I often find myself writing about love and sex and relationships. More specifically, I write about trying to balance your heart and your head and your body because I find the war between the three of them incredibly fascinating. I find the differences between men and women intriguing. I find it hilarious that sometimes we don't know why the hell we do the things we do and continuously make bad decisions and can't explain them. When it comes to love and attraction, we sometimes throw logic right out the window. We chase commitment phobic people. We are attracted to people who aren't good for us. We aren't attracted to the ones who are. We friend zone the wrong people and want to behave differently. We aren't in love with people we love. We say things like "it's just not there" to our girlfriends when they push a good man on us and we continue to be in love with the wrong ones. None of any of it makes sense and no matter how much you know about what you should do, sometimes you don't. Why is this? Are we animals? Gluttons for pain and punishment? Why is it that people who fear commitment can't explain exactly why? Could it be simply biological?
So this first post is pretty simple and it got my head moving in a bunch of different directions......
Take something simple like cuddling after sex. More commonly, women want to snuggle and men want to roll over and go to sleep. Why is this? Wouldn't it save a lot of people a lot of grief to know that it's nothing personal when a man doesn't want to snuggle, but it's just biological? Ok, so here's the deal....Physical exertion during sex depletes the muscles of energy-producing glycogen, which leads to drowsiness and since men typically have more muscle mass than women, they are more likely to feel the effects than women are. In addition, there's a protein that affects dopamine levels in men called prolactin that is released after ejaculation....this can also cause lethargy.
To add to that, after you have an orgasm, you release oxytocin. Oxytocin is also called the "love drug" and bonds the man and woman. Scientists say that the release of this chemical is the reason why it's crucial for couples to have sex regularly. Oxytocin is also released when a woman nurses her baby, bonding her to the child. My question is this: how much oxytocin do women release versus men? I think that this is very important and I have not found the answer yet. Are a man's levels of oxytocin lower than that of the prolactin and that's why he doesn't snuggle after sex? I read that a woman releases more immediately after sex and a man releases more over time. This could also account for the reason that women can't have sex with no strings attached as easily as a man can and why a man takes a longer time to commit than a woman. Women, if you think about it, could this simple biological process mean that if we use our brain and sleep with someone we SHOULD be with, could we ultimately fall in love because we produce oxytocin with the person?
It's important to sleep with someone who is good for you for a couple of reasons biologically....Dopamine and serotonin are released, which have an effect on you like cocaine and amphetamines do. So my question is...can you become addicted to a person, or the feelings you get when you are with him or her? And could you actually be addicted to that person you know you shouldn't be with?
Here's what I find most interesting....
Vasopressin, a chemical related to the cuddle hormone, oxytocin, is also released after sex. Vasopressin is linked with long-term commitment and is nicknamed the "Monogamy molecule". Scientists have found that variations in vasopressin are linked to monogamy and promiscuousness. In other words, it is speculation that people who are afraid of commitment could produce lower levels of vasopressin. People who release higher levels are more likely to commit long-term.
The meadow vole, a slutty little mouse who slept with every furry ass he could find while ignoring his children and family to get some literal tail, was very different than his cousin, the prairie vole. The prairie vole is a one-woman-rodent. Vasopressin was found in the prairie vole and not in the meadow vole. Scientists injected the meadow vole with vasopressin and he changed. He only had eyes for one vole. He could not even be tempted by another vole when he was injected with the vasopressin.
So when are we going to start producing this stuff?
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