Clumsy

Two days ago, I was pushing a shopping cart and I somehow hit my leg on the bottom bar and wound up with a bruise. A profanity may or may not have been shouted because it hurt like a bitch. 

So last night, I topped that clumsiness. I got home from work and it was pitch black when I walked through the door. The alarm was going off and all I could see were the lights from the keypad. I started walking toward it and I ran into a big construction bucket filled with some kind of plaster. Actually that isn't a clear enough picture. I hit the bucket so hard, I ended up straddling the bucket while pretty much airborne and sliding across the floor, out of my heels, and catching my body with my arms. It immediately hurt, but I couldn't help but laugh. I knocked myself out of my heels!!! I know I'm going to have two gigantic bruises on the inside of both my legs because they're already sore.  I was on the phone and the person on the other end heard me scream "ahhhh!" And then I hit END on the way down. When I called the person back, I was laughing so hard, I could barely describe what I'd done. That bucket took my ass for a ride.