Hump Day Top Ten-Sexiest Songs

First of all, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

So some of my friends and I were talking about the sexiest songs, since last week I did "Top 10 Love Songs that Don't Make Me Vomit".  I have taken requests and compiled a list.  I'm sure that there are a lot that we missed, but I only list 10.

Here they come.....


10. So into you, Fabolous featuring Ashanti

http://youtu.be/Ovj2qRtVDhI

9.Nobody, Keith Sweat

http://youtu.be/FMar1ifzdmk

8. Anytime, Anyplace, Janet Jackson-This song is hot.  Especially in the pourin' rain part.

http://youtu.be/jnWPmk76PcU

7. What's My Name, Rihanna and Drake-Any time someone says "What's my name," they mean business.  Enough said.

http://youtu.be/U0CGsw6h60k

6. Whole Lotta Love, Led Zeppelin-Maybe I just have a dirty mind, but I swear he's not just talking about taking a girl to the movies and making her cupcakes. 

http://youtu.be/jRiGOjHFsgg

5. Crash into Me, Dave Matthews Band-I remember when someone told me that there was more to this song that met the ears. Great song.

 http://youtu.be/JU2E1lX1geY


4. Freak Me, Silk

http://youtu.be/XLwW7ZDWn5Y


3. Let's Get it On, Marvin Gaye-Duh.  I almost put "Pony" here instead because this is such an obvious one, but ah well.  It is on every list for a reason.  Sing it, Marvin.

http://youtu.be/18TLHhhHZCA


2. Wicked Games, Chris Issac-Honestly, I don't really like the words all that much, but something about the music is extremely sexy.

http://youtu.be/UAOxCqSxRD0


1. Sex on Fire, Kings of Leon-This is the best song.  Lyrically, musically....hot hot hot.

http://youtu.be/RF0HhrwIwp0


Have a great day!

The Charms of Bretagne

I get a lot of questions about a couple of my necklaces. The charms say "Bretagne".  No one knows what they mean, and why would they?  I thought I would write about it.  Brittany is Bretagne in French.  My mom named me after the French province and her favorite little student, Brittany, back when she used to teach kindergarten.  We both feel like my name has been ruined somewhat since Britney Spears came along.  This may sound snobbish to make fun of Britney Spears, but do I care?  No.  I don't really like Britney Spears.  I don't dislike her with a passion, but I just don't like her.  It isn't really her that irritates me so much, but she has made my life inconvenient.  Everyone for the last 12 or so years has spelled my name incorrectly, even though my version is the original. Any Brittany will tell you, it irks them.  And by the way, she looks like Pac-Man when she laughs, or even better, like a Pez dispenser. 



RARRRRRRR!!!!  Say something funny so I can spit out candy!



See the similarities?

Ha ha ha ha ha

My mom also buys me bracelets and posters.  She recently sent me this....

It says "The Charms of Brittany"

So, if you ever see me with a strange piece of jewelry with a Coat of Arms, that's what's up with that.

Have a great Tuesday!

Weekend Recap

Well, it's freezing this morning and unfortunately, I can't type with mittens, so my fingers are struggling to bang this out.....I really don't like being cold. 

I had a really great weekend.  Saturday night was Haunted Henry's, our Halloween party.  It was a lot of fun.    Sunday I was in my pajamas all day; I hung out at Kerri's house.  We watched "Twilight" and "Magic Mike" and squealed and giggled, as you can imagine.  She had never seen it and I had, but it didn't keep me from slapping pillows and screaming.  Channing Tatum is like a Greek god.  It was really funny because her kids were all upstairs, but her 12-year-old was hanging out on the computer and we had the door closed.  Her 15-year-old came in and we paused the movie.  The 12-year-old said "Why are you pausing the movie, Mom?  I hear all of that cussing!"  The 15-year-old said "No, they paused it because they're watching Magic Mike."  We started cracking up; busted by the teenage boy.  It's weird to see him so grown-up and observant because I met him when he was 6.  Anyway, we lounged around, eating popcorn and talking; it was really fun.  We felt like we were 15 again having a slumber party.  I stayed there last night too and she woke me up with her sweet little voice while she woke her kids up.  "Brittany, it's time to get up!"  Then I had to be an adult and get ready for work.

