How To Deal With a Chick Mood

Don't do this!  But it's funny, ha ha.

The reason I am having a hard time writing this is that I don't think you should "vent" to men and this is what men kind of assume we are doing when we have a bad day and want to talk.  The term "vent" had to be invented to describe a woman's need to communicate things she shouldn't say in church, she doesn't really mean, can't take back, or say to someone's face. Venting is part of a girl's Prison Prevention Program and the reason that we don't have to pay for therapy.  Venting is how we sort out our emotions in order to visualize a more logical framework.  Venting is the initial stage in determining whether we are going to move forward and act on whatever it is we are feeling.  Men simply don't understand that we would kill them without "venting" to our girlfriends and that we do dump most of this energy on our girlfriends because we know men don't understand the need to vent.

So why do men not understand that if we come to them, that's not what we are doing?  We need three things from you and that's to feel: 

• Loved
• Acknowledged and listened to
• Secure

If I am moody, I usually go to yoga, take a shower, listen to music, write, and pretty much want to be left alone.  Sometimes I want to talk and sometimes I don't, but I will talk to someone if I want to.  Normally if I screw up and act like an ass, it's because I feel like someone is making me talk and I said I didn't want to. However a woman deals with it, I think this is how a man should respond...

1.  Give her a hug and a kiss. For most of us, this disarms us and makes us feel comforted.
2. Ask her if she wants to talk about it.  And hide the fact that you're thinking "Please say no.  Please say no."  Ha ha.  No, really, be concerned.  Try to be helpful and show us that you care about us.
3. Don't assume that she is just going to be a flapping mouth with no point and all emotions.  Go into it with the intent of understanding the message, even if we move too quickly sometimes. 
4. Then Shut up and Listen.
5. Then shut up. 
6. Then shut up. 
7. Then shut up. 
8. Then agree with her. Acknowledge the atrocities of the situation for now.   She is still talking. 
9. Wait for her to appear finished before offering any solutions or asking any questions.  In fact, don't offer any solutions or ask questions until step 10.
10. Ask if she wants advice or if she's got it under control.  This is where you can ask questions to clarify, in case she wants advice.  Some of us do actually want help.  I really don't want a man to just agree with me all the time and the fact that I am talking about it with you means that I need your opinion, and if I don't want your opinion, I will tell you that I don't.  I wouldn't be here if I didn't need help or a hug or to be snuggled.  I would be better off venting to a tree than a man.  I would get the same response, but the tree wouldn't be offended.  Just ask her what she wants from you.  Those of us who aren't a pain in the ass will tell you and we won't make you grovel and beg to help us.
11. Ask if there is anything else you can do for her.  And then do that.
12. Make her laugh.  Ok, so obviously don't laugh AT us, but lighten the mood. There is nothing better than a man I can't stay mad at.  There is nothing better than a man who makes me smile after feeling crappy.    

ONE LAST THING.......For the love of God, if she is mad at you and you are her problem, LISTEN!!!!  She isn't venting.  You're not listening.  There is nothing more irritating than being an emotionally mature and intelligent person and being treated as if you are on the rag and crazy.  Don't assume it will blow over.  There's nothing more irritating than a man thinking you're "bitching" and nagging when you aren't.  Men who lose their wives never have any idea why they left and all women claim to have talked and talked and begged and pleaded for years and years....so go figure. LISTEN.