnlZ1uVjYdk5PNMhZnrva0BxBsQTbXodYVL2-pPiaMKRiKON7_j6PLHI4RjH2BqR_gPjdv-3ui1mTfb-V-EBLrel1B5FDApfQLOGyBrkFU-hv6Rs6IR0v3VMC7UA/s640/blogger-image--2012907563.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Never can have enough Alice pictures on your walls. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Work Area <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Lindsey sat here for 4 hours doing homework last Saturday. Poor thing.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Kitchen<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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The kitchen is smaller and the kids eat on barstools; this
is much more my style.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At my old house,
I sat the kids at the table and I stood standing next to the kitchen sink
shoveling chicken into my mouth as quickly as I could just in case I didn’t have
time to eat before they finished. This habit started after my first set of
twins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t dare sit while the
twins were eating because I was constantly preparing myself for a nuclear
disaster-spaghetti flying everywhere, someone choking, etc. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUksEBl-yUAJ4l50sBl8OIAP9H7HvQI0lTGMAtTNu_CeBCItFcIYfNc2okkdA3IHhQ4vFRyrH6h0OA8qlo1xliL25uvUjP6m713WTqnx2O61amR47YbdvSN7nUNxost59PF4EVezLLUEA/s640/blogger-image-833320350.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUksEBl-yUAJ4l50sBl8OIAP9H7HvQI0lTGMAtTNu_CeBCItFcIYfNc2okkdA3IHhQ4vFRyrH6h0OA8qlo1xliL25uvUjP6m713WTqnx2O61amR47YbdvSN7nUNxost59PF4EVezLLUEA/s640/blogger-image-833320350.jpg" /></a></div>
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We have a family dinner once a week on the square; they take turns
choosing the restaurant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We walked to
church for the first time this past Sunday, which is just awesome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dylan’s favorite store is an antique store on
the corner. There are theaters, playgrounds, ice-cream shops, toy stores, and
candy shops—they really like it. The farmer's market is there every Saturday and Sunday, which is nice. My favorite thing to do is have brunch because brunch is the best. Plus, they have a cappuccino the size of my head. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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When Lindsey is in a bad mood, I tell her to take a walk or
go to the rooftop deck, which is right above us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The train that
we are practically living on top of must be soothing because she comes back
another person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> HA! </span>Speaking of the train, I
used to wake up when I heard a tiny creak in the floor and now I sleep through
a train (and it’s seriously LOUD) and sirens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
are next to a hospital, the police station and the fire station and for me, this
is comfort crack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If something does
happen, they are right there!<o:p></o:p></div>
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We also have a pool and a gym, which is very nice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Anyway, that's it! If you are thinking about refocusing anything in your life, I assure you that it is worth taking the leap. This was really scary, but I am SO much happier and so are my children! Someone came by when I was first moving in and he said <i>"You felt closed in in the house, didn't you?" </i>And I sort of dropped my jaw and said <i>"Yes. How did you know?"</i> And he said <i>"You just seem like the type of person who needs room to breathe." </i>It was so poignant, I wondered if he knew just how much. This place is smaller and yet I can breathe better. Go figure. </span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGIMd0kvioAW7OLNDW4k9dXc6G6h76T45jN5UjG9SY-T2FCV43eR0aGkBR2yyEgbNSngjWgST69Kgp6OFzXcHc8IIHTXaNlNRs7FLVIKEJzm20t5l6G_BKbY0sZLQbWr70WxZrC7VOaP8/s640/blogger-image--443788401.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGIMd0kvioAW7OLNDW4k9dXc6G6h76T45jN5UjG9SY-T2FCV43eR0aGkBR2yyEgbNSngjWgST69Kgp6OFzXcHc8IIHTXaNlNRs7FLVIKEJzm20t5l6G_BKbY0sZLQbWr70WxZrC7VOaP8/s640/blogger-image--443788401.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh Look! Another Alice picture! They are everywhere, I tell you! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFs6tTDTuoaF8DOdDKdGJYhODgJH6WMUTXgL8I2dV_e9JWmFgOKn-u2szi6l6vbsOreRyLHTvgsDs6bv-db3xmy6fFiV5DHH_QG97Rt2pYDizkz0Vd6JrtByheUNmA_2jOWfu-Xv_Rnu0/s640/blogger-image-1743144534.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFs6tTDTuoaF8DOdDKdGJYhODgJH6WMUTXgL8I2dV_e9JWmFgOKn-u2szi6l6vbsOreRyLHTvgsDs6bv-db3xmy6fFiV5DHH_QG97Rt2pYDizkz0Vd6JrtByheUNmA_2jOWfu-Xv_Rnu0/s640/blogger-image-1743144534.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The only thing I wish here is that the door were magnetic. That would be sweet. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-33936729758714445522016-09-01T11:33:00.002-07:002016-09-01T12:05:37.090-07:00Shifting Time<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
If
there were a rehabilitation center for Podcast lovers, I would definitely be a
candidate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am completely and
shamelessly addicted to them, especially NPR’s TED Radio Hour. My poor kids beg
for music in the car, but I am relentless and voracious for the information
that waits for me on the other end of that beautiful, purple app on my phone. I
understand them being bored by NPR and I feel better by telling myself that
because my kids are passively hearing this information, one day when they are
in class learning about Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, it will sound familiar
to them and therefore I am doing them a favor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>However, yesterday one of my 7-year-olds asked me on the way to school
what a Nazi is and I realized that it might be a little much for 7:30 in the
morning on the way to 2<sup>nd</sup> grade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Whoops. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Yesterday
I listened to a TED from the archives called “Shifting Time.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It re-aired on August 5<sup>th</sup> and I
can say that as interesting as it was, I am relieved that I did not listen to
it on that day because August 5<sup>th</sup> happens to be my birthday and I
would have thought too much about aging and would have upset myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, it is highly stupid to be upset
about how old you are because we are always aging.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are aging right now, with every second—while
you sit and read this and while I sat here and typed this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aging never ends and a birthday only serves
as a reminder that 365 more days have passed and marks the fact that maybe you
have a new ailment since last year and have learned a new lesson, or maybe that you didn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all know this, but we
still can’t wrap our minds around our relationship with time, which is what the
podcast is sort of about. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
I
won’t tell you everything about it, but to sum it up, it answers the following
questions: How can time be so predictable and yet become so different depending
on where and who you are? Why is summer so long to a child but it flies for an
adult?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is what we think of as time even
real? When did time begin? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What IS time?
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
Cesar
Kuriyama had an animation background and began working on an app called 1
Second.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The concept of the app is to
film one second a day, every day for a year, and by doing this, time somehow
seems to slow down. By watching a video of a second filmed every day, you can
SEE time passing, as opposed to say looking at a picture of your first day of
school next to a picture of your last day of school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can SEE where you have been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kuriyama says his understanding of time
becomes far more finite than it’s ever been after watching his video at the end
of the year. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This sounded mesmerizing to
me—so mesmerizing that I spent $4.99 on the app.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am still learning how to use it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
My
first clip is of Dylan sitting at the counter eating cereal this morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He flips the calendar that hangs on the wall to
his left from August to September and shouts “It’s September 1<sup>st</sup>!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I packed up our things and got ready to make
the drive to school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We saw a beautiful
sunrise on the way and I thought it would have been a nice clip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then Dylan asks an intelligent question about
the sun rising.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think to myself that I
would like to remember that forever; maybe that should have been my clip.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We see a Remax hot air balloon and Dylan
shrieks because he is so excited, something he won’t do at 15.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I pull up to the school and he gets out
of the car; I tell him I <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
love
him and he waves with one hand and the other is on the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He says in a sweet voice <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Bye” </i>and closes it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would
have loved that to be on tape too, even if it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">looks </i>the same every morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He is getting taller and his voice will change eventually and maybe he
won’t stay as long at the door one day, adoring his mother, because his friends
will be watching.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
I
thought about how all of these moments are immediately into the past, tiny and
meaningful, and how the moments are adding up to days and those days are adding
up to months and the months are rolling into years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suddenly felt like calling my grandma.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told my grandma that she has always been right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Time flies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I know I can’t slow it down, but I am appreciating and respecting it and
I have recently made HUGE changes in order to do so. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked her how she and my grandpa are doing.
She told me she is doing well and that I won’t really be old until 87, which is
how old she is, and that I should write everything down so I can remember
things when I am her age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I walked up to
the gym feeling very happy that I had used my 15 spare minutes to call my
grandma in Indiana.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is 900 seconds,
after all. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
I
think what I find most surprising about being conscious about these seconds in
my day (and just the ones before lunch) is how many amazing moments my life is
made up of, every single day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
immediately want to thank God for every day that I am alive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything I do seems so small in the grand
scheme of things and when you feel that way, I think it’s very easy to lose
sight of the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">importance</i> of what you
are doing day to day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In reality, the
big picture really is made up of all of the days you live and all of the little
things you do from moment to moment, day to day, month to month, year to year…and
they matter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not every second is
detrimental, but some seconds are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not
every second is beautiful, maybe instead they suck and they exist as tiny
slivers of what will become a larger lesson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Some seconds are with us always, and some will evaporate because they
are insignificant to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never
underestimate the power or length of a second because it is the present.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
I am
learning over time that all big goals and big dreams are actually very organic
and feel very small.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything we
decide to do, everything huge that we want to accomplish or experience, can’t
come into fruition without tiny little movements.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are we using our very little free time
wisely? Are we positive or negative?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are
we in control of our emotions and our thoughts or are we overrun by
negativity?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are we using crutches that
enable us?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are we concentrating on the
bad things that happen in the day rather than focusing on each marvelous
second?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because all of the things I just
mentioned are daily activities that paint a larger picture, mood, habit, and
attitude. Maybe if we all had this app, a year in our life might look different
just from being present in the moments we are in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe by actively seeking and then
recognizing the moments to capture and document, we could see just how many
things are worthy of remembering and worthy of attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> For 5 bucks, I am going to find out.</span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDPBAd5d3I52lEPBlDOrQIi_r-95qHTdWiY8PdbG3iQkPXTeuNYZzQy5sqHY6iVUsysvV9FrKUysqzMe3fSpMrc6S37cV1QDH2u6nEnR57IopYu-_M7GeNYiTEKFYnX64uUr84WYBUzaQ/s640/blogger-image--965514023.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDPBAd5d3I52lEPBlDOrQIi_r-95qHTdWiY8PdbG3iQkPXTeuNYZzQy5sqHY6iVUsysvV9FrKUysqzMe3fSpMrc6S37cV1QDH2u6nEnR57IopYu-_M7GeNYiTEKFYnX64uUr84WYBUzaQ/s640/blogger-image--965514023.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was from a second in my life last night. He has been read to since he was a baby and<br />
maybe all of those seconds that he was read to led to him picking up a book on his own and<br />
reading in bed while I did the dishes......</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></div>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-49683397565453120912016-03-14T13:12:00.003-07:002016-03-14T13:12:45.843-07:00A Note to My Guy Friends.....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEjhv6Cu8BTdHKTl7bOd7aHUXyiWgrsb8ogUuYITNQbKGbXnpilp7ljxMa3ek5EK8nPZ0ZC26-bY1CxpwZ6nEnRjRyUl2VHjsY92EJg7qx7C4visgaHwiOZgFKuH2xmCBXlPF4AILux0g/s1600/fz3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEjhv6Cu8BTdHKTl7bOd7aHUXyiWgrsb8ogUuYITNQbKGbXnpilp7ljxMa3ek5EK8nPZ0ZC26-bY1CxpwZ6nEnRjRyUl2VHjsY92EJg7qx7C4visgaHwiOZgFKuH2xmCBXlPF4AILux0g/s320/fz3.jpg" width="302" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When you become a parent, you are the one who is supposed to
have all of the answers. I like to think that my perspective is pretty
sufficient for my teenagers because I have already gone through what they are
going through, naturally, and I have learned a lot in life thus far. But occasionally, my children show me
something and they have no idea that they have done it. My 14-year-old son, Logan, is starting to
deal with an issue that I am only now starting to understand and work through
in my 30’s and I am a little mind blown by the perspective that he gave me on
Friday night. One minute I am a parent
being protective of my child, and then the next, I am just a girl again
thinking about the flip-side of what he is saying and hoping it’s not my fault
that he’s going through it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Parenthood has me really thinking that the Friend Zone is bullshit, as odd as that sounds. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I was 15, I became the teenage girl who only dated
assholes who made her unhappy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eventually,
a pattern emerged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I became an adult who
was doing the same thing and it was clear that I was a habitual offender; I was
always devoted to the wrong guy and wouldn’t walk away until I was so depleted
and exhausted that I had nothing left to give and I didn’t care anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was angry that I was treated badly, but I
was used to it, so my relationships always ended with me leaving and wondering
what I was doing wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Long story
short, after a lot of pondering and some therapy, I finally figured out what
the pattern was about and I only partially blame the guys I have been in
relationships with because I had no idea I was with them to fill a void in the
first place. I am not letting anyone off the hook here for treating me badly,
but I am saying that had I taken the time to understand my childhood and myself,
none of my relationships would have gotten as dark and scary as they did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t fix anyone else, they can’t fix me,
and the desire for that to happen can lead to very dysfunctional
situations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am happy to say that I
have figured all of this crap out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I can also say that I have many, many guy friends who never would have treated me badly. And it's sort of bullshit. (Watch how many times I say that word in this post.) </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Throughout my life, starting from the age of 14 years of age
to now, I have always had male friends telling me I am better than the assholes
I have chosen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would basically nod,
say thank you, love you, and go back to what I was doing because whatever they
said never really resonated. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My son is very open with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He is deep, sweet, intelligent, and cares about people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told me about one of his girlfriends who
is in a bad situation with a guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got
all of the information about the girl because it’s my job as an adult to make
sure I don’t need to get involved, but I also just listened to him and tried to
give him advice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He described the girl
as innocent, different from the other girls, said she reminds him of me (big
