It's not You, It's Nature

I learned about something very interesting when I stayed with my Uncle Andy.  I haven’t been fully educated on the matter yet, but I would still like to share what I do know because I found it so interesting. 

I learned that there is an old psychological theory stating that there are four personality types in existence.  Sometimes people can be a mixture, sometimes people can be just one of the types.  If you are two, according to my uncle, you are usually 80 percent one way and 20 percent another.  First, I will briefly tell you about each personality type and then I will explain a little about what I have learned and why it’s extremely helpful to research this and apply it to your everyday relationships.  You may not question who you are and why you are attracted to certain types anymore after you learn about this.  I pulled some from Wikipedia and the rest, I learned from my uncle. 

1. Sanguine: These are the “people persons.”  They are extremely extroverted, talkative, enjoy social events, boisterous, the “life” of the party, have big dreams, daydream often, they are thoughtful and sensitive, but also very emotional people.  Sanguines have a hard time following through with things sometimes.  Following through is really going against the very nature of a Sanguine.  The Sanguine is chronically late, forgetful, and sarcastic.  Also, when pursuing a new hobby, they often get bored and move on to something else.
2. Melencholy:  These are the worriers.  They worry about the bad in the world, the what-if’s, the hypothetical, they worry about being late, they worry about the weather and always know what the weather will be.  These people can be creative, they are perfectionists, and they are independent.   It seems to me that they are very thoughtful to others because they prepare for the bad in most occasions. 
3. Choleric:  These are the people who get things done, the leaders.  They are ambitious; they try to instill things in others, and sometimes can take over other personalities, particularly phlegmatic.  These people are the successful types, often political leaders.  They are can tend to be manipulative.  Without them, who knows what the world would look like?
4. Plegmatic:  These are like the absolute opposite of Sanguines.  They are shy, do not like change, prefer their own routines.  They are self-content and affectionate.  They are observant, curious, rational, calm, and think things through before actually doing them.  Because of their “chill” nature, they can be run-over sometimes.  However, because of their rational thinking and calm demeanor, they make good administrators.  They can be passive aggressive. 

The reason that my uncle even told me about this is because he said to someone else in the room “She is a Sanguine, just like me.  That’s why I like her!”  And it’s so true. If you knew me when I was younger, I was pure Sanguine. I am however a mixture of something odd.  The fact that I graduated from college with excellent grades was out of passion and love alone.  I had a passion for learning, for doing well, and I was never organized enough when I was younger to do well at all.  I am good at something if I am interested, and if I am not…..you’ve never seen a bigger loser. 

The older I have gotten, I hate being late.  I plan and make lists almost obsessively.  No, not almost……obsessively.  I have to write something down to function, and I have to stay organized.  I am not relaxed about it though.  It’s like, I feel better being organized, but it stresses me out to even STAY that way, and according to my uncle, it’s because it really isn’t in my nature to be organized, on time, cautious, rational, relaxed…..none of those are my true qualities but I have to have them to lead my family.  Really, if I didn’t have kids, I would probably be super unorganized, late, all of that.  But if you know me now, I am never late.  I am very structured, I like things a certain way.  I don’t know.  I can’t figure it out.  I will say this…..the second that my kids are not with me and I have time to myself, I have no concept of time, I am all over the place, forget what I am doing, get distracted. 

Knowing all of this has helped my aunt and uncle in their marriage because they realize that their differences are what attracts them to each other in the first place and also that their differences are what cause both friction and harmony.  It’s the same with me and Don.  Those of you who know us know that I never shut up, and you know that if Don speaks, you’d better listen because it’s going to be damn important and well thought out.  He’s thoughtful in what he says, ponders often, he thinks things through.  I am exactly the opposite.  I seamlessly move from one topic to another and leave him in the dust, still pondering the first out of the 200 subjects I just discussed.  My mom called me “her passion” when I was a little girl.  But being passionate also involves being dramatic and emotional, and it’s the exact opposite of Don.  It is good that we are different because it brings out things in him that would not be there, but it also has to be freaking annoying!  His demeanor grounds me, helps me to be more rational, but I get frustrated that it’s so hard for me.  He is my perfect match because what I am not, he is.  And what I am, he isn’t. 

I hope that you found this interesting.  I have found that it helps to understand other people and it has helped to accept others for the way that they are.  Accepting others for the way they are can be liberating and it can make you a better person.  You can learn a lot from people who are by nature, different than you.

jointure \JOIN-cher\, noun:

Property given to a woman upon marriage, to be owned by her after her husband's death.