The Bionic Woman

I think that I might really be the Bionic Woman.  Don’s always been amazed about how light I sleep and now I know that it’s due to my super powers that were given to me to fight crime!  We used to laugh because whenever he’d be out late and come home he’d see me sitting there—eyes open and smiling, wide awake.  He’d ask if I’d been awake the entire time and I would say “No, I heard you come in.”  He was so quiet that the only thing that I could have heard is the carpet crunching.   A couple of nights ago he opened a drawer downstairs and I got up to make sure that it wasn’t a robber.  The fact that I can hear a pin drop while I’m sleeping doesn’t shock us anymore, but last night surprised us both.  Don was working on the computer until 3 am last night.  Around midnight I woke up and came downstairs.  I said “What’s that funny smell?”  He said that he didn’t smell anything.  I wandered around downstairs trying to figure out where it was coming from.  It was faint, but putrid.  My nose led me to the kitchen and sure enough, I had smelled a tiny rubber dish burning at the bottom of the dishwasher.  Don and I couldn’t believe that I had smelled it in my sleep and yet he had been sitting downstairs and it had still gone undetected.  Women must grow X-ray eyes and radioactive ears when they become moms or something because it’s ridiculous!  A tornado could have been pummeling through the neighborhood when I was 19 and I wouldn’t have heard, but a year later I can hear the grass growing out my bedroom window! 

Man, my kids are going to HATE me when they’re teenagers! 

Here’s the Word of the Day:

splenetic \spli-NET-ik\, adjective:

1. Irritable; peevish; spiteful.
2. Of the spleen.
3. Archaic: Affected with, characterized by, or tending to produce melancholy.