red flag for me that we pass this crap onto our kids) and he is upset that she
is putting herself in a stupid situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are obviously very close because he wouldn’t even tell me who she
was in order to protect her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is
trying to be there for her but she won’t listen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is mad at the guy and can’t say
anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is frustrated that he is
taking the time to give her advice and then he has to watch her ignore it and
continue to hurt herself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It dawned on
me that my son is “the good guy,” the one that this girl may never learn to
appreciate, the one who gets “friend zoned” while she continues to date
assholes, the one who will have to repeat the same advice to these girls, over
and over and over, unless I can explain to him that it’s the girls’ issue, not
his.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a mother, I would rather him be
the good guy than the asshole and I am proud of him, but I also don’t want him
to attempt to save every broken girl because I know how that ends. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a mother, I want him to put his time into a
girl who is capable of loving him back and not get hung up on the ones who will
make him crazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a mother, I know he
deserves a girl who knows herself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
don’t want my sons to love girls who love assholes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a lot of guy friends; I always have since I was in
middle school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Some, most, all, none)
of them want to sleep with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t
know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am sure that it varies just like
the depth of every relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
whether or not they are romantically interested in me or have been at any
point, I realize now that I have probably really upset them from time to time
because some of my stories have been upsetting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Women often talk to their male friends about their relationships to gain
a perspective that they can’t get from their girlfriends and although I have
always <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">heard </i>my male friends say <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You deserve better than that,”</i> I never thought
about how I made them feel every time I ignored their advice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Women can be protective; I am very protective
of my friends, but it is inherent for a (good) man to want to protect a
woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My son is 14.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is protective of me, he is protective of
his sister (even when he can’t stand her) and he is already displaying concern
for girls his own age.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I haven’t
considered when I talk to my male friends about how another “man” is behaving
is that maybe I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">can’t </i>talk to them as
if I am talking to my girlfriends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When
I listened to Logan, I realized how upsetting it could be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First of all, if they are good guys, they
will never be okay with an asshole.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Secondly, they sometimes feel like taking action and when you don’t let
them do anything and then go back to the situation, it’s very frustrating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if their need to protect me has actually
upset them more so than it would one of my girlfriends and by treating them the
same, I have made a big mistake? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I once
told one of my guy friends over the phone what a boyfriend had done after I
broke up with him and it got quiet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
had put the phone down in order to punch something. He came back and I
apologized.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t want a girl
upsetting my son like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It's bullshit that I was with the assholes. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every single one of the good guys in my life has a mother and
if I were that mother, I would have told them not to be as patient as they have
been with me in the past, but as a girl, I am so grateful for the men in my
life who have told me I am a catch, that someone will treat me well, and that I
deserve a guy who will give me the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think about the patience they have had with me over the years and I am
beyond grateful, but I am also very sorry that they have had to watch me
suffer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Women make a lot of jokes about how men don’t listen, how
they aren’t empathetic, how they only think with their penises…but it’s not
always true. And it is also not always true that being this way gets you friend zoned...but it <i>seems </i>true sometimes. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I just want to give a shout
out to all of my male friends who have loved me so much, who have listened to
my bullshit, over and over and over and over and over on repeat, like a broken
record and not really gotten the same in return all the time. Thank you for being awesome men and not
little boys. Thanks for telling me over
the years that I deserve a good guy....like you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I usually have some end paragraph that ties together
everything I have said, but I just don’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think I am just curious as to what the men have to say about
this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-54360027007879238652016-02-08T10:17:00.001-08:002016-02-08T10:24:45.988-08:00"Hey, I know we haven't met. Show me your boobs."<div class="MsoNormal">
I was on Tinder a year ago, if you remember, for a
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I laughed most of the time, got
some great writing material, didn’t take it seriously, but in the midst of my
laughter, I did make a couple of male “pen pals.” What I mean by this is that I
found no reason to actually end up meeting them in person, we friended each
other on Facebook, and shot a few texts back and forth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Now what I am about to say shouldn't be shocking because we know all about Tinder. But believe it or not, you run into these situations regardless of where you meet a person. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I haven’t talked to this one guy for a year because he blew
it with me pretty much immediately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He FaceTimed
me when I said I was in bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was
obviously hoping I was naked. Instead, he found me in a pitch-black room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was cackling to myself because I am evil
like that and I thought it was funny that I was in the dark and he couldn’t see
anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought he was a disrespectful,
desperate douche bag and I was no longer interested in giving him a
chance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s the thing…I haven’t met
you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have never bought me
dinner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You haven’t opened a door for
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I am going to FaceTime you
naked? Come on now, douche bag.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway,
he randomly texted me last week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
polite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hi, how are you, thanks for
asking….big mistake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was still not
interested because of the FaceTime thing, plus he had stupid, cheap looking
tattoos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How did I know? Because HE was
shirtless when he FaceTimed me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So this
past Friday, he asked me what I was doing on Saturday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I said “Going to a Mardi Gras themed birthday
party.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told me not to show my boobs
to anyone and only he could see them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">SERIOUSLY?????</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come on!!! Who says that???<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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What the hell is wrong with people?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Here’s what I wanted to say to this guy:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->I have never met you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->I can show my boobs to whomever I want because I
don’t have a boyfriend and it sure as hell isn’t you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->I am not the type that goes around showing my
boobs to people even when I am “allowed.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->You’re disgusting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Your tattoos are lame.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am just repulsed by these kinds of guys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish I could say that he is the first man
to talk to me like that, but he isn’t. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s almost like some men assume that all
women want ridiculous amounts of attention and commitment, or maybe they fake
it thinking that’s what you want and then once they sleep with you they
disappear? I don’t know because it doesn’t work on me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I had to choose between dating in the year 2016 or kissing
lepers like Mother Theresa, I would take leprosy. Luckily I can just enjoy my life and be single and write blogs about the guys who disrespect and annoy me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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I am so over it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
just want to put a big sign on my face saying <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I murder people”</i> just so I will be left alone. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-67111321352087391472016-01-28T07:47:00.002-08:002016-01-28T07:50:19.342-08:00Just a LeafAgain, I pulled from my book <i>"642 Things to Write About." </i>The prompt was "Write about a tree from the point of view of one of its leaves."<br />
<br />
Here's what I got:<br />
<br />
<b>Curious Leaf. </b><br />
<br />
<i>I can't wait until fall. </i><i>I hear about it, but I am not sure it even exists. I only know of one season since I was just a young bud on my branch and therefore so much of my life is pondering whether or not this season is real. The tree says to have faith, I will meet the fall. He says he's seen things I haven't, but I'm not so sure. How can I believe in something I have never witnessed myself? He says I will prefer the season I am in right now, but that's hard to believe. I am plagued with the mundane and crave excitement! </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>If there is another season, I can't wait. Every day, I am irritated by the leaves closest to me. They all seem so unified and content to be where they are. They believe the tree about the seasons and how they change. I ask them how and why they just believe, but they don't have a logical answer, which makes me feel confused and alone. I am not like the other leaves. I am tired of the same colors around me, they rejoice in them. And I am bored of seeing the same patch of sky, they honor it. I want to see the sun and moon from a different place, it's like they don't wonder what else is out there. I just don't want to be here anymore. Plus, if I have to hear one more stupid joke about nuts from the leaf next to me, you know, the leaf who has a big brown spot on his face? I am going to go insane. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Every day I beg the tree to ask the sky for a nice breeze to take me away so I can get away from these chattering, quivering, petals. All they do is sing about the sunshine and praise the rain. And every day, the tree tells me to appreciate the season I am in, that one day things will be different. He says soon it will be cold and I will die and I will be wishing for the greener days that are upon me in the present. Hmphhh. Ok, tree. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>The other leaves call him the Giver of Life, which I suppose quite literally, he is. But he's also 300 years old. What does he know about being a leaf? He's a tree. He has roots that don't allow him to move. He is just stuck in his ways, the same way he is stuck in the ground. I want to fly! I want to fly far away from here! He doesn't know how I feel up here, stuck in this hell, stuck on a branch. A tree can't relate to a leaf, no matter how hard he tries. He says he knows what's best for me. And then I am annoyed. I want everyone to leave me alone while I wait. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i>I began to turn orange, which was exciting. I had never seen such vibrant, different colors. But it did not last long, just as the tree had said. One time he said youth is wasted on the young and I believed at the time that he was just mad at his bark because it was so wrinkly and course. But as the days started getting colder and colder, I too began to look brown and ugly and I began to understand the tree. It seemed as if the tree had been telling the truth about it all, but I was too proud to tell him. Instead, I told him I loved the color brown and that it suited me. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Then one night, the wind blew so hard, I heard a snap. Before I could register what was happening, I felt myself soaring through the air with the wind under my belly, which was lovely. But it did not last long. The wind had had enough and down I came, never to be carried by the wind again. I have been raked over and over again and blown from here to there with no power over myself. I miss the old tree. I miss the leaves who have all been scattered in the wind. I can't fly because I am dependent on a breeze and I have no branch to anchor me to safety. I am stuck. The old tree was right. I should have appreciated the green season. I should have appreciated the rain, feeling the wind on my face, and the sun and the moon. I should have believed that the season would one day change. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Youth is most definitely wasted on the young. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-76757502602270204402016-01-24T12:07:00.003-08:002016-01-24T12:19:35.618-08:00A Love Letter to Someone You Hate<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
My sister-in-law bought me this book for Christmas and I am
so excited to start pulling from it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’ve been lucky for the most part and rarely experience writer’s block
because I always seem to have something to say, even if it’s not important,
which is irritating or superfluous to others at times, I am sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But even though I am rarely at a loss for
words, I haven’t been writing at all and it’s because I have been reading a lot
at night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realize and have possibly
accepted (at least this month) that there is only enough time in my packed-full
days to choose between the two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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Laziness is so confusing to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, I realize that not everyone is the
same, but I do genuinely wonder how someone can stand being lazy when there are
thousands of things to do before you die and no matter how motivated and busy
and energetic you are, you still will never get to do them because of the time
constraint.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could live until I am 100
and still never come close to doing everything I ever want to do. This is
actually a huge issue and struggle for me and it’s part of my New Year’s
Resolution to try to just enjoy what I experience, choose between things
without guilt, focus, and stop being such a perfectionist all the time, so I am
sure I will be writing about it more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway, I thought it would be fun to choose one of these 642
things to write about today since I am snowed in and have already read two
books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first topic I chose was <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Write a
love letter to someone you hate.”</i> Muahahahaha!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Intriguing, except there is just one problem—I
don’t hate anyone, honestly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I dislike
some people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am indifferent with some
people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I don’t hate anyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So instead, I imagined what I would say if I
were someone I love and was
writing to the person who hurt them. I am usually more angry when someone I
love is hurt rather than if it happens to me anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So here’s what I came up with…..<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dear Incredibly
Talented Asshole,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It is amazing how
beautifully you have perfected your tendencies to be a selfish, indecent
person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to applaud your ability
to manipulate so meticulously, the will in which you must have in order to do
it, and the speed at which you are able to throw yourself into a complete state
of denial about how you make other people feel and how horrible your actions
are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really must get some tips on how
you sleep at night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ambien?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Melatonin?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Please share!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "wingdings"; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to tell you that I am in awe that
you can wake up and look at yourself in the mirror knowing what your motives are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is truly one of the wonders of the world
that no one has run over you with their car on purpose or by accident and
because of your existence, I am a firm believer that karma is not a real force
in the universe that you so blatantly shit on on the reg.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So thank you for clearing that up for me!!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Remember that time
that you thought you could make yourself feel better by making me feel like
nothing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to tell you that I am
