Today I am officially saying goodbye to my blog. This last post is #1,119.
Haphazard Daily was born on January 18th, 2011, which makes it a little over 6 years old. What started out as an attempt to keep my writing fresh while I stayed home with my infant twins ended up being an unexpected conduit to self-discovery and one of the best things I ever just decided to do. (Which is how you should do everything, by the way. Just do it.) I was passionate and every day, I became a little braver as I posted, putting bits of my heart and soul out there for everyone to see. At first, I wrote with no one reading, then family and friends began reading, and eventually I started getting readers I had never met. I had to work to keep from censoring myself as my readership went up. I had to write the
dirty word I wanted
to use. Say the thing that I was afraid
to say. “But everyone will hate me.” Tell
the truth about my life. “But my grandma might be reading.” Push even though I might get backlash. Sticker
families and Confederate flags! I teetered on a delicate line between being
brutally honest about the way I felt and trying to show empathy to those who
may not agree with me. I had to learn to
be okay with the fact that some people wouldn’t even read what I wrote, or
sometimes they would, and they would criticize me and argue with me either way. I refused to block people because I believe
so strongly in freedom of speech and the value of discussion, which resulted in
a lot of stress sometimes. I always
wondered if I had been fair, too harsh, wrong, etc. I can honestly say today that I have
certainly grown and as a result, I cringe sometimes when I see things that old
Brittany said—but I was honest when I wrote whatever that was and that’s what has
probably made it possible for me to decide to retire this sweet little thing I
created and love.
I chose the name Haphazard Daily because I knew I would require full control of my creativity if I was going to remain passionate every day—I wanted to write about whatever I felt like writing about any day of the week. She is stubborn and hates discipline! (How many times have I and will I hear that in my life?) Who says that I can’t write about Syrian refugees on Monday and how I secretly think I am a race car driver on Thursday? Well, she did, as ridiculous as it was. Thanks for reading anyway.
I write to understand myself and my place in the world. I write to find the truth. And when you get to the end, you stop. (Yes, that’s from Alice in Wonderland.) I have gone through a lot of growth over the last 6 years and writing here no longer challenges me. I am by no means finished becoming me, but I dug at myself where I needed to and now it’s just time to do something else. I am starting a collaborative project with other writers now because, quite frankly, the concept of TRUTH is under fire and that is very disturbing to me. Truth is not an abstract idea and I am going to write where I am needed now. I am excited about a new chapter in my writing and a little nervous, but just do it, right?
To close, here is a Top 10, like I used to do every Wednesday.
What has this blog taught me?
1. People want to be inspired. People want to connect with others. We have the desire to seek the truth and part of finding it is looking for someone we identify with. I’ve always been shocked and humbled when people have bothered to read what I have written. Then enjoyed it? And WHAT???? GOTTEN something out of it? I can’t thank my readers enough for caring enough to read my thoughts. Thank you for your encouragement and feedback. You have made me a braver, stronger, better person and writer. I love all of the connections we have made.
2. Pondering is golden. Ask questions! Be curious! I cannot stress to you how important it is to think critically and take the time to think about things and develop your own thoughts. I would like to put everything into little boxes that make sense, but it doesn’t work that way. Life is messy. It’s best if you give your soul room to roam through the chaos and find some peace.
3. Some people will agree with you and some won’t. Who cares? Better to be an authentic version of yourself rather than worry about pissing people off when you are bound to do so anyway. Be sensitive to other perspectives, but in the end, be you.
4. Art is everywhere. I wrote a lot about things that inspire me because I really try to walk around in life with my eyes and ears open. The world sucks, but it’s good too. (Remember the guy in American Beauty who filmed the bag and cried about it? He was weird, but he had a point.)
5. People are passionate about their sticker families. Talk about religion, politics, and money before telling someone that their sticker family is stupid and an invitation to kidnappers, unless you really want to laugh at something absurd. They get really mad. (I did not see that one coming.)
6. Your words will be quoted back to you if you write. I wrote a blog two or three years ago about becoming Facebook Official and how it’s stupid. http://haphazarddaily.blogspot.com/2014/04/facebook-official.html
I recently changed my status after careful consideration and of course, I was quoted back to myself. Well, I still hold true to almost every word. It’s lame. However, I missed one giant fact while writing from my Single Ivory Tower: when you are in a relationship and you are on social media, you are outnumbered by creeps 1000/1. Unfortunately, you can’t operate on principle because men want to send you pictures of their penises. Your goal here is to cut that number down to at least 1/3 of what it was. They will stop at nothing to hit on you, so it is best to make it clear you are not available if you are not. If you love your boyfriend and you are off limits, let the bastards know.
7. Men are not all savages. Men are not all one way, just like women are not all one way. We all have feelings and we are complex. (Hold it right there, man sending the dick pic. I don’t mean you.)
8. The truest thing I ever wrote was about dick pics: “I guess the thing that makes me laugh about unsolicited dick pics is that penises to a woman are a lot like newborn babies are to people who aren’t the child’s parents. You know how someone can have a baby and it’s hairy and its eyes are squinty and its head is shaped funny like a cone? The mother of that baby really thinks her baby is perfect and wants to stare at it all day, but a stranger might think to herself “I hope his head goes back to normal.” It’s the same way when it’s your man’s penis versus some rando’s. When we have no emotional connection to you, possibly no attraction, and we haven’t asked to see your penis, you’re running a risk…..we may look at it like it’s someone else’s ugly newborn baby.”
9. When you change and grow, cringing at your former self is inevitable. Technology has made it possible for us to look at things we have said, things we used to think, times we were wrong, and unfortunately, we want to go back in time and kick our own ass. Having a blog is a constant reminder that I am constantly growing because I cringe sometimes when I read what I said. HOW could I have said that? That was so stupid!!!! But if you aren’t doing that, you are more than likely arrogant and one-dimensional and one of those people who Mark Twain said not to argue with.
10. Alice had to fall down a deep hole before reaching Wonderland. Damn. Best thing I ever did was deciding to take the risks I have taken the last few years.
Thanks so much for reading. It’s been fun.