Mean

I have found that one of the worst things about mothering, if not the worst part, is biting your tongue when someone is mean to your child.  It's equally difficult teaching your kid not to be nasty, but instead a graceful and dignified little person.  It’s hard because none of the kids know how to socialize yet, and even if they are doing it “wrong”, it’s a normal part of the process.  It's such a delicate matter because on one hand, you don't want to teach your kid not to stand up for themselves—no one wants to raise a doormat—but you also don't want them to stoop down to the mean kid.  You have to be very careful to give sound advice when all you really want to say is “You tell that little brat……!”  SOMEONE has to be the adult, and sometimes it sucks.

If you have a girl, well, just appreciate those pre-school play dates because once they hit real school, it just gets more difficult every year.  You aren't ever completely sure who did what, if your kid is being overly sensitive, not sensitive enough, and if you are like me—you know that your daughter is nasty too sometimes and then have to worry about being there for her when she really is innocent and truly being picked on.  You don’t want to make your kid feel horrible and put them down, but you don’t want to coddle them—I realize now why everyone always told me that girls are so much harder than boys.  Boys are different.  They don't hold onto everything the way that girls do.  Honestly, a punch in the face is a lot better than the emotional scars and eating disorders that girls sometimes develop as a result of being picked on.  Girls are so horrible to one another.  My friend has a theory that if women ruled the world, there wouldn't be wars, we'd just give each other the silent treatment.  "Nobody talk to France, ok?  She's trading with China behind our backs."  That's funny, but seriously, did anything suck more than the silent treatment?  Being treated as if you don't exist is so awful and girls always do it to each other!

My hairdresser told me that when someone says something mean to you, you should just look at them and say “WOW.”  And that’s it; don’t say anything else.  I think that it’s brilliant because you aren’t being mean, but you are leaving it open to the meanie’s interpretation while standing up for yourself.  That mean person knows what they did because they meant to do it, so there isn’t any point in telling them that they were successful in hurting you.  They already know and they are happy about it!  Lindsey said that it works.  There was a girl on her bus last year who always made fun of what she was wearing.  Lindsey dresses very cute and has a thousand clothes thanks to her Grammy.  There’s no reason that this little girl should’ve been making fun of her, other than plain old-fashioned jealousy.  She finally used this line and the girl shut up. 

Personally, I like the Taylor Swift song. The link to the video is at the end of the post, if you want to watch it.  “Why you gotta be so mean?”  I think that’s good.  What can you say to that?  I'm not? Because I have no soul?  Because I suck?  Because my mom’s a b**** and like mother like daughter?

I try to remember that children learn by our behavior, not by what we say.  This is the single reason why everyone complains about their parents when they grow up.  It’s impossible for us to be perfect models because we were kids like five minutes ago and we’re human.  When I was in high school my parents were in their 30's and now I realize that they probably didn't feel very old and that they were human.  All we can do is take on one day, one situation, and one mean girl at a time.  We should also be honest with our kids.....there will always be mean girls, so you may as well learn to deal with them at 9. 

http://youtu.be/jYa1eI1hpDE

*By the way, I made chili yesterday morning and this is what little boys do while their mommy is cooking......they are so easy to please.  Boys are so wonderful. I was really watching my feet.  I was waiting for those cans to come tumbling down on my toes, but they never did, thankfully.

Why even buy toys when you have cans and boxes?  Haha.

Look at those smiles!  They were so proud of themselves! 

altruistic \al-troo-IS-tik\, adjective:

1. Unselfishly concerned for or devoted to the welfare of others.
2. Animal Behavior. Of or pertaining to behavior by an animal that may be to its disadvantage but that benefits others of its kind, often its close relatives.