thankful that you made me a better, stronger person and that in the end, I’ve
got nothing but love for the entire crappy experience I had with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you for being so despicable toward me that
not even the sneaky, lying, trickster we refer to as nostalgia, can distort my
memories of you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember all the times
that you left me not only high and dry, but also confused and crying and
scared?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember putting me through the
spin cycle?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you for every single
time that you hurt me and made me feel weak!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am stronger today!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I realize that I am
being a tad bit passive aggressive right now because I do have some emotion
left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have like .000009% craps to give
left in my pocket and I do honestly apologize for that .000009%.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this love letter is the last straw.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As soon as it’s mailed, I will never think of
the stupid, illogical points you always seem to make in an argument…with
EVERYONE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will never think about your
annoying hats that I disregarded because I truly loved you and because love is
as blind as Helen Keller was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I won’t
even remember the time you crapped your pants at Walmart and had to buy some $5
pants just to get home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I won’t think
about how much I hated when you said you read a book and in reality, you read
20 pages out of 300.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That isn’t reading
a book, just so you know. It’s super annoying to me. AND FOR THE RECORD….the
phrase is DENIAL IS NOT JUST A RIVER IN EGYPT.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>NOT THE NILE!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You sound like an
idiot and if you ever want a girlfriend, this should be corrected ASAP. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally, I want you to know that although I
will never again think of you and feel any kind of emotion simultaneously, I
will always have the strength that I gained from the marks you left on me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And for that, you will always be remembered,
Incredibly Talented Asshole.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">With Love,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Me.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">P.S.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And stop singing Oasis like Oasis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wonderwall doesn’t have to be
impersonated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></i>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></i>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></i>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></i></div>
Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-38174767396945433012015-12-18T10:57:00.001-08:002015-12-18T11:11:17.992-08:00Jingle Ball<div class="MsoNormal">
I had a panic attack at a Justin Beiber concert last
night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, I just said that. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I took my daughter and her friend because I love her very
much and I am accustomed to doing things that I don’t particularly like to do
because I want her to be happy and healthy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>All mothers who love their children are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I got fat when I was pregnant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
had a needle stuck in my spine and went through a scary surgery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I changed a thousand dirty diapers and wiped
snotty noses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went to a Beiber
concert.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a mother, you don’t think
twice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I kind of knew I wasn’t going to particularly enjoy a
concert that included Nick Jonas and like 5 other people I have never heard of,
but what I wasn’t expecting is that I would walk in and feel like I was going to
die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were very very high in Philip’s
arena and it dawned on me that I have only been in the box when I have gone to
Hawk’s games, so I had no idea what it felt like to be so high on such a steep
mountain of people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have never been
afraid of heights, but for whatever reason, this terrified me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started getting dizzy and nauseous and
couldn’t breathe and the show hadn’t even started.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was walking to my seat as if I were on the
edge of a cliff because it felt gravity was pulling me into the giant pit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was the only person sitting down and
looking like I was going to die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lindsey
had a great time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her friend had a great
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked really old and
miserable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7CjjGPYcRN0LUbyvV_vanssTuMLjNuXr4zHajt3ILZ2rhg3XfjRRefG75R4U8XCYRmJXwPn3fpfE8DL_oOeF9TO352fob-GHxdCp6ZzKMEDccnPDrvgcEClvR0wpF5XkM4Ax6AedIoCQ/s640/blogger-image-1948125134.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7CjjGPYcRN0LUbyvV_vanssTuMLjNuXr4zHajt3ILZ2rhg3XfjRRefG75R4U8XCYRmJXwPn3fpfE8DL_oOeF9TO352fob-GHxdCp6ZzKMEDccnPDrvgcEClvR0wpF5XkM4Ax6AedIoCQ/s640/blogger-image-1948125134.jpg"></a></div><br></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSW-IlripTaiqp4lq5J2yOwMr_xKu2kB3Um6MdgNWTNkKE8-PZCE_PCNsPNXMVtX_pLjKEwWvYBSMW2nhi8nWN39gztldBFeVW0jVxN85cXiJZ496SBH2bejAruA5qz_OG2wDHLPy8S-w/s640/blogger-image--439155995.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSW-IlripTaiqp4lq5J2yOwMr_xKu2kB3Um6MdgNWTNkKE8-PZCE_PCNsPNXMVtX_pLjKEwWvYBSMW2nhi8nWN39gztldBFeVW0jVxN85cXiJZ496SBH2bejAruA5qz_OG2wDHLPy8S-w/s640/blogger-image--439155995.jpg"></a></div><br></span></div>
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<br></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was 4 HOURS LONG, so by the time Beiber came on stage, I really
was ecstatic to see him because I knew it was almost over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I almost cheered for Beiber.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really almost did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I saw tons of alcohol being sold when I first walked into
the arena and I thought <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“That’s really
odd.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess the booze are sold for our
sanity?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Then I wondered how many
parents might be driving their kids home under the influence. But by the time
Beiber was on stage, I realized that adults WITHOUT children surrounded
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That fact really sunk in after the
older, dancing, drunken woman who was just above me slung her beer….all over my
head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To see Lindsey that happy and excited, even for just a moment in
her life, made the claustrophobia, the fear of falling, the loud, unrelenting
teenage shrieks, the bad music, the horrific lyrics, the beer....on my head....totally worth it. </div>
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Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-60120711429191813592015-12-08T04:59:00.000-08:002015-12-08T05:36:40.190-08:00Dusty Corners<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFhfoWJ0sW3sFTOXIEUHLNGgyWYfJiQFzqiIUi4KBVrlKEa0Qh40xCO9-xorua3vee2HVXxAzZEWJoMUbR_fNJHRIdQree6V6HiB8EvHgX_HHr5-3yacE-oKsW2q-7PAtEZrnoAzqf3tM/s1600/dusty-soul.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFhfoWJ0sW3sFTOXIEUHLNGgyWYfJiQFzqiIUi4KBVrlKEa0Qh40xCO9-xorua3vee2HVXxAzZEWJoMUbR_fNJHRIdQree6V6HiB8EvHgX_HHr5-3yacE-oKsW2q-7PAtEZrnoAzqf3tM/s320/dusty-soul.jpg" width="284"></a></div>
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I believe that the best gift you can give the people around you is having an understanding of who you are and loving yourself. I love the quote above but it made me think....<i>How can you have an appreciation for such a person if you don't know who the hell you are and what dustballs you're hiding? </i><o:p></o:p></div>
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What is the best version of me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s the best version of you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To me, it’s a person who understands and forgives, doesn’t give into old demons but instead conquers new adventures, breaks bad patterns, loves better, gives more, forgives, lets go, changes, always tries for the better, understands his or her motives and actions, and in some lovely way, feels free and loves others as if they are free too. I have believed all of this for a long time and genuinely have tried getting “there” (as if it’s a final destination, haha) on my own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have always attempted to be self-reflective, to grow and be aware and although I have failed miserably at times, I have tried nevertheless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Writing is amazing for the soul and it’s huge for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish everyone would give it a whirl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It allows you to get things out that you don’t know are trapped inside of you and you do, without a doubt, grow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, I have grown to the point that sometimes I cringe when I see things I have written over the years. Even with writing to cleanse my soul though, I hit walls almost a year ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hadn’t realized it but I had built walls over time around myself thinking it would ensure a different path, but when you lock yourself in a box and that box is there to serve as a source of protection, you don’t go down any path at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are caged. And most of the time, you end up repeating your past anyway within that cage by having a false sense of security.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Anyway, </span>I started feeling like I was damned if I do, damned if I don’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I haven’t divulged any of this because it’s so personal, but Merry Christmas! Here is the best advice I can give you this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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An amazing person who has become one of my best friends found herself in my little trust circle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I described some of the baggage I felt I was carrying around and she recommended an amazing counselor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a tendency to be aware and analyze to the point that I think I can conquer things mentally, but then when things still haven’t totally fit, I have been perplexed by myself. I decided an outside observer might be helpful, an observer who has studied human behavior and understands the brain. I have been to counseling before but I never felt like they pushed me and quite honestly, I felt like I was smart enough to outsmart them, which is silly because why are you going if not to transform and dig at your baggage? I only gave them enough to give me a little bit of relief, but I never allowed myself to be vulnerable to the point that I would say things that would terrify and upset me and make me feel unhinged. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if something <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">did </i>hit a nerve with past counselors, I knew to just not bring that up again or I wouldn’t go back at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This time it was different because I got to the point that I knew I couldn’t slap a Band-Aid on it anymore and so I made a commitment to go every week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Last March, my dad got sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That coupled with some other feelings I was having at the time kind of created a perfect storm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I eventually figured out that his sickness was triggering some of the other feelings I was having.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I went in and said, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“These are the things I need help with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to understand my patterns, coping mechanisms, and I either want to get over something, grow out of it, or learn to cope with it. (This was one issue in particular.)”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was so specific about my agenda that I laugh about it now because although it was helpful that I had such specific reasons for going, the turns I have taken and reasons I have cried, the ways I have changed, gotten stronger, become more aware and gotten to know myself are so…I don’t have words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I highly recommend taking that leap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will hit a point where you won’t want to go back, and<b> that’s exactly when you should go back. </b><o:p></o:p></div>
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Below are some things that counseling is teaching me to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These tools will help you anywhere whether it’s work, with your kids, your friends, but <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">especially</i> in a romantic relationship because let's face it, that's usually the person closest to you, ideally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot of people think counseling is stupid or that you are self-absorbed by going, but you won’t be so self-absorbed with other people if you are less twisted in your own messy baggage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if you are single, the best thing you can give your future spouse is a clear understanding of who you are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will pick a partner better if you can learn to do all of this and learn who you are….<o:p></o:p></div>
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I have learned…<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">To be aware. </b>I am more aware of what I am feeling and thinking and why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I try to pay attention when I am stuffing my feelings or “analyzing” them to the point that I have a false sense of security. </div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Sometimes forgiveness isn't enough to let go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>I always thought that forgiving everyone who has hurt me was enough to move on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I realized that it’s almost impossible to completely let go of what someone has done to you when you keep letting it dictate what you do in the future, even if you don’t hate or resent them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, let’s say you have forgiven your father for making you assume the role of the adult, but then you surround yourself by people that always end up making you the “caretaker” because you know how to do it and you are comfortable in the role, if you continue to find yourself in the same situation with other people, your past is still your present and you are carrying it around regardless of whether you've forgiven anyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have carried my baggage around not because I haven’t forgiven people, but because I keep finding myself in similar scenarios.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s odd, but sometimes you find yourself comfortable with the things that you agonize over and that keep you tied up, but only because it’s familiar, not because it’s healthy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have found more peace with those who have hurt me not because I like them anymore or hate them less, or anything like that…it’s because I am learning to expel similar situations from existing presently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When I am uncomfortable, I ask myself why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>You know how if you aren’t scared to do something, you aren’t really being brave by doing it? That’s what this is like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am learning to be brave when I am uncomfortable by sitting with it and asking myself why I am uncomfortable, rather than sticking my head in the sand.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When something feels comfortable, I ask myself why.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Am I comfortable because it’s truly good for me or the person is good for me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or am I just staying in an old, unhealthy pattern because it feels more natural? Am I afraid of something that feels <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">uncomfortable</i> because it’s new and better for me? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I pick up on patterns more easily.</b> I cannot emphasize how important it is to examine your patterns. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I have triggers that make me react the same way that I did when I was a child. </b>Certain things make me react a certain way. It is important to know what sets you off and WHY.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ask myself why and then I try to cope in a healthy way, versus one that will only hurt me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The child version of myself is still very present.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The things I am truly afraid to let myself feel today all started when I was a child and I have begun to understand why those things feel like mountains as an adult. In fact, I have remembered things I had either forgotten about or repressed...yeah THAT was awesome. Not. You only repress the stuff that sucks. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">That I deserve better. </b>If you picture yourself as a child, what would you want for her or him?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s easy to say what you would want for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">your </i>child, but often we love our children more than we love ourselves…at least I do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I started to picture myself as an innocent child, I forgave her for the mistakes she made as a teenager and adult and I wanted to hug her and protect her and tell her to let go of all that was holding her back. We were all innocent kids at one point and we need to remember that we are worthy of being treated well and being loved like we would want our child to be treated and loved…no matter what decisions we have made or what's been done to us thus far. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">To be gentler on myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>I am a perfectionist. I am too hard on myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I strive for a lot and wear myself out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have always felt like a whiner if I am not tough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone used to tell me when I was a little girl to “suck it up” when I cried, so I did. And although being positive and smiley is great, it's those people who sometimes suffer silently and don't let on that they need help. Well, I have learned to cry without getting a giant ball of fire in my throat from holding it back and I am learning that it's ok to mess up sometimes. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Figure out what you want for yourself, what's keeping you from having it, and start working on it. </b>I have a plan that is both firm and bendy. I think one way to say this is that I'm learning to set up healthy boundaries. I know what I want, but I'm also open to more than I was a year ago. Ask yourself the questions that will change your life....and then get through the painful stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will be bound up until you do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I have a lot of shit together in my life, but I also have those “dusty corners” and the reason I went to counseling is so they wouldn’t haunt me anymore. Sweeping the corners sucks sometimes, but you find more peace looking over and seeing them clean from time to time rather than watching them get dirtier and dirtier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t write about soul mates today, but I truly believe that to love someone else’s soul, you must first love and understand your own-that's why I said at the beginning of this post, the best version of yourself is the best gift you can give someone else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br></span></div>