Here are a few pictures.....

Me and the Boss Man

Alice in Wonderland, a Witch, and an 80's Chick

Haha

The Sultry and the Sweet

I can't wait for Wednesday.  The boys are Woody and Buzz, and Lindsey is a Bumblebee.  I think we dress up for work, but I will skip the skirt dress this time.  I'll probably be a football player or something that doesn't require bloomers. 

Flashback Friday-Bongos

I absolutely HATE Bongos.  Do you remember those?  They are one of the worst things about the 90's....right up there with girls wearing overalls.  Because FARMING was HOT in 1994!  For you lucky bastards who missed them, Bongos came in assorted colors and most girls wore some lame matching floral shirt or bodysuit that SNAPPED AT THE CROTCH.  Yeah, what idiot came up with that?  Snaps that ride up your crotch? So you had snaps riding up your crotch, a permanent wedgie (if you actually had a butt), and PANTY lines on your horribly high-waisted shorts. 

I despise you, Bongos.

Poor Liv.

Vintage...That SUCKS.  Get it here!

As if it wasn't bad enough that people were wearing this square jean vest,
they had to add a big BONGO patch on the back!

Yeah, that's hot.  A 13-year-old girl in the 90's shouldn't have had to endure
"Mom Jeans"

This is actually an UPDATED version from Etsy.  I couldn't really find any
authentic 90's photos because I have to assume that they have all been burned. 

Have a GREAT weekend!

A Little Taste of Brea

For those of you needing a little style in your life, I have a great blog for you!  I have known Brea for half of her life, so I can tell you without a doubt, this blog will be awesome if you are looking for inspiration.  She's just getting started, so you haven't missed much yet.  She has recently quit her job with Abercrombie to stay home with her little ones.  I am so proud of her!  Love you, Brea!

Check it out!

www.alittletasteofbrea.com

Hump Day Top 10 -Love Songs That Don't Make Me Vomit

I am going to start doing something special on Wednesday.  There will be a Top 10 list of some kind, every week.  I do Flashback Friday and I have enjoyed it, so I thought, why not do something special for Wedneday, also known as "Hump Day"?  Getting over the hump with a fun list sounds good to me.
For my 1st official Hump Day 10, I am going to name the Top 10 love songs that don't make me throw up.  I'm not even claiming that they are all-time favorites or that there aren't others that make the list....but these don't make me sick.

When I was a little girl, I used to scrunch up into a ball and feel nauseated when someone made me talk about my feelings.  I love to talk, and I have learned to talk about my feelings, but when I was a kid it was like pulling teeth.  I hated when my mom asked me how I felt about things.  I would say "Nothing!  I feel nothing at all!"   I had to go to a child psychologist to talk about my parents' divorce and many times I wouldn't say anything at all, out of spite.  I hated when my mom made me go.  So back to love songs....some of them make me sick.  Some are so mushy that they give me the creepy crawlies.  Then there are some that just hit the spot....right through my heart.  By the way, they are not all happy.

10. I Can't Make you Love Me, Bonnie Rait-This song is so good.  It's torturous.  It's probably the most realistic love song ever.  If we all mutually loved each other, we wouldn't ever have problems.  How many times are you chasing someone who is chasing someone else? And the person they are chasing is probably chasing someone else.  Very rarely do two people feel entirely mutual in their feelings for each other.  I think about all of the guys who got caught in the friend zone who had feelings for me...now I feel really bad about that. That sucks.  Thanks, Bonnie Rait for making me feel bad.

http://youtu.be/nW9Cu6GYqxo


9. These Arms of Mine, Otis Redding-Awwww.  Love Otis.

http://youtu.be/K-FQL-tJ3ic

8. Secret, Maroon 5-Ok, so he doesn't know her, but he wants to.  It may not be a lovey dovey mushy love song, but it's about sweaty, steamy, passionate car sex.  It's a great song. 

