Passion

"There is no passion to be found playing small-in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."-Nelson Mandela

My mom posted a sweet little note on my wall a few days ago thanking me for her birthday wishes and she said "Do you remember when I didn't want you to leave because I would miss my passion?  Hasn't changed.  I love your passion and joy and they light up my life."  She called me her "Little Ball of Passion" all my life.  She said that if I didn't care about something it got no attention from me, but if I loved something or if I was interested in something, it got all of me and I poured my heart and soul into it.  I never half-ass something or someone that I love.  In one of my favorite movies, one of the characters said that the Greeks didn't write obituaries when someone died.  He said they asked one question: "Did he have passion?"  Passion gets you somewhere, unless you're like me and you sometimes either put it into the wrong things, too many things, or the wrong people.  (At least that's the way I sometimes feel.)

Church was really great this past weekend.  It was about everyone's treasure chest of wisdom, talents, and how to pass those things on rather than hoard them and die with them.  It left me thinking about how I really don't know what God wants me to do and what his plan is for me.  I don't ever want to get knocked down and not try again, and I don't want to be fearful of things that could bring me somewhere unimaginably wonderful.  But to be honest, I don't know what I am supposed to be doing right now. 

I guess I should just put my passion into God and he'll guide me. 

One of my favorite Coldplay songs goes like this:

Lord I don't know which way I am going
Which way the river's going to flow
It just seems that upstream I keep rowing
Still got such a long way to go
Still got such a long way to go

And that light hits your eyes
I know I swear we'll find somewhere
The streets are paved with gold

Bullets fly split the sky
But that's alright sometimes sunlight comes streaming through the holes