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I hope if you are reading and feel like you need to get a broom out that this will be the year you do that for yourself. It is truly worth every tear, dollar, and minute. </div>
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Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-56410910381073299362015-12-07T07:46:00.000-08:002015-12-07T12:03:55.330-08:00Hail Mary (because she was human)<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjLN9sMV1TrDwz2w8vEdR2FNQ3iHDowYQYPwwstXqE3InkilWN5e9rTjvTTRDy5TgX6FCsnDY7u1vy_z0j1T95JKinYFJ7kJjerZzsLKSixFXfskTSfa9q8fT4xlCAr-wc6pLTirdLRGE/s1600/feee8af6e1f655cf0dcbc6c6754dd5fa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjLN9sMV1TrDwz2w8vEdR2FNQ3iHDowYQYPwwstXqE3InkilWN5e9rTjvTTRDy5TgX6FCsnDY7u1vy_z0j1T95JKinYFJ7kJjerZzsLKSixFXfskTSfa9q8fT4xlCAr-wc6pLTirdLRGE/s1600/feee8af6e1f655cf0dcbc6c6754dd5fa.jpg"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In some ways, just a mommy and her baby</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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I don't like what Christmas has become and yet I am guilty of doing what a lot of people do...I focus on buying presents, I watch <i>Elf</i> and <i>Christmas Vacation</i>, make cookies with the kids...and all of this is fine but it's completely useless if you don't remember, as they say, <i>The Reason for the Season. </i>I guess this is one way I am reflecting....</div>
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I remember being surrounded by the Virgin Mary as a small
Catholic schoolgirl. I remember learning
how to pray on my rosary, reciting <i>“Hail
Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with
thee. Blessed are thou amongst women and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of
our death….” </i>over and over and over and yet I didn’t see her as human. She was Jesus's mother, she was a virgin (and therefore in my mind she was perfect) and we thanked and respected her for having him. </div>
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I realize that I will probably say nothing groundbreaking here to anyone else, but have you ever found something to be so engrained in you that you fail to truly think about it on your own and then when you do, you think <i>"Why didn't I see that before? DUH!!?"</i> That's how I feel some of the things I learned growing up in Catholic school, particularly about Mary. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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I was in Milwaukee for Christmas when I was 20.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt crappy because I was
pregnant and under stress; I had just found out I was
having twins and felt very much alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
was resting on the couch and <i>Breath of Heaven</i> started playing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mother played this Christmas album
every year since it had come out, but this one time in particular, I started crying. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">There were people who wanted me to have an abortion or give the kids up for adoption and I remember fighting and fighting and wanting to scratch and claw those particular people for suggesting that I do something I didn't want to do. They were not just suggesting things, they were vicious toward me and I couldn't believe it. I already loved my kids even though I was terrified and I hated these people for pressuring me and telling me that I could not raise them. Anyway, I was on the couch listening to this song and I thought <i>"Mary did it. I will trust God too." </i>I am not suggesting that I thought I was as special as Mary, but I did realize that God intended me to trust him just the same as she did. And so I did. And I told everyone who attacked me that I would prove them wrong....then I was quiet and did just that. I never said even one nasty word to them. I just concentrated on being a good mother and I knew they would eat their words. </span><br>
<br>
All
of those Hail Marys I had recited mindlessly and it had never dawned on me to think of Mary as just a girl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How faithful and obedient
does a woman have to be to know she was going to go through the worst agony
imaginable…losing a child?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know how
much I love my children and I can’t imagine knowing at their birth that I would
someday lose them—not only lose them, but lose them brutally and unjustly. Even if the plan was beyond imaginable and the purpose was to shed grace upon literally everyone I knew, I can't imagine the pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think everyone assumes that because Mary
had an understanding of what God’s plan was and because she was faithful to God that it
somehow that made it easier on her, but I am not sure that in those hours of
sadness and fear that it made it any more unpleasant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was human just like us and she had to be strong, like we all have to be from time to time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She was also just a mommy. She picked her son up when he fell, snuggled him and nursed him. He loved her and kissed her back, all the while knowing he would be gone one
day. Then she had to watch him suffer and die that day. I guess I am happy that there are some things that a 10-year-old girl cannot possibly understand. </div>
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Here is the song I am referring to. I think the piano gets me as much as the words do....<br>
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Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-20343821322088495422015-12-02T12:05:00.001-08:002015-12-02T12:15:35.091-08:00Trust the Girls Who Trust<div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii6M4-a7cEUuaGUfaXQ8D04lCISetArWIR8-r4v9avNvBCWtFe9aMhiOqWEpo8suPzTi9nt2IIynzJmr9_wKxYJPP7A4IsD2ZZYshcUG8XB3SWGjVkm1uEdnYrzJFCbySMI7fzoD0mtVw/s640/blogger-image--569974009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii6M4-a7cEUuaGUfaXQ8D04lCISetArWIR8-r4v9avNvBCWtFe9aMhiOqWEpo8suPzTi9nt2IIynzJmr9_wKxYJPP7A4IsD2ZZYshcUG8XB3SWGjVkm1uEdnYrzJFCbySMI7fzoD0mtVw/s640/blogger-image--569974009.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br></div><div class="MsoNormal">
A couple days ago, one of my male friends found himself in a
situation with his girlfriend and it’s prompted me to explain something about
girls like me…that is, girls who blindly trust and love in relationships. (Obviously this goes for men too, but since I
am a female, I am speaking from my point of view.)</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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The friend I am referring to is a great guy and he is
totally in love, yet he lied about something that was totally innocent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said the reason he lied is because he was
trying to protect her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BIG MISTAKE,
guys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He overthought it because he
figured she would get mad or hurt her or worry and that’s not fair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Long story short, she was hurt because he
lied and didn’t trust her to trust him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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GUYS, LISTEN UP!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There are girls out there who truly want the truth, who won’t get mad,
who will trust you blindly, who will put their hearts into your hand, who are
secure, who believe you when you say you will never hurt us, who don’t get
jealous, who will protect you and accept you for who you truly are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I say this from experience…I have witnessed
guys lie about stupid things because they are afraid of making their
girlfriends mad (of course this has happened to me personally) and it’s really
such a slap in the face to that girl who has completely trusted you and
believed in you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It hurts our feelings
that you don’t think we can handle the truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!!</i></b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sorry, I had to say that like Jack Nicholson.) <o:p></o:p></div>
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I know that a lot of guys just think we are all crazy and
this really irritates me, so here is what it’s like to walk around in a
trusting girl’s brain who really is pretty freaking cool with who you are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t mess things up with a girl who believes
the following…..<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">*Just a note, this is
literally a random walk through my brain, so sorry if you get whiplash.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>My Thoughts on Why
Being Single Forever Beats Faking It<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
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I love true love and not the Disney kind but the Corinthians
kind; the kind that can wrap around a person no matter what they have done, who
they have been, what they look like, how much money they make, and what they
say, do, or feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also love trust, the
kind that cries and hurts when it’s doubted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My idea of what a romantic relationship looks like is very, very hard to
find, but I know it has to exist because I figure if I have loved and trusted
someone blindly, then someone else out there is also capable of loving me that
way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I won’t entertain anything else
because I don’t believe it’s possible to love without trust and why be in a
relationship without being loved for who you really are?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Basically, it boils down to this:<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you know yourself and know that you are honest in
relationships, if someone can’t trust you, you can no longer trust them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they can’t trust you, then that means they
don’t know you and if they don’t know you, they can’t possibly love you and at
that point, there is no point of being in a relationship where the person is in
love with a person who is not at all you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Not that complicated, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Ok, so maybe I made it complicated, but it’s really very simple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>My Thoughts on Why
People Lie<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
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I think most people would agree that what I described above
is ideal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So why do people lie?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it boils down to only 4 reasons….<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">People
don’t like to be nagged and yelled at.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If this is happening, then are you really in a real relationship or is
it a dictatorship? And if your actions are wrong and the person has a reason to
be upset, then either get your shit together or get out and do whatever you
want as a free person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Either way, I just
don’t understand being in a situation where you are not willing to have the
conversation and where two people can’t be honest. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">People
don’t trust the person they are with to love them unconditionally regardless of
what they are doing, saying, thinking, or feeling.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is really scary to tell the truth and be
yourself sometimes because there is always the fear that we will lose what we
have or we won’t be loved back for who we are, but you save a lot of time and
issues if you can just be honest and be adults.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">You are
doing something that you wouldn’t want your significant other to be doing, or
you are not sure that you would trust or approve of the situation.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you feel weird doing something, ask
yourself why. The Golden Rule is not complicated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you aren’t sure if he or she would like
it, why not just ask them? If you have a conscience about it, where is that
coming from? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The
person is legitimately doing something shady.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why are you in a relationship again?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is called having your cake and eating it
too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are just an asshole, man.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>My Thoughts on
Being Straight Up and Being Real<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
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<br></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Hold out.</b>
Because I don’t feel like I have to be with someone to make me happy and I know
I don’t have to be bothered with things that irritate me, I often look around
at people in relationships where trust clearly isn’t there and I wonder why
they bother when they don’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">have </i>to
live that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This isn’t meant to sound
judgmental, it’s more that I am making an observation from the other side,
meaning, I have been in relationships where trust either never existed or was
abused and eventually lost and then I later asked myself why I was ever in that
situation to begin with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It sucks being
in that situation. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Say no to
the crap.</b> I have always been an open book with the opposite sex and it
hasn’t always been the smartest thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
always assumed that if I were honest, the guy would also be honest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, that’s not always the case because
it’s hard to find someone honest and people are freaking shady.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you
are honest, you deserve honesty in return.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Tell the
truth.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tell the truth and ride it
out. I don’t understand people who get mad at you for telling the truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Isn’t a lie worse? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>My Thoughts on
Technology<o:p></o:p></u></b></div>
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People who are going to cheat are going to cheat regardless of
technology and living in a bubble is just not feasible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I understand that smart phones and apps and
email and texts cause problems, but are they really the problem? Or are they
just exposing problems that already exist?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I look at it this way….<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Everyone
should have a lock on his or her phone.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You are an idiot if you don’t; it doesn’t make you shady, it makes you
smart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All it takes is one drunken night
where you leave your phone at the bar and BOOM, your pictures, bank information,
contacts, emails, are vulnerable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I don’t
have to give a man my passcode.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BUT,
I will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BUT if
I give you my passcode and you check</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">on
me…</b> I am done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Relationship over.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b>You don’t trust me, therefore you don’t
know me, and so you may as well waste someone else’s time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">If you
give me your passcode, I will never check.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And if I do, I am done and you should be too. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I just don’t know why that’s so complicated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why is it so terrible to trust blindly?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If someone cheats on you or lies to you, you
are going to find out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why do people
ruin things with preventative measures that don’t prevent anything at all, especially
the inevitable?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Blaming social media and
technology instead of a cheater is like blaming a gun instead of the
psycho.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">My Thoughts on Why I
Believe All of This<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
There is nothing more infuriating than not being trusted
when you are honest and there is nothing more hurtful than being lied to when
you have been brave and real and gone out on a limb.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dishonesty and distrust ruins relationships. I
