Come Fly with Me

One of my friends is doing a bit of online dating and she occasionally sends me messages and pictures that she finds amusing.  In fact, they are hysterical and I look forward to the next time some idiot contacts her.  The fact that some of these people are still single isn't only not shocking in any way; it's a really good thing.  She once sent me the profile of a guy who wrote "sex" under "interests".  Wow.  I think that this one, however, takes the cake.  The message below has not been edited in any way, except I removed the dude's email address.  Read this, but you may want to pee first:

 "I am a very good looking and fit white Hispanic male that just wants an awesome great getaway weekend to sin city las vegas with a woman in her 20s. I don't expect anything from you except that you also enjoy fine dining, dancing, going to shows and having fun. Ill cover all expenses and would just cherish having someone with a zest for life that wants to live life for a weekend. I am a professional, disease free, 510 175 lbs and im not into drugs. There will be no strings attached from either one of us and as mentioned, all that I'm asking for is the pleasure of your company and your need to also have fun. To get us both comfortable we could first meet for a cup of coffee somewhere and also exchange pics. I just recently went through a big break up after many years and I want to go slow before jumping into a full blown relationship. If this message sparks your curiosity, My email address is....."

First of all, I told her to write the guy back and ask if the toe-tag at the city morgue would be included with dinner.  Something tells me that liver and fava beans is on the menu.  I also told her to hang onto this email address, in case women begin to disappear in the Vegas area.  Really?  Who would respond to this?  It’s like a recipe for being hacked up into a million pieces! 

Secondly, he’s essentially looking for a hooker.  Not only is he weird, but he must be stupid! Doesn’t he know that prostitution is legal in Vegas? 

People are just so clueless.  How has stupidity become the number one epidemic in this country?  Forget obesity.  I would rather we were all fat than stupid.  How does someone become so socially retarded that they even THINK of writing a message like this? 

Hope you got a kick out of it…..I sure did.

Here’s the Word of the Day:

polysemous

adjective;

1.

Having a diversity of meanings.