Facebook Official

The last time I was single was 2003.  That was when texting and phone bills had the ability to get out of control; I know this because my ex ended up with a phone bill that was around 3 or 4 grand from talking to me.  It's hard now to understand how that could happen, but it did back then.  Anyway, things may be different now, but there are some things that remain the same and that is that people want to feel secure in their relationships.  Now what I am about to say may come off like I have an issue with people changing their statuses in general.  I don't.  In fact the whole point of having a status is to update it, so that would be a stupid thing to say.  Everyone on Facebook has a relationship status....I do.  It's single.  You have to have a relationship status because it forces you.  If they gave the option "None of your damn business", I would have chosen that one, but they don't, so I had to go with single.   Here's the point of this blog...I just don't get why it's such a big deal in a new relationship to be Facebook Official, and I don't get how some people act about it.  Let me clarify this even more...

Facebook Official in Urban Dictionary is defined as being how TEENS and COLLEGE students talk about relationships.

So I guess I am wondering why it's so important to grown-ass adults too. Some of my guy friends have told me that this is a really big deal when dating now and I just laugh.  They sound like they are in third grade dating a child and they usually agree, otherwise, they wouldn't be telling me about it. 

I haven't had to have the discussion about Facebook with a boyfriend because I do not have a boyfriend in which to have the discussion with, so I really hope no one takes offense to this, but really, who the hell cares if you're "Facebook Official"? What's the big freaking deal? Grown women are like "We are Facebook Official!"  and I uncomfortably say "Ohhhhhh!".  Must be love.  I have known people to break up because one person won't make it Facebook Official, and I honestly cringe thinking about that.  I'll just say right now, for the record.....there isn't a guy out there who will be making it  "Facebook Official" with me unless there's a ring on it. I don't need that assurance and neither should he.  It's stupid.  I mean the fact that you have to send a request like you're passing a note in 8th grade is just mortifying to me.  Then talking about it like "Ok, hunny, I am about to send you a request!  OHHHH you just accepted it!  It's official!  Sh** just got real!"  UGH.  I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a fork!  I'm going to date a guy who isn't on Facebook just to be an extra pain-in-the-ass.  

Here's why it's stupid to make such a huge deal about it:

1.  You don't have to change your status for people to assume you're together.  Everyone assumes that one of my best guy friends and I are together and we laugh behind everyone's backs about it because we think it's funny.  People assume if you hang out together, stand near each other in a picture, or get tagged in the same status, that you are either sleeping together or dating.  Not true.  So ladies, if you are worried about it, just get about 50 pictures (just you and him) posted and everyone will think you're together anyway.  You can avoid the uncomfortable "Facebook Status" convo.  And if people disregard your Single status due to pictures, then what does that tell you?  It means absolutely nothing. 
2. Why are you in such a hurry to alert all bitches that your man's taken by you?  So she can immediately stalk you and inbox him to be a bitch? You don't need to slap your name on him to know he's yours, and if you do, well then that should tell you something.
3. Privacy is sexy to me.  It isn't really important what others think.  You and him know what's up, and if you don't, then again, that's the real problem.  Facebook shouldn't be the end-all be-all sign of where the relationship is headed.
4. Most social norms and rules are the killers of relationships to begin with; Facebook just added itself to the list.  If you don't know what I mean, well, I'll explain.  I have been married.  Just because you are married, have a title, you had the wedding, you got this and you got that....it doesn't mean you're safe and secure.  The relationship itself and the respect and understanding you have with each other is what is important and sacred...not the title or what everyone thinks or knows about the two of you.  Everything but you and him is just fluff in the end.
5. Unless I just got married, I really don't feel the need to announce my relationship status on Facebook because it's no one's business but mine.  If it doesn't work out, well then I'll have to change my status back to single and there will be a million questions about my life.  I am not really up for a press conference about why I don't like a guy anymore or why he doesn't like me. We are all adults here, keep movin'.  Nothing to see here.
6.  Mark Zuckerberg knows enough about us.  He doesn't also need to know who we're sleeping with.