have experienced the most stifling, awful relationships and also absolute
freedom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would be awesome to be "allowed" to be or accepted as the same person in a relationship. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">My Thoughts on the
Guys Who Don’t Believe We Exist<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stupid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Should kick themselves in the asses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Don't lose a girl like this!</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br></div>
Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-66990611641514647062015-10-20T06:39:00.003-07:002015-10-20T07:02:34.691-07:00The Idea of Copy<div class="MsoNormal">
I have wanted to sit down and listen to Ryan Adam’s
re-recording of Taylor Swift’s 1989 in its entirety and at 4 am thanks to insomnia, I got my chance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, you don’t have to like either one of
them to appreciate what I have to say, or you can like them both and hate what
I say and that’s fine too; what I found most interesting about his
re-recordings was his perspective and of course, the people hating on both of
them for the project altogether.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This got me thinking about the idea of copy on a scale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ryan Adams taking every word and making
something new is at one end of the spectrum, John Lennon observing violence,
wanting peace and writing “Imagine” would be on the other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I see a lot of people do things simply to be unique and
different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They reject things because
they aren’t unique enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They want to
do something weird simply because they want to be different. And ironically,
they become a group of people who are nothing unique and are all like each
other. I guess I am wise enough at this age to know that if you simply like
what you like and do what you want, you’re still not going to be the only
person on earth to like what you like and do what you want….but you’ll be a
true version of yourself and isn’t that the goal?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think that when people are uncomfortable with
re-recordings, remakes, and the idea that everything is inspired by something,
there are a couple of reasons why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First
of all, your medial pre-frontal cortex is actually tied to your music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We simply become attached to the original and
have our own love affair and experience with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why would we want someone ruining that
experience and relationship?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you
fall in love with a song, your senses are tied to it forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ask any girl in her 30’s how she feels about
a remake of Dirty Dancing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She will have
the same kneejerk reaction, which is to feel as if a remake will magically change
the first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Secondly, intellectually, the
idea of copy is just uncomfortable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
know for me, especially as a writer, when I sit in a movie theatre and see
nothing but a string of trailers for movies that already exist, I get
upset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Have
people just run out of ideas?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is there
nothing that hasn’t been done?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No story
that hasn’t been told? Why are these people working as writers?”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those thoughts are very stifling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s also not a very rational one to think
that just because copy exists that nothing new does. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The older I have gotten and the more I understand the world,
the more I appreciate the process of creation, and that’s taking something,
anything, and having a new perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That makes the idea of <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“copy” a
little more tolerable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I still don’t
want them to remake Dirty Dancing.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everything that is created originally <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is </i>in fact inspired by something else, be it a historical event, a
place, a song, a feeling, the weather, a person….it’s a concoction, a storm,
smatterings that come together to create a unique<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Even<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> feelings </i>are not unique,
and thank God they aren’t or we would all feel alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Certain songs resonate with us, art, books,
and that’s because there is something familiar about it, something that exists
in it that also exists within us, which means it isn’t completely
original.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The way it was created is what
is original, and the twists and turns that it took to end up whatever it did,
like something would in a chemistry lab.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember writing a poem in yoga about a year ago (and what
I mean by writing is that I had thoughts bouncing around in my head and they
came together in a way that I could take home with me and then put on paper; I
wasn’t literally writing on paper in Down Dog.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is only one Brittany
Chenault.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was thinking something that
led to something that led to something that led to something and I have no
evidence that anyone has thought these thoughts in the exact order that I had
them in the history of the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I used
a vocabulary of words that I did not invent, but I placed them in an order that
no one had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have had feelings that
other people have also felt, but have never described them in the exact way I
did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yet people read it and knew
EXACTLY how I felt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Does the fact that everyone can identify with what you say,
do, sing, or write take away from the originality of creating it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So in reality, are we too easily offended by
the idea that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">we are not original</i>,
and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nothing in the world is original</i>,
and missing the fact that the only originality that truly exists is our
experience with copy?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is
so much more in the world to enjoy when you truly understand the idea of a muse
or inspiration, or feeding off your senses and feelings and people around
you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Listen to the link below.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Then go listen to Taylor's. </span>The comparison of something identical doesn't actually make me feel like the world is getting smaller, it actually makes me feel like the world is
huge, that the spectrum is infinite, and it brings me to my knees when I think
about how God gave us art.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can simply
never get bored if we appreciate what’s been given to us….the process of
creativity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Ryan Adam’s “I Wish
You Would”<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wvrFyukGGI" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wvrFyukGGI</a></div>
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<o:p><br></o:p></div>
Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-15856372382503695382015-09-10T07:01:00.001-07:002015-09-10T07:10:57.789-07:00Chill, Don't Chase<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Won-6Zx1LO5xKMy5UwwhDn7DmObGr0QHUdn4dej-H2TPTsc5VIeCfLjaD7q3fO6MzM5eV5oE2W2rTDF5Jwqb6EdEl9KN5l0OxIWAuiRPwSuPuoghtjJ9Tj4qNwr24vddFlAsLxAL_2c/s1600/tiny_toon_adventures_s01e03_the_wheel_o_comedy_dvdrip_xvid-saints.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Won-6Zx1LO5xKMy5UwwhDn7DmObGr0QHUdn4dej-H2TPTsc5VIeCfLjaD7q3fO6MzM5eV5oE2W2rTDF5Jwqb6EdEl9KN5l0OxIWAuiRPwSuPuoghtjJ9Tj4qNwr24vddFlAsLxAL_2c/s1600/tiny_toon_adventures_s01e03_the_wheel_o_comedy_dvdrip_xvid-saints.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't be this girl</td></tr>
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<br /></div>
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I have been advising one of my friends lately about a guy
she likes and it’s sparked me to write this because I think a lot of women
could benefit from this advice, even though they have heard about it over and
over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> (Myself included.) </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“He’s just not that into you”</i> is not a groundbreaking concept and yet
we sometimes refuse to accept how simple it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We want to give men the benefit of the doubt when we start talking to
them but it’s really such a stupid thing to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You can avoid a lot of problems and save a lot of time by avoiding men
that aren’t interested from the get-go, but you have to do it early before
you’re hooked, in the palm of their hands, and wind up with a broken heart. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is a simple rule:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Don’t chase </b><b>men</b>,
plain and simple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Men are easy to figure out for the most part.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they aren’t texting you, move on because
there is a reason they aren’t texting you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It doesn’t matter what the reason is because it doesn’t concern you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they aren’t trying to see you, move
on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It doesn’t matter why they aren’t
trying because it’s none of your business and it doesn’t measure your
worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they want to see you but only
if you come to them, move on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Screw
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, really???<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are expected to use YOUR gas money, rearrange
YOUR schedule, go out of YOUR way…for what, a lazy little boy who can’t even
commit to dinner???<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they aren’t taking you out or calling you,
move on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their actions are telling you
what the end result will be and it will not end in your favor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The guy could have 100 real reasons for
stringing you along, but why do any of them matter to you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do the “reasons” change anything?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
because there are so many girls doing the chasing nowadays, if they are lazy
and spoiled, they have options that make it easy for them to never have to hunt
or do anything and you are simply too difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know about you,
but I am <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not </i>a slab of meat plopped
in front of a zoo lion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a lion
running in the wild and I would rather be difficult than plop in front of someone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Too much work?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sorry about your luck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And regarding the ones who are willing to hunt you, well,
congratulations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You found a man and in
one swift move, you managed to separate him from the boys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ask any man and he will tell you the following:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If a guy wants to see you, he will find a way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even men who know they don’t have a SHOT IN
HELL will usually try.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember, this is
the same gender that shouts at you from their cars in traffic and from gas
stations and construction sites so why are we so willing to give them excuses
when it favors what we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">want </i>to
believe?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If a guy is thinking about you,
he’s texting and calling you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If a guy
wants to commit, he is going to commit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If he is interested, he will show you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If he doesn’t want someone else to have you, he won’t leave you alone
and available.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is no other
explanation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if you are seeing him
but you have to do all of the work, reevaluate that situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> You are a perfectly convenient situation for the present time. It doesn't mean you will change him. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Men also prefer a challenge, unless they're losers or lazy pieces of crap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are hunters and they don’t want something that falls into their lap. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Neither do I, actually, so I understand the
feeling.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we could all behave the same way with the guys we like as the ones we don’t, we would be a
lot better off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember this<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>before you send that text because he
ignored your last one! Ask yourself "Would I be inclined to do this with<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> (insert the guy you don’t like)</i>?"<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been in one situation where I had to do everything
and it did not end well, nor was it like me at all to alter myself to that
degree, nor was it a good reflection of me, and I can guarantee that it will
never happen again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stick to this
philosophy and if you are vigilant and love yourself and value your time and your heart and your efforts, I promise that it will
help to keep the lazy, confused, wishy-washy assholes out of your life…also, it's exhausting chasing little boys, isn't it? Pointless and exhausting!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here are the rules:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Chill, don't chase. Just calm down and let him come to you. If he doesn't, you got your answer. </span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Do not text or call him when he is random,
spacey, disappears, and then comes back around when he feel like it. </span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Set your own terms. </span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Do not rearrange your schedule at the drop of
a hat when he does nothing to plan ahead. </span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Don't ask him out and constantly run around like a crazy person trying to see him. </span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Don't put in the effort when he is not. </span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Put it out there and see what he does...and listen to what he says. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A guy once said to me “I don’t chase, you'll have to chase me.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My answer was “Then I guess we won’t be seeing much of each
other.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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It’s legit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Try it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/piGl_Vfcfi4/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/piGl_Vfcfi4?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piGl_Vfcfi4</span></div>
Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-65624715271934913262015-09-02T17:11:00.001-07:002015-09-02T17:17:29.076-07:00Karma Fell Asleep <div class="MsoNormal">
Yesterday morning I was driving down a long, somewhat
country road and I saw a cop hiding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> I do realize it’s illegal to warn people that there is a cop by flashing your headlights, but you are also talking to a girl whose insurance just went from $92 to
$204 a month because of one stupid speeding ticket received in ATLANTA, where
everyone speeds all the time anyway and honestly, I can’t even talk about it
because I GET SO MAD! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t even get
points on my license!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not like I
got a DUI.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got a speeding ticket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But on with my story….I warned everyone about the cop hiding in the distance behind me and I reached my
destination. I had to pick something up, so it literally took 30 seconds, and I turned
around and went the way I came.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew that the
cop was there, so I was going the speed limit, of course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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This guy came up behind me and was riding my bumper and
honking at me because I wouldn’t speed up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He was seriously maybe a foot away from touching my car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t even step on my brakes to make a
point or he would have hit me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I sped up a little and did what anyone who wanted to see an asshole pay for being an asshole would have done....</span>I pulled over on the side of the road and let him pass me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Ha ha ha ha haaaaaa! </div>
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<br />
Unfortunately he didn't get pulled over because he pulled into the neighborhood right in front of the cop. I was totally bummed that my schemes didn't work, but I am even more bummed that my story was totally ruined. </div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-22515339254307702752015-08-28T07:25:00.002-07:002015-08-28T07:37:15.153-07:00My Heart, The Dumbass<div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMTCy7rp6N7Y7aCiY_pJh2cUyPJ85UpTMDozudNSPrpDwgZwpyLz0d2znPC4Tj572nM7iPL3K8tKIFKO4uUimrRhzIcZZy7urDNqOtNmQW5OhFB3a5_bJDzicGIWgVSPQbD23rV_MF9nI/s640/blogger-image-2068909397.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMTCy7rp6N7Y7aCiY_pJh2cUyPJ85UpTMDozudNSPrpDwgZwpyLz0d2znPC4Tj572nM7iPL3K8tKIFKO4uUimrRhzIcZZy7urDNqOtNmQW5OhFB3a5_bJDzicGIWgVSPQbD23rV_MF9nI/s640/blogger-image-2068909397.jpg" /></a></div>
