Love all, trust a few, do wrong to no one-William Shakespeare
Recently, a boyfriend of someone I know went through her
phone. I don’t want to give any more
details than that. My first response was
this…. I ignored everything she said and replied, “Why was he digging through your phone?” She seemed a little surprised that this
was my only reaction. Am I the only
person who thinks that it is odd to believe you can go digging in someone’s phone
and check up on an adult as if he or she is a sneaky teenager or an inmate at a
jail? People say “Well, but if you suspect something,” ok, but so what; that gives
you free reign to go digging? Then you
have different issues to be facing. Face
those rather than tainting your possibly innocent relationship. What if you are wrong and the person is
innocent? You have then tainted the
relationship. If I found myself doing
this, I would break my own heart before finding a betrayal because I would
realize I didn’t have trust for the person, and at that point, there really
isn’t a relationship and I may as well end it regardless of whether the person
was cheating or lying or not.
Cheaters and liars get caught and you have to decide to
either leave them and move on or forgive them and move on, but assuming
everyone cheats and lies is ridiculous because there are honest people out there.
I also believe that everyone deserves privacy and that you have a right
to your own space. Just because you are
in a relationship doesn’t mean you should turn into the NSA and if you have
never proven to be dishonest, you shouldn’t put up with the NSA either.
I will admit that I am a dreamer and an idealist and I
realize that the world doesn’t work the way I see fit most of the time, but
that doesn’t change the fact that I believe what I believe and that I am pretty
incapable of changing, no matter how many times I have been hurt. I hesitated writing this because I thought it
was probably a stupid idea, like I would become a target or get taken advantage
of, but there have to be other people who think the way that I do and so I
continued to write. If someone lies to
me because they know they can, well then, I guess it is what it is. It won’t be the first time. But I do wonder how someone can look into a
pair of innocent eyes dead on and lie, knowing the set of eyes is looking at that person without hesitation. A person who
will be honest and love you and believe you is sacred in this world and this
brings me to my point….I would rather be alone than to be in a relationship that
doesn’t have this kind of trust in it
and I will continue to be me, even if it means I am alone.
Corinthians says that love trusts and protects; it rejoices
in the truth. How do you have a
relationship without trust? What is a relationship without trust? You don’t have to ask someone twice when you
trust the person. You just know and
accept it the first time. THAT is
trust. I always think it’s kind of funny
when people think you’re stupid for trusting, as if you’re not supposed to
“trust” people “blindly” or as if trust exists without being blind—it doesn’t.
Trust IS blind. The definition of trust
is “a firm belief in the reliability,
truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.” When you believe in something, you don’t go
digging around for inconsistencies because you don’t believe that
inconsistencies exist. If you do go
digging around, you don’t trust blindly.
You don’t trust at all. Your
relationship should be much like a treaty instead of The Patriot Act. The Patriot Act protects us from harm; it
gives us immediate relief that maybe nothing bad is going to happen, but then
it also gives power to support whatever claims it wants. Well, what happens when that is power abused
and the person is innocent? And why is
it that a non-trusting person always seems to find something to support his or
her claim, regardless of whether or not they did? Pandora’s box. That’s why. A person who has trust issues and believes
that someone will always lie to them will always find something to support
that.
Trust is precious and when it is broken, it takes a lot to
fix it; I am not sure it can be fully restored.
Hopefully I am wrong, but this is
why you don’t lie and accuse, even about the little things.
Personally, I will take a punishment if I deserve it, but if
I tell you the truth and I am innocent, if you ask me twice, I become very
angry. I have been single for a while
and I may stay single thinking the way I think—I don’t care. I will always be honest in whatever
relationship I wind up in, even if the truth sucks. I will always answer a question honestly….ONCE. If I am asked twice, I will walk away without
hesitation. I can’t trust someone who
can’t trust me.
Do I sound stupid and naïve?
Probably. But at least I am honest
and won’t go through your phone…
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