How To Deal with a Man Mood

 



This is great. 

I posted something I shouldn't have on Facebook a couple of days ago.  I shouldn't have because it was sexist...but it was also true, so oh well.  I said "I wish I had the luxury of putting on a calendar when a man will be in a bad mood like men can do with women. We're at a serious disadvantage here. Man moods never make any sense to me. Just come out of nowhere!!!"  Well, they don't come out of nowhere because when a man is in a bad mood, it's because he too has feelings and there are external forces affecting him.  However, from a girl's perspective, the worst part about a man mood is that he doesn't like to admit that he is in fact, in a bad mood.  Then once he finally admits that he is, when you ask him why, he says "Nothing" or "I don't want to talk about it". Ok.  So how do you deal with a man mood? Here's a list of things to remember, and please tell me if I am wrong, men......

1.  Be there but don't hover.  I don't know about you but I don't want someone poking at me and being angry because I am quiet or snippy.  If he says he doesn't want to talk about it, respect that.  Say "Ok, well I am here if you change your mind."  I think it's ok to check in on him, but pretty much go do something else until he is ready to talk about it or move on. 
2. Be empathic.   How do you feel when you are in a bad mood?  Try to be understanding.  We're all grouchy sometimes. It sucks.
3. Make him food.  I make men sound like cavemen, but I have never seen anything like when a man is hungry.  Sometimes it's just their blood pressure.  They also feel loved when you make them something to eat.  It sounds so stupid, but it's true.  Maybe while he's cooling off and you are not hovering, go make him something and then come back and say "Hey, I made this _____ for you.  If you want it, it's there, if not that's ok." 
4. Do something helpful.  I know that when I am in a bad mood, it's usually due to the fact that I am simply overwhelmed.  Do something for him that will take a load off.  
5. Be sweet.  Now is really not the time to call him a dickhead or an ass, even if he is totally being one.  All that will happen is that you will get into a bigger fight about something you know is already true....he's being a dickhead and he's being an ass.  Just say "Ok, well, let me know if you want to talk" and go do something else.  You don't have to add anything like "Sorry for asking, asshole" or anything that will make them feel bad for turning your sweetness down.  It's just a mood, not the end of the world. Being huffy when a man is in a bad mood is pretty much the worst thing you can do.  You may as well shoot yourself.  Think about when you are stressed out and you ask your kid to go make her bed and she scowls and huffs.  It's infuriating.  You may as well tell a man that he is never allowed to have feelings and that you would prefer him to be perfect all the time....no pressure at all!! 
6. Sex.  I think that this depends on the guy.  I would usually say something funny and assume that all sexual acts will help all men because men think with their penises, but some men get so stressed out that you're going to have to do some other things to even get him to sleep with you.  Some guys are the opposite.  They have sex in order to relieve stress.  It depends on the guy. 
7. Give him a back rub. Duh. 
8. Don't be judgmental, listen, and execute.  Men have feelings too, but here's where women miss the mark...men already know they have feelings and they know what they are.  They don't want to talk about their feelings.  Think about what happens when you talk to a man about how you feel or a problem you're facing....what does he do?  He listens and automatically tries to fix it for you.  Sometimes you get mad because you feel like he is judging you and your actions and you say that you just want to vent and you don't need him to fix it.  Men are so confused about this because they naturally need the exact opposite.  It just doesn't compute.  They only talk about things once they realize that  they need help.  So if he deems you as a capable and intelligent mate and feels like you may have some insight into solving his issue, he will ask you.  If you just want to talk about his feelings, you may as well go bake some cookies. 

I think when dealing with men, it's important to respect them for their differences and to understand that we really are wired differently.  If we can learn that there are some things that just simply aren't going to change, then we're probably closer to finding a solution in our relationships.  Tomorrow I will write about what to do when a girl is in a bad mood.