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Nora Ephron once said that the worst cynics are actually the worst romantics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In order to become so
scarred or disappointed or burned, you had to have believed wholeheartedly in
something to begin with, maybe more so than others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am one of
those people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Hopeless. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I am a cynic because my brain knows better. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I am a romantic because my heart is a wild little thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And my heart wins every time because she is a dumbass.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Last night one of my guy friends told me that he really
likes someone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He hasn’t liked a girl in
about 4 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one has inspired these
feelings and every day has been like Groundhog Day (I reminded him that Groundhog Day is way worse than heartache) but he’s still very
scared he will get hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He asked me if the
possibility of getting hurt is worth it. My brain hated my answer when my heart answered "<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hell Yeah."</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> And she went on. <i>"</i></span><i>Every moment you spend skin to skin with
someone you’re crazy about is worth every tear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because being in love freakin’ rocks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Am I wrong?" </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Who doesn’t love a little love
coke? <o:p></o:p></div>
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One butterfly in your stomach is worth the risk of
tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone holding your heart in
their hands for a period of time is so much more interesting than guarding it
yourself in a cage for all of eternity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being
on a windy beach at night, curled into someone who smells perfect to you,
getting your hair caught in your lip gloss and not caring….I mean, is there a
question of whether you go with it or not? No, of course not. Shut up, brain. <o:p></o:p><br />
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My poker face isn't nearly as cute as the one who is lost and in love and my heart is so much more charming than my brain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Isn’t yours?</div>
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Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-74019012911213810592015-08-17T00:28:00.001-07:002015-08-17T00:42:01.694-07:0035I turned 35 on the 5th and I was going to write about it, but I honestly didn't want it to be a thing. But it's a thing. I don't want it to be a thing, but waking up in the middle of the night thinking about your life and what you're doing and where you're going simply because you're a certain number, that's what I call a thing.<div><br></div><div>In some ways I would say I'm more childish now that I don't have to constantly pretend to be an adult like when I was younger. But then again, I'm so much wiser now than I ever was and that part really can't be faked because I had to live through a lot to get here. <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">That part makes me feel 35. </span></div><div><br></div><div>I look at my kids, the ones in high school, the ones who are causing me all of these issues in the middle of the night, and I just don't understand how I'm here with them. I feel like I was such a child when I had them but at some point while I was pretending to be an adult, I actually became one. Now all of a sudden, I <i>do </i>know better than they know and they roll their eyes at me and curse my existence as an "old person." And my babies, Carson and Dylan, how can they be old enough that I can say "I don't have babies anymore?" How can that part of my life be over? And how can I be old enough to not be able to donate my eggs to someone else in need? That's f***ed up. </div><div><br></div><div>I'm fine alone. I like being alone. Maybe it's because I have so many kids. But how could I have experienced so much chaos in my life already that I'm rejecting the idea of a man coming into it<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">? How can I be old enough to be scarred in so many ways romantically, to the point that I know I'm better off by myself? And then know that the statement I just made is BS but kind of not? How can I be old enough to be that cynical and so stingy with my time? Did I really experience enough heartbreak and become annoyed enough over the years that I can never experience loneliness because being alone is the better option of the two? Apparently, because I don't. How can I be old enough to sit in a quiet space, alone, and not feel alone? I must have traveled quite a road....and I am old enough to have done it now. That's f***ed up. </span></div><div><br></div><div>I was telling my younger cousin a couple of weeks ago that I feel like this is the first time in my life where I'm just maintaining and improving where I am and it's weird. I told her I was kind of feeling weird about turning 35 and how I knew at 45, I would say <i>"why was I upset about being 35?" </i>But that it doesn't matter because I <i>am </i>35....she asked me why I would be upset about it since I have accomplished so much. Well, I did ask myself that question. Do you always think about all of the other things you were going to do and didn't, regardless of what you've accomplished? I can say, I've never been at a place in my life where I feel like my milestones no longer have to do with me, but they're about my kids because I've never been this age and had children so old, which sounds so simplistic but doesn't feel it. And that's great. I will enjoy watching my kids experience life, but how am I not working toward those things myself now? How did this happen? You know, like I'm not earning a degree because I got mine. Or having babies, because I had 4. Or getting married, because that's another story. It's just an odd feeling knowing that the next time I visit a college campus, it'll be for my kids.....in 4 years. That's f***ed up. </div><div><br></div><div>I still have a lot of child in me. The silly spirit that I'm not trying to hide by parading around as an adult is even more apparent to me now....so again, why am I waking up thinking about this number? That's f***ed up. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-9599373502851662272015-08-14T11:36:00.001-07:002015-08-14T11:54:57.581-07:0010 Things To Know Before You Date a Writer<div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSH3z91OsEfqEEBDMys0mwAdDAWTUIzyuNdLqt5qiEsOWBRJwhcyqGj5rHvTogZvKwE-dR7UW0k6TCOIOgT5mCISwVj_kfLO0lfihXk8JHkDv6PASMjtK_fxW_yT60aIyB6sMKzDzPy4E/s1600/heart_book.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSH3z91OsEfqEEBDMys0mwAdDAWTUIzyuNdLqt5qiEsOWBRJwhcyqGj5rHvTogZvKwE-dR7UW0k6TCOIOgT5mCISwVj_kfLO0lfihXk8JHkDv6PASMjtK_fxW_yT60aIyB6sMKzDzPy4E/s320/heart_book.jpg" width="320"></a></div>
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Someone once said that if a writer doesn’t write about you,
they aren’t in love with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Additionally, if a writer falls in
love with you, you can never die.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also
true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t publish my poetry (usually) and I don’t publish my
fiction and the reason why I don’t is very simple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s because I can’t sit down and finish any
of it because I jump all over the place between projects.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">SQUIRREL!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only things that I have published officially
have been my blogs and news stories for newspapers when I was younger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because I don’t slap FICTION on what I <i>do</i>
publish, the result is that most of it is extremely personal and is no doubt
like a window into my soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if what
I write about myself isn’t a true reflection of who I am because I am too hard
on myself, too easy on myself, because it’s simply how I am feeling in the
moment or because I am working through a phase, even if what I write isn’t how
others see me, it’s always a true reflection of how I am feeling, regardless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have always wondered how the person on the
other end of my feelings feels when I write and I am sure that it depends on
what I am saying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be the one who
inspired me to feel deeply enough to write and then share can’t be an easy
place to be. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But it’s forever a special place to be, nevertheless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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When I was in high school, a boy wrote a song about my green
eyes and I freaked out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to
crawl into a hole, not because I wasn’t flattered and not because it wasn’t
good, but it was because I knew what he was feeling and I wasn’t sure that I
wanted to inspire him in that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On another
occasion, I read a poem that described me and rather than it feeding my ego, I
was unnerved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am used to being the
observer. I am comfortable seeing art, not being the subject.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I have never dated a writer, probably because I know what we
are like and although we might not all be this way, the creative writers I have known and the ones who taught me in school, well, read on.....here is my list of reasons
that you <s>shouldn’t</s> should date one at least once.....<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 38.75pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">They
will write about you. </b><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">It's nothing personal. It's just not avoidable. Don't date one if you can't handle it. And if you get off on it, then you're a keeper. </span>We feed off the people around us, especially
our romantic relationships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes a
character is based on a stranger on a bus, but our deeper connections will
always be reflected in our work whether it’s fiction or nonfiction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you don’t inspire us, there is something
truly wrong and the connection isn’t there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 38.75pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">We
want you to read what we write.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>You
don’t have to like it, but good or bad, we want you to read our stuff because
it’s who we are. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you don’t read what
we write, we internalize that and can't understand it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 38.75pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">We
will observe you in beautiful ways that no one else can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>When you wake up in the morning with your
hair sticking up, we see you as a perfect work of art.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And we can articulate it. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 38.75pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">You
will be analyzed.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you aren’t
ready to see yourself or self-reflect, then don’t date a writer because you’ll
pretty much be forced to look at what we see, simply because we <i>write</i> what we see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All we do is reflect, dissect, pour onto
paper and repeat.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 38.75pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">We
are passionate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>Creative people just
are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They will play with you, exhaust
you, energize you, dance with you, lay with you, and then write about it….<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 38.75pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">We
forget nothing. </b>We have the ability to remember exactly the way your lips
curled when you smiled that one time you said that, the way you taste and
smell, what your arms felt like when we were crying, and every word you’ve ever
said to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We thrive on the butterflies and even the pain,
so whatever you’ve caused will eventually turn into a flow of words. They may
be published or hidden in a drawer, but they are out there somewhere. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 38.75pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">We
forget everything. </b>We let our insurance lapse because we got a new debit
card, we run out of gas, we lose track of time, we drive off with the gas pump
still attached to the car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will
definitely need to remind us to get an oil change and we will have alarms on
our phone most likely for everything. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 38.75pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">We
are a little crazy, but in a really cool way. </b>We cycle and spike and go through creative lulls and highs
and that’s just the way we are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Balancing
it is hard for us and we sometimes feel manic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 38.75pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
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</span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">We
get wound up in our own thoughts and need space.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>Even as outgoing as I am, I have to have
space and quiet time to soak in and sort through all of the stimuli around me or
I will go insane.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because we pull from
the environment and think so much all the time, it can feel very overwhelming
if you can’t dump it somewhere…that’s what the paper is for. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></b><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We don’t like being bored. </b>Maybe I am
speaking for creative people in general, but Groundhog Day is like the worst
thing ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A boring kiss is the kiss of
death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And sitting around being dull
will get you a swift kick out the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So if you’re boring, you’re probably not going to make it with a writer.
Self-stimulation is a very real thing and we will do it even if you aren't involved just because we are trying to survive.<br>
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Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-26349765464603247792015-08-13T06:25:00.002-07:002015-08-13T08:31:55.984-07:00The Click<div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe4t2re9G0tfRDm3tXKbMH_YFWajFPma3n7JmpyfPm2tFv0R8sFZCp6HBE-OROhjYr7wDDqLV7btIty8rAAui5DwZqW_VOw3zefPwf7FYWP8LLFNaXXQAnBS7xrGbNBfwiuok6shaZXLE/s1600/Scarlett-O-Hara-scarlett-ohara-32888144-500-315.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe4t2re9G0tfRDm3tXKbMH_YFWajFPma3n7JmpyfPm2tFv0R8sFZCp6HBE-OROhjYr7wDDqLV7btIty8rAAui5DwZqW_VOw3zefPwf7FYWP8LLFNaXXQAnBS7xrGbNBfwiuok6shaZXLE/s320/Scarlett-O-Hara-scarlett-ohara-32888144-500-315.png" width="320"></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There is a phenomenon I experience that I like to call "The Click." It's basically occurs when all analyzing, emotions, events, and current circumstances have come together like a puzzle and feels like a lightening bolt when the last piece of the puzzle is finally connected to the rest in place. You wake up. Something resonates. You are done. The Click feels sudden, heartless, and cold, but in reality, it isn't. The Click is the exit strategy and result of someone who is entirely too patient in relationships or too stubborn to see what they should. I am both patient and stubborn. Bad mix. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have a love/hate relationship with The Click. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I first experienced The Click in high school. I put up with a bunch of crap from a boyfriend and then one day on the phone I said <i>"No, I'm done." </i> Whatever he had done hadn't been different than anything prior, but for some reason, that one thing was enough for me to never feel an emotion again. He cried on the phone and I hung up because I didn't care. I never talked to him again. My second boyfriend lost me at a train station. He drove me to the station, cussing at me the entire time, and I sat there being quiet. He had cussed many times before, but that was the last time I listened to it and I can't tell anyone what it was about that moment that was any different, except <b>CLICK</b>. As soon as the car stopped, I unclicked my seatbelt as quickly as I unclicked my heart. I walked over to the pay phone, calmly told my mom I was coming home to her after school, and I never came back to see him. I went to school that day, I didn't cry, I felt absolutely nothing at all. I went about my business, and that was that. When I did go back for my stuff, he was on his knees crying, and I couldn't muster anything. I looked cold, vacant, and I couldn't have cared about him if I had wanted to. The pattern has continued....</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The most frustrating thing about The Click is that I have experienced it enough to warn the people I love that I am like this, and still no one has taken it seriously. When you are a person who is just "done one day," it is very frustrating to see someone beg you once you're done and gone because then it's too late. Nothing is worse than indifference because that means the love is dead. Anais Nin says <i>"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source." </i> And when my hope in someone is gone, I move on. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The Click has become such a pattern for me that it has served as both a peaceful reminder when I am in tears and in love and miserable because I know one day it will save me, but it has also scared me because it seems to me to be inevitable and always feels so sudden. It serves as peace for my family and friends who are begging me to fall out of love because anyone who knows me knows that I seem to have to overplay something like a song that just has to become old and boring for me to finally turn it off. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Why must I be like Scarlett O'Hara who finally gets it at the end? I don't want to be someone who <i>gets it</i> too late, when I have given too much, lost too much, wasted too much time, shed too many tears, gambled too high and risked too much....</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Am I a slow learner emotionally? Unbelievably stubborn? Too true to my heart and emotions? Am I overly patient? Do I actually think I can fix people? Why does my puzzle have to have so many pieces? And why can't I leave a puzzle until it's completed? </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I don't want to be always waiting for that last puzzle piece before I start seeing the big picture. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>CLICK. </b></span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
