Best Way to Win an Argument

Have you ever noticed that people on TV and in movies have the most sensitive stomachs?  They barf at the most convenient and dramatic moments.  In TV Land, emotion is so raw that it makes you physically ill precisely the moment that you feel something other than happiness.  Just imagine—you are walking around all joyful, enjoying a scone and coffee, when suddenly your significant other says something that upsets you, and an instant, you barf!

You would never lose a fight if you could vomit on cue.    It is the best way to win an argument!

“You spend too much money on shoes.”  BARF.

“Your brother's a douchebag.” BARF.

“Your lasagna sucks." BARF.

Case closed, you win.

The reason that I am talking about this most random topic is because I was just watching an episode of “Sex and the City”.  I think it’s called “Just Say Yes” or something like that.  It’s the one where Carrie sees the disgusting, marquise diamond with a gold band while Aiden is singing in the shower.  This ring is every woman’s worst nightmare so I can understand her being upset, but she looks at it and throws up.  Seeing blood and guts, fine, throw up.  Seeing a piece of hideous jewelry my dog would refuse to wear?  Break up with the poor bastard and go get a sandwich.    

She sneaks, She sees, She pukes.

A couple of weeks ago I caught another episode on E!.  (I have seen them all, but I constantly re-watch them.)  Carrie runs into Big at that stupid, hoedown party in the Hamptons.  He is with the tall idiot, Natasha, who writes “Wish I could have been their” instead of “there”.  Remember her?  Anyway, Carrie runs out to the beach and says to Miranda “I saw Big and he’s with his new girlfriend.  She’s 25.”  As soon as the number “25” slips off of her lips, so does the puke.  It’s ridiculous.  I love the writers of this show, but seriously, it’s so awful that they wrote in the puke-fests.  Carrie is this strong and confident character, yet she pukes when she thinks of her ex-boyfriend with someone younger!  I hate her vomiting impulses.  They're so stupid!

Right after she throws up. 
"What will I do?  I'm old!  Oh, just kill me, Miranda!"

I think I am going to try this with Don! 

“Britt, can you please not talk so much?”  BARF.  I’m a shoo-in.

The Word of the Day is below.  I decided to use "shoo-in" because people always get this one wrong.  It makes sense that people assume it is "shoe in" like "a shoe in the door, sure to win."  That is not correct.  "Shoo-in" is the proper spelling.  The word originally meant "a horse that was meant to win" not because it was talented, but because the race was fixed.  The horse is no good, so it has to be "shooed in to win."  I think it originated in the 30's.

shoo-in

1. a person or thing that is certain to win or succeed

2. a match or contest that is easy to win