If you have followed my blog consistently for at least a few months, you know a few things about me by now. First of all, you know that I successfully watched all eleven seasons of “Cheers” in a disturbingly short amount of time. Second, you know that for three years I have had a fat squirrel hiding nuts in the insulation in my attic. If you have been reading, you know that I refer to this stupid rodent as “Chris Farley”.
About a week ago I saw Don run to the backyard with the BB gun. When he came back in, I asked him if he was trying to shoot Chris Farley. He said no. Instead, he was trying to scare off the Woodpecker pounding away at the side of the house. I told him that I had heard something strange, but I assumed that it was our gluttonous squirrel.
I just heard the pecking again and ran outside to scare the dumb bird. I was expecting to see Woody the Woodpecker, and what I scared off instead was a tiny bird that didn’t at all look like a cartoon. It didn’t even have any red on it! I was disappointed to see such a scrawny bird and a GIANT HOLE IN SIDE OF THE HOUSE! I am so angry. I am telling you right now…….I am going to kill that bird. I am seriously about to get out my camo pants and put some black paint under my eyes, whatever it is that hunters do, go get Logan’s BB gun and hunt down these stupid critters. I don’t even go into the attic because every time I begin to climb up the stairs, I picture Chevy Chase running around with a flying squirrel on his back and I am afraid that next time it’ll be me. These freeloading animals are going down! I am so mad!
On another note, I had decided months ago to give myself a break between watching “Cheers” and “Frasier” because I was dreaming about Norm and drinking beer. I figure it’s been long enough, so I started watching “Frasier” today. I am hooked. I don’t know why I didn’t watch these shows when they were on-air. Oh, yes I do— I was like 12. I just watched an episode where Frasier talks about one of his pet peeves. He hates when people say that something is to be taken literally when they clearly mean that it should be taken metaphorically— I chuckled to myself. I HATE when people mix this up. If you mean metaphorically, don’t say “He was literally bouncing off the walls, he ate so much sugar.” I also couldn’t care less if it irritates people that it irritates me. I know it isn’t just me that is annoyed by this mistake. My brother is equally irritated by this “expression.” That’s the whole thing…..it isn’t an expression, it has an actual meaning. It should only be said to stress that something really happened the way that you are verbalizing that it happened. So unless you really mean that you ate 186,000 donuts in two minutes, don’t say that you literally ate 186,000 donuts in two minutes! I am not talking to you, my readers. I am talking to the air. I am talking to those people out there who say literally 28 times a day incorrectly, literally. Just kidding. It irritates my brother and me so much that we say ridiculous things to each other like “I literally ran so fast that I had a heart attack” and “I literally like have 12,000 babies every time I get pregnant.”
By the way, isn't this funny? I found it on the Internet. Rihanna's hair DID look like Woody the Woodpecker, didn't it? Oh, what people spend their time doing online.....so funny.
By the way, isn't this funny? I found it on the Internet. Rihanna's hair DID look like Woody the Woodpecker, didn't it? Oh, what people spend their time doing online.....so funny.
Anyway, have a fantastic day! Here’s the Word of the Day. You know I had to do it:
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