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Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-7511454363908398112015-08-11T09:04:00.002-07:002015-08-11T09:27:01.894-07:00Do You Believe in Butterflies? <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2Jyz2bMSFOKFEB2HnmK0c0h0zSDhXdewIBUJKO33KQeCMUoJb8kTpL9BTH-_-5Twz7KQnm1HWBkJ-Bum4MfVySRT8pcasFcSYyrUo9jZsL0e02FeofbJYmH9aibjBF0B8MmoH8eatII0/s1600/ButterflyBlueSml2x2cm-e1319399759459__17685_zoom__36233_zoom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2Jyz2bMSFOKFEB2HnmK0c0h0zSDhXdewIBUJKO33KQeCMUoJb8kTpL9BTH-_-5Twz7KQnm1HWBkJ-Bum4MfVySRT8pcasFcSYyrUo9jZsL0e02FeofbJYmH9aibjBF0B8MmoH8eatII0/s320/ButterflyBlueSml2x2cm-e1319399759459__17685_zoom__36233_zoom.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud <br />
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom-Anais Nin</td></tr>
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This past Saturday I was drinking coffee with my girlfriends
and somehow the conversation led me to point out that I hadn’t seen a butterfly
in ages and how sad that is to me. Butterflies are a metaphor for change and since
I tend to think, learn, love and live through metaphors, the inevitable thought
followed….what does that say about our society when butterflies are
scarce?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am so sad when I lose hope in people and the things around
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am forced to concede and I really
hate that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have always truly believed that people and society can and
will change or I wouldn’t have made a lot of the decisions I have made in my
life and loved relentlessly the people I have loved and been passionate about
things I have been passionate about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What
would be the point of trying so hard if I didn’t believe that change was
possible?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I also still believe that
people are capable of change…the problem is that it’s usually when it’s too
late.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been repeatedly brokenhearted
because I have had no choice but to walk away, fall out of love, throw my hands
up and shut up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then what seems to
happen?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People change and care when I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">don’t </i>anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is nothing sadder than seeing someone
care when it's too late, love too late, change when you’re gone….and on the flipside,
looking in someone else’s eyes and seeing that they have given up on you is
gut-wrenching too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Seeing someone who once believed in you become despairing...</span>that’s what
provokes the too-late change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why so often do people have to lose someone to realize how
much they loved them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why do we have to
hit rock bottom to realize who would have caught us? Why do we gamble things instead
of sacrificing our own fears, selfishness, and stubbornness?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why in a society that is supposedly so
connected does everyone feel so disconnected?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What I have realized about changing is that in order to be connected to
your own soul, you have to be connected to others and your surroundings and
respect it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As long as someone is
disconnected from others and themselves, they can’t and won’t change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People are disconnected for different reasons,
whether it’s because of selfishness, hopelessness, lack of direction, or simply
being afraid of where it will lead them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And no matter how much you try to connect with someone who is
disconnected, you will always be disappointed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Any time I have greatly needed to change something about
myself and resisted it, I know that the main reason has always been fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am like anyone else who is afraid…I have
slowly built walls, written lists, designed coping mechanisms, run from things
that make me squirm, run toward the familiar and wrong, and denied denied
denied and the only way I have challenged anything scary head on is when I have
recognized where I am sensitive and sat with the uncomfortable. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
People have to want to change and they usually only do it
when the risk to NOT change is scarier than the change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The cocoon becomes smothering, oppressive,
and poisonous rather than safe, comforting, and nurturing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
As for me, I think the universe wants me to stay a hopeful
believer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Saturday afternoon, the same
day as the comment about not seeing butterflies anymore, my friends and I were
leaving a movie and a butterfly flew right over my head, flapped its little
wings and flew off right in front of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
face immediately lit up like a little girl and smiled when I pointed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
Butterflies are still there. You just have to believe in the ones who are brave enough to emerge from their cocoons.<br />
<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-40706622307269981302015-07-15T13:39:00.001-07:002015-07-15T15:55:17.968-07:00Old Brain Seeking Soul Mate<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeMQhyphenhyphenrFWh8UKAmt-zLz7yCY33pXce0uZt8ipmvZWaGCGk59P87mYDsqVRAzeFSDBJfGAH4Fqa1sF-zTxDWhfoO5PKQ5bavcsX5EnwfaY9sBmfAlsSrSS3NAR9BuhviZ2iNx8g_urVWq8/s1600/stars.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeMQhyphenhyphenrFWh8UKAmt-zLz7yCY33pXce0uZt8ipmvZWaGCGk59P87mYDsqVRAzeFSDBJfGAH4Fqa1sF-zTxDWhfoO5PKQ5bavcsX5EnwfaY9sBmfAlsSrSS3NAR9BuhviZ2iNx8g_urVWq8/s320/stars.png" width="320"></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Elizabeth Gilbert said the
following about soul mates in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Eat, Pray,
Love</i>:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #131313; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">“People think a soul mate
is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a
mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person
who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.” <o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="color: #131313; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">What’s funny about Gilbert writing
this is that she actually wrote that while on a year-long self-discovery trip
where she stayed away from men and sex….then came to find that both independence
and romantic love are important.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
appreciate my alone time, my thoughts in the quiet, and self-reflecting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I am beginning to realize that you can
get too comfortable with yourself, your ways, your habits, and while you can
change for a while on your own, and while it is important to do the work
independently, maybe it does take others to push you further. Maybe that’s why
we were built to be social beings, so we can grasp and grow from others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that the situations that make me squirm
have been where I need the most work…and continue to be. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">I recently wrote about attachment
styles and that led me to research further…<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this
stuff is fascinating!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you can recall last week’s blog, keep what
I said in mind as you read this one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">I recently read a book called
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">(BARF) </i>“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Getting the love you want”</i> by Dr. Harville Hendrix.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And while the title makes me want to puke,
it’s just a spectacular book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It really
is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I highly suggest reading it if you
want to understand yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">First, here is a quote from
the book that leads me to believe more in the idea of soul mates, that is, in
the sense that Gilbert wrote about them….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">“Much of nature has a dyadic or two-part
structure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>According to quantum physics,
each particle that comes into being is paired with another particle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Furthermore, each particle is both a point
and a wave depending upon how it is viewed, which is why some physicists now
refer to particles as “wavicles.” Sexual reproduction in the majority of
species we know involves two entities; Noah included one of each on the ark.
Our DNA splits into two and then generates the missing half.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our cells divide into two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anthropologists tell us that in the creation
stories in most cultures, people are first introduced as a couple, not as
separate individuals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Physiologists tell
us that our brains are complementary-right and left brain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our language is binary: up and down, black
and white, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our blood circulates in
oscillation between the right and left sides of our body. A recent discovery in
astronomy gives us another example of the dyadic nature of the universe, one
that is especially appropriate for our view of love relationships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We now know that most stars in the sky are
not solitary stars like our sun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of
them have a “companion star.” The two stars are attracted to each other by a
strong gravitational force but are kept from collapsing into each other by an
opposing centrifugal force. “ <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">So what he is getting at is
that it is natural to have a need for someone else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But pay attention to that last sentence….The
perfect relationship, the one we seek, is called the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Passionate Friendship.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
this passionate friendship often isn’t an easy road because there is a push and
a pull….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">The premise for the book is
this, and I will do my very best to simplify big concepts, EEEK:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">WHEN WE DEVELOP HOLES<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">We all have battle wounds
from when we were kids which means that most of us fill our lives trying to
fill them up or figure them out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every
child needs an attuned parent to grow up and have secure attachments in their
adult relationships, but a lot of us didn’t have that, or sometimes what’s more
confusing, we had one parent who was attuned to our needs and one who
wasn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This says to a child <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Now I need you, now I don’t,” </i>and we unfortunately
bring these wounds into our adult relationships. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">To understand this book, you
have to understand the concept of the OLD Brain and the NEW brain….. The book
says <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“The unconscious mind has great
difficulty distinguishing between past and present. When couples repair
connection in their present day relationship, they simultaneously heal the
trauma they felt as young children.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Two people cannot connect if they live in fear of being abandoned or
overwhelmed by their partners.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(We’ll
get to that in a minute, these people are called Fusers and Isolators.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s interesting though and really pay
close attention to this-the fact <u>that the unconscious mind doesn’t know
past versus present is super important-</u>makes sense why our coping mechanisms look
close to what they did when we were children, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s hard breaking habits and patterns,
especially when new hurts look and feel like old hurts….our brains simply don’t
know the difference on an unconscious level.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">That is because of the…..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">OLD BRAIN<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">The “Old brain” refers the
portion of the brain that includes both the brain stem and the limbic
system.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is the hard-wired stuff and
determines most of your automatic reactions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Old brain asks “Is this safe?” The only thing your old brain seems to
care about is whether a person is someone to nurture, be nurtured by, have sex
with, run away from, submit to, and attack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Your old brain takes images that say whether someone is a stranger, if
there are dangerous episodes associated with that image, or whether pleasure
has been associated with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Your old brain has no sense
of linear time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">NEW BRAIN<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">The “New brain” is the
cerebral cortex, the part of you that is conscious, alert, and in contact with
your daily surroundings. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">So here is the deal…a lot of
the decisions we make regarding partners happen without even knowing it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We often pick people based on our old
brains.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your old brain reads signals and
bases the findings on your parents within a matter of seconds without your even
knowing it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The reason that you often
find yourself with someone like your parents, or with people who have the exact
characteristic that scares you is because your old brain believes that it has
finally found the candidate to make up for the psychological and emotional
damage you experienced in childhood. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then with our new brain, we think “Why did I
do that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew better!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Here is an example of how our
New and Old Brains are at war….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">WHY DO OPPOSITES OFTEN ATTRACT?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Let’s use two examples, even
though there are many in the book…. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">ISOLATOR: </span></b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">A
person who protects his or her autonomy could be someone with an insecure
mother or father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe the parent impeded
on the child’s independence and the child always fears becoming engulfed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This person is likely to become an “isolator.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They unconsciously push others away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They keep people at a distance, need a lot of
space, want freedom, they don’t want to be pinned down to a single relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">FUSER:</span></b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"> This is a person who experienced the opposite, who felt abandoned as a child, who didn’t
have a lot of stability, someone with wishy-washy parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fusers crave attention, physical affection,
they will need stability.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have an
insatiable need for closeness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Divorce
fills them with terror, they need reassurance, verbal contact, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and they feel abandoned and unloved when they
don’t get it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">These two people often wind
up together and get married. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">On a conscious level, it
makes little sense that if you have a fear<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>of being suffocated or losing your freedom that you would wind up with
someone who has an insatiable need for affection, just like it makes little sense
that if you have a fear of abandonment, you would seek out an isolator. But
according to the book, it happens and it’s because your old brain tries to
recreate the conditions of your childhood in order to correct the wounds. The
really awesome thing though is that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">because
</i>your old brain has no concept of time, if you can fix the outcome with the
person you are with currently, you can heal the same wound from when you were a
child—because your brain doesn’t have a concept of time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Obviously, a cycle is going
to emerge and it might be very hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
relationship might end because of the push and pull, only to try a relationship
with someone else, and that ends, and so on and so on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Patterns emerge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A person who gets freaked out by closeness is
going to pull away, causing the person who needs closeness to panic and pull
more until the Isolator runs away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
what the Isolator doesn’t realize is that the Fuser has the key to helping him/her
heal his or her wounds, just like the Isolator holds the key to healing the
Fuser’s wounds. This takes me back to the quote about soul mates…if it’s too
comfortable and no one is pushing the other to be more, then what is the point?
