Girl Code

Girls who make statements like "I hate girls, they're all drama", in my opinion, are missing out on some amazing relationships.  In my opinion, they are doing one of two things or both:  1.) They are either drama themselves or 2) They are not picking the right girls to be friends with.  While it is true that girls can be drama, I can honestly say that  I don't have friends like that. When I have, they don't get far with me.  (Or I don't get far with them because I do something unknowingly to set off their dramatic flair and then I shrug my shoulders and say "Meh" because I ultimately don't care.)

All my bitches love me and I love all my bitches because we understand and abide by Girl Code:
(by the way, I totally sounded like Lil Wayne when I said that.)

1. Chicks Before (A Word That Rhymes with Sticks): You want to know why Brea and I have stayed friends all of these years?  We established a rule when we were 15.  We told each other that we would never let a guy come between us, period.  We went even further by deciding that even if we HATED each other's boyfriends, and trust me, we have in the past, we would keep our mouths shut until the other asked for an opinion.  I married Brea's cousin, we're now divorced, and Brea and I just got matching tattoos.  Trust me, our relationship is solid because we put each other first, and sometimes putting someone first means having to deal with situations or people you don't like.  In the end, I know that there is always at least one person who is there and she knows the same. We can say anything to each other because we know it's always in each other's best interest.
2. Venting is allowed, judging is not. Sometimes we need to cry and cuss it out.  Sometimes we aren't ready to be logical and calm and our best friends know that.  We need to be able to let everything out, without judgment, and once we calm down, we will ask for a fresh take on it because why?  Because we are ready.  Venting is a necessity for us and it's something that men don't seem to understand.  I remember when I was married, I often said to my husband "I'm just talking about something, I don't need you to fix it or offer up a solution!"  Poor men, they just don't understand us and it's because they are trouble-shooters.  I get it.  They simply can't comprehend that talking about something can itself be the solution.  Sometimes we also need each other to drag the venting out....what I mean is this: I am not always the first one to say that I am not ok.  I will never forget the time Brea told me that it wasn't normal that I hadn't cried all year (when I should have) and before I knew it, I was crying on the phone and I finally started to deal with some things.  My friends know when my smile is hiding something and they push me when I need it.
3. Blood Is Not Thicker Than Water. My girlfriends have been part of my family since I was a child.  I would take a bullet for them. 
4. Take Care of Each Other (even after death). Ok, so one of my girlfriends and I have a deal that goes something like this: if we look horrendous in our caskets, close it.  If we die, break into the corpse's house and collect and burn anything embarrassing-this can be anywhere from deleting text messages to throwing away all sexual contraband and crotchless panties.  We also have a deal that if we happen to die from something humiliating (like Toxic Shock Syndrome), we plot a massive cover-up and tell everyone that we died from something else. 
5. Have Each Other's Backs. If someone says something about one of my friends, my friend can rest assured that I will have their back.  This rule also becomes extremely important when drinking and partying.  You watch out for your friends and you protect them at all costs.  I once got thrown into a paddy-wagon because I wouldn't leave my sister when she was being harassed.  That's a long story, one that did not leave me with a record (thank God) but anyway, if you are my friend....believe me when I say that I have your back, even if I am about to get handcuffed for it. My friends have all had my back as well.  My friend, Katie, once witnessed a boyfriend grab my arm too hard and that led her to scream "Don't ever touch her again!' Before I knew it, she'd punched him in the face and he flew backwards over a chair.  She grabbed me and said "We're leaving. Now!!!" And we left. See, when you have friends like this, you know you have each other's backs and you trust them.  You take their opinions into consideration before you do anything.  I never argued with her.  I left without saying goodbye to the prick and that was that.
6. Keep Secrets Secrets. This is pretty simple. You take stuff to the grave, period.