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are we stars in the sky with that force
pulling us toward each other and yet there’s something keeping us apart?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if we can fill those holes with each
other, with one swift motion, together?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">What is this “Passionate
Friendship?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hendrix boils the
phenomenon down to 4 sentences…. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Phenomenon of recognition-</span></b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">This is when you click, you feel like you have known
each other forever. You bond naturally. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Phenomenon of timelessness-</span></b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">It feels like you have known each other forever, even
if it hasn’t been very long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Phenomenon of reunification</span></b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">-You feel filled up. This happens because, for
example, a person who is not at ease with his or her sexuality will wind up
with someone who is sexual and free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
person not attune with their feelings will wind up with someone who is very
expressive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Phenomenon of necessity-</span></b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">This is when you can’t imagine the other person not
being in your life.<o:p></o:p></span><br>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Maybe this is what Bono meant
when he said “I can’t live with or without you,” and maybe Ovid was an
Isolator in love with a Fuser when he wrote “So I can’t live either without you
or with you.” </span><span style="font-size: 16pt;">The push and pull seems to be
a theme throughout history.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Maybe Hendrix
is right and there is something to this…maybe this is what a soul mate is.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br>
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Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-54549561442763602052015-07-06T17:55:00.000-07:002015-07-06T18:07:37.830-07:00Attachment Styles<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I recently started reading about Attachment styles and I feel
like I struck gold because it all makes so much sense to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have ever wondered why you do
something in a relationship or behave in a certain way, read up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ways we cope have a lot to do with how we
learned to bond and trust as children and it drastically can have an effect on
our adult romantic relationships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
can fix it, but you have to understand what you’re doing and identify your
motivations before changing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That makes
understanding Attachment Theory and how it affects your behavior in relationships
(and how others are functioning) very useful. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Attachment theory is the study that attempts to describe how humans
interact in relationships and there are 4 types: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Secure, Anxious-Preoccupied, Dismissive-Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Secure
Attachment:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">When someone has a secure attachment style, they are usually
comfortable in their relationships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
feel connected to their mates, but they are comfortable feeling free and allow
their partner to feel free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are
able to be honest, open, and independent but seek intimacy from their partner
in a healthy way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I have read a lot about the following three attachment styles
lately and one of the things I read, and I am not necessarily saying this is
true but it’s an interesting thought, is that people with secure attachment
styles most often find each other in the pool, which leaves everyone else left
with each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After you read all of
the attachment styles below, you might understand how when these are paired
together, there might be a little friction or chaos….that’s what I realized
anyway. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I have also attached a link to an online test, if you are
interested in finding out what group you are in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">A person with this type of attachment wants to form a fantasy
bond, which is an intense emotional hunger and they will push and push for that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They want to be rescued and they look to
their partner to make them feel complete.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This can be overwhelming for the person they are in a relationship
with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their actions often push their
partner away because they often become demanding and possessive because they
are insecure, feeling unloved and unfulfilled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They aren’t trusting of their partner and when their possessive actions finally
do push their partner away, they feel validated and think they were right not
to trust them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This results in a future
pattern of not trusting people and expecting others to hurt them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Dismissive-Avoidant:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">People with this type of attachment are hard to get close
to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are afraid of commitment and purposely
emotionally distance themselves from their partners when they are uncomfortable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They seek a kind of pseudo-independence and tend
to only focus on themselves and no one else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not only is it hard for them to get close to people in romantic
situations, but sometimes even their close friends aren’t able to get
close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Dismissives might say things like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I don’t need others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am fine
the way I am" </i>but then they<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>crave
affection and intimacy because all humans do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When they do get the attention and affection that they need, they are then
afraid of it and this causes them to push the person away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When someone gets too close, they engage in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">deactivating strategies</i>, which keep
intimacies in check.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, a
dismissive might cut someone off who gets too close and have excuses for why
they are doing it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They might say things
like they aren’t ready to commit, but might wind up staying in the relationship
for years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They say they are afraid of
losing their freedom, they focus on small imperfections in their partner, they might
pine over an ex girlfriend or boyfriend, flirt with others, and pull away from
their partner when things are going well—for example, maybe they won’t call
after an intimate date.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They leave
things fuzzy in order to maintain their independence and tend to run from the person
who gets the closest to them. Usually a dismissive has had a previous
relationship that ended badly and the memory of the person is used as a weapon
against their partner whenever they get too close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They might tell their partner or themselves
that that mate will never measure up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
been found that dismissives tend to become workaholics. They also tend to look
for less demanding relationships when their primary partner might require real
intimacy. They even try to avoid intimacy altogether. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Fearful-Avoidant:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">This is the most complicated attachment style.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fearful-avoidant is afraid to be close to
someone because they might get hurt, but they also fear distance and crave the closeness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They try to keep their feelings under
control, but they often end up overwhelmed and tend to be mixed-up and
unpredictable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They experience anxiety from their emotions
but aren’t able to run away, which means that they don’t know how to get their
needs met by others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, they
may seek safety from the exact person that they are afraid of and mixed-up
about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fearful-avoidants often wind up in
dramatic relationships with lots of up ups and downs, sometimes even winding up
in abusive relationships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They struggle
with abandonment but also with being intimate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They cling when they feel rejected, but they feel trapped when they are
close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This type often has features of
both neglect and abuse, maybe from a history of rejection or an absent
parent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He or she believes deep down
that there is something about them that will result in rejection if a person
gets too close and therefore, they might distance themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But then they need to be loved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This winds up in a cycle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">The fearful-avoidant might have low confidence or feel that they
are never good enough; they may become passive in relationships and blame
themselves when the relationship fails. They might have poor communication with
their partner and avoid conflict at all costs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Here is a quiz you can take online if you are interested in
seeing where you might land.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are
two more listed: dependent and co-dependent, but I don’t understand why those
two are listed as separate styles since all three of these are in a way,
co-dependent by themselves. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><a href="http://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/2859">http://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/2859</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
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Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-19939509521415933182015-07-01T12:04:00.002-07:002015-07-01T12:11:36.445-07:00Top 5 Worst Things I Saw on Social Media This Week<div class="MsoNormal">
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When I was 3 or 4 years old I used to flip a cardboard box
over and use it as my desk to anchor the news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My mom was the cameraman, and yes, there is proof of this on VHS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was in high school I anchored for our
high school news station, WBHS, and although I was supposed to eventually leave
to take other TV classes, I refused because I loved it. I went to college to be
a journalist because I cared about the world and I knew that with information, you
could make changes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadly, at some point in
college I realized that it isn’t as easy to report the facts and get people
to care as it probably should be and even when do people care, there are so many issues in the world,
they often don’t know what to do about it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I get really depressed about our country, the world, the media and politics. So many stupid people have money, our leaders suck for the most part, the media dumbs us down, and then I see proof on public forums that actually, yes.....stupidity is rampant in our culture. I always heard that you can't fix stupid-I hope that's not true.</div>
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Here are 5 things that made me want to gouge my eyes out this week and pack a bag and never come back. (But you can't pack very well with no eyeballs, so I suppose I am just being dramatic.)</div>
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<b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Donald Trump's face. </b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">The way I look at it, we have already had to look at that rat on top of his head for entirely too long. The least he could learn to do is think before speaking and offending everyone. Is that the thanks we get for being so accepting of his ridiculous facial expressions and coiffure over the years? Idiotic, bigoted remarks about an entire group of people who are a huge part of our country? I hope EVERYONE fires him. That would make me insanely happy. </span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>Ted Cruz DEFENDING Donald Trump. </b>He said NBC was "being silly" with its political correctness. He said <i>"I think Trump is terrific, I think he's brash, I think he speaks the truth." </i>OHHHH, ok. First of all, he's wanting to be our president....and so was Trump. Nice to see that we have such awesome options as citizens. What he was really saying with his remarks is that he thinks bigots are terrific and that Mexicans are rapists. Glad they're dropping like flies; makes my job as a voter easier. </span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>This guy, Damaru, can vote. </b>I was reading the comments under one of Nicholas Kristoff's articles about the Supreme Court's decisions to legalize gay marriage and unfortunately I stumbled upon this one-celled organism called <i>Damaru</i>. If I wasn't feeling depressed about our society before, I definitely was once I read his comments. Utter. Shock. </span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>Kim Kardashian called herself a feminist. </b>That's a nice thought, Kimmie. But do you think you could put a shirt on before you make remarks about being highly intelligent and calling yourself a feminist? It's rather distracting. Thanks. </span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>I heard Iggy Azalea speak without rapping. I don't recommend it. </b>Apparently there was talk that she was <i>“throwing shade”</i>
on Britney Spears. I have no clue what that meant.</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Then she said she doesn’t have to suck a girl’s
a**hole 24/7 to be friends with her. NIIICE and lady like. I feel so clean having heard that. </span><br>
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">The picture below looks like the cover photo for Mattel's Skank-abu Barbie, yellow Jeep and STD's included. </span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965711957034883029.post-30068465065026408942015-06-28T07:15:00.002-07:002015-06-28T07:36:00.917-07:00Colors of the Rainbow<div class="MsoNormal">
I believed that the Confederate flag was improper on the
lawn of the Capital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also supported
the Supreme Court’s decision on Friday to legalize gay marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That being said, I believe that the White
House made a mistake hosing down the White House in rainbow lights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br></div>
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There are two reasons why I believed what I believed in all 3 situations and
they have nothing to do with my religious beliefs and they are important for us all to remember:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Separation of Church and State<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Freedom of Speech<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br></div>
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<b>OHHHH, that flag......</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Confederate flag is offensive to many, many people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t understand why someone would want that flag in their yard, but I also think it’s a slippery slope to go around banning things too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, companies were the ones banning the flag on their products this past week and not the government, so it’s fine….but it’s also
stupid when you don’t do it with common sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><i>Gone With the Wind</i> is ABOUT the Civil War.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Come on. Be smart. </span>There is a difference between that movie and
future belt buckles made in 2015. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> You lose credibility when you're stupid. Anyway, the</span> reason
that we can go back and forth about the meaning of the flag is the same reason
I am allowed to write about this and it’s because the 1<sup>st</sup> Amendment gives
us that right. I don’t have to like that flag, but the reason I have to be
willing to allow someone to fly that flag on their personal property is the same
reason that I have to allow someone to burn an American flag, and the reason I
have to as a citizen allow both of those things to happen is so that I can have an
opinion opposing them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The government
operates under ONE flag, and that is the AMERICAN flag, and that’s why South
Carolina had no business flying the Confederate flag over their Capital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Also, s</span>tates have rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The South got what they wanted in a way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get over it. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my opinion, the state has no right to
offend its people with an offensive flag because they are supposed to be
neutral and FOR the people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fly the one
that is supposed to unite us, not one that clearly divides us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Civil rights aren't up for debate....</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now the reason I supported the Supreme Court decision on
Friday is also very simple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has
nothing to do with my religious beliefs or as some would say "lack thereof," but because when passing laws, you are
supposed to keep in mind that “GOD” might not mean MY God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The debate that Christians use is “God
intended marriage to be between a woman and a man.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But the STATE, the GOVERNMENT is passing out marriage certificates and
offering certain benefits to married people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now unless the government isn’t going to be in the marriage business at
all, then MARRIAGE is not defined.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because “In God We Trust”
means any god that we want to believe in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My God and your God might not look the same, in which case, it is not
the government’s job to define marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This was a civil rights issue, period.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In my mind, it logically doesn’t make any sense at all to create a
country that says its people have the freedom to exercise the religion of their choice and then
tell those same people that your God doesn’t support his or her rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> How can you possibly be the authority on that? Why haven't Christians gone after atheists too? If you as a Christian believe that your God created marriage because that's what your bible says, then why should you allow an atheist to get married? For that matter, what about divorce? What about couples who cannot conceive, if the reason for marriage is to procreate? </span>You simply cannot have it both ways. You cannot live in a country that supports all religions and yet oppresses others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, if the state DID get out of the marriage
business altogether and marriage was a <i>church</i> thing, then what are Christians
going to say when someone opens churches that support gay marriage?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They can have an opinion, but they aren’t
allowed to do anything about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Either way, you lose that argument in this country. </span>We all
have to live together and we don’t all have the same beliefs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Bottom line, g</span>et over it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Mind your business.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Move
along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Exercise that opinion without
oppressing others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> You are free to believe what you believe. </span><o:p></o:p><br>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN3t3NjROocXn2oLS82uNdSPsWF5jDxOleLISbEmAzOtEfGKSemRJZ_hhWrhCrBMNDZwNDkg8gAuI5Ugh7ObxpWvrww6XAm04ITYlkMMfU20Y3ExDL7drsZiwWNfvYyY5pwTU-Q8NuMpQ/s640/blogger-image-1783343187.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN3t3NjROocXn2oLS82uNdSPsWF5jDxOleLISbEmAzOtEfGKSemRJZ_hhWrhCrBMNDZwNDkg8gAuI5Ugh7ObxpWvrww6XAm04ITYlkMMfU20Y3ExDL7drsZiwWNfvYyY5pwTU-Q8NuMpQ/s640/blogger-image-1783343187.jpg"></a></div><br></div>
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<br></div>
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<o:p><b>Colors of the Rainbow.....</b></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think it’s very clear where I am going with the White
House rainbow lights, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, the
Confederate Flag might mean something evil to most and the rainbow lights were a symbol for love, but I think the reason the court was successful in
getting the law passed was keeping it simply about civil liberties and being fair. I think it was in poor taste, and frankly stupid, for the White House to not just shut up. We are trying to unite, and it isn't going to happen over night. Pass the right laws and shut up. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We all need to be sensitive, people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need not gloat when something goes our
way, we need not behave in a hateful way when we are upset, and we need to tell
the government to do their damn job and represent the law the best way they can
and keep our hodgepodge of religious beliefs out of what should be an issue of
fairness and equality for all citizens of all backgrounds. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have to start waking up about the country we live
in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Phrases like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Take back our country,”</i> for example, are not helpful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take it back from whom?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Calling people <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Unamerican”</i> is not helpful either.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We have to start realizing what country we live in and STICK to that and
I never say this, but if YOU DON’T believe in EQUAL OPPORTUNITY or EQUAL RIGHTS
or FREEDOM OF SPEECH OR EXPRESSION or FREEDOM OF RELIGION, and SEPARATION OF CHURCH
AND STATE, then YES!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Leave!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because that is what our country
believes!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You don’t like people coming
to our country from other countries?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>LEAVE then!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is totally
within your freedom!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rest of us will
carry on and govern ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only way
that we can properly govern ourselves by the concepts that our forefathers put
in place is by having intelligent, sensitive conversations backed factually by
the laws that protect us from someone trumping us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But you have to respect everyone to get
respect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can’t have it your
way all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have to mind our own business,
we have to move it along, and we have to stop being so nasty to each
other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am tired of the following words being dirty words:
Liberal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Feminist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Conservative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Intellectual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Liberal means open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Feminist is someone who believes women are
equal to men.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Intellectual is someone who
values education and exploration.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Conservative is someone who finds value in tradition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These are not bad things, but people are
ruining the concepts by being assholes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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If America doesn't grow up, we are not going to exist forever. If we can't have conversations with each other, how can we elect properly? They are playing us like a slide guitar. I just wish people would wake up and realize that. <br>
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Brittany Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17372284771520055513noreply@blogger.com0