http://youtu.be/eEw1QqxNWAU

7. The Scientist, Coldplay-This is the saddest song, but so sweet.  Think of all of the things you wish you could take back in a relationship.  And you can't.  It's a bitch.

http://youtu.be/EqWLpTKBFcU

6. Green Eyes, Coldplay-When I was in high school I used to complain that there weren't any songs about green eyes.  We have a Brown-Eyed Girl, there are a lot of songs about blue eyes, but none about green.  I have green eyes, so I love this song.  Thanks, Coldplay for showin' love to the green-eyed girls!  By the way, they are actually the most rare, besides purple.  OMG!  Read the comments on this link.  So cute!!!  One guy says "If my girl's eyes were any greener, I'd smoke 'em." hahahaha!  That's awesome.

http://youtu.be/_IApsAHGMk0

5.  All I want is You, U2-I don't even have words for how much I love this song.  It was one of those songs that just, ugh, it never gets old.  I love love love it.  By the way, in plays over one of the best scenes ever in a movie, Reality Bites.  Thank you, Bono.

http://youtu.be/n0ukxqjzZpU

4. Love Song, The Cure-It's simple and it's sweet.  I love it.  Always will. 

http://youtu.be/hXCKLJGLENs

3. In Your Eyes, Peter Gabriel-I don't think I could ever really get tired of this one.

http://youtu.be/B3kFPBtc9BE

2. Mine, Taylor Swift-The reason that this song is on my list is because it always makes me tear up.  The reason is because it's like me; it is written as I would have written it...I have said these exact words all my life.  When I was a teenager and heard that stupid Shania Twain song "Looks like we made it," I said "Ummmm, you can't sing that unless you're on your death bed because everyone gets divorced.  So unless you are going to die, don't sing that."  Even as I post this link and I listen to it, I have goosebumps because it hits my heart so hard.  This guy (in the song) made this girl believe that someone could love her forever, and to someone who is very broken and scared of love, that's so important.  Now if that person who promised to take care of you hurts you, then I don't know what happens to you.  Maybe you never trust again?

http://youtu.be/XPBwXKgDTdE

1. By Your Side, Sade-Ahhhhhh........this is how love should be defined in the dictionary.

http://youtu.be/C8QJmI_V3j4

Why I Love Jenna

I swear, this girl and I would never pay attention to anyone else if we were in the room together.  I say the SAME stuff.  I just realized I have neglected her for a while and got caught up.  It's weird.  It's like I am watching myself, or hearing myself talk.....or I just have a girl crush.  She's awesome.  It's like crushing on myself. 
What Movies Taught Jenna About Love:
http://youtu.be/HakwRDxitvo (Glad to see someone else is as cynical as I am.)

Things Girls Lie About:

http://youtu.be/dp-AxFdUe4A  (We are so retarded.  Thank you, Jenna.)

Girl Crushes:

http://youtu.be/ylVlkv1el3Q (We are majestic.)

Make or Break a Relationship:

http://youtu.be/ynMVcsjS9i8 (I had to fix my mascara after she said "I have no gag reflex, watch this!")

She's so goofy; I love it.

Can't Roll With That

I was driving to work this morning and heard THE dumbest song ever.  I hated it when it came out when I was a teenager, so now I despise it even more. 

Drumroll please?

It is Savage Garden's "I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You".  Can you say STALKER?  That is the worst song EVER!  It's horrible!  You can't love anyone before you know them, unless the individual is in your uterus.  It seriously has to be the worst I-wanna-throw-up-right-now love song of all time.  Let's just break it down right now.  For the first two years of a relationship, you are on a high.  You can't even without a doubt be sure that someone loves you or that you love them until the feelings of euphoria subside and that can take two years (if you're lucky).  Sometimes it only takes a minute or a few weeks or months to decide that someone sucks beyond belief.  So given the fact that you can decide that someone is a psycho, a transvestite, a narcissist, has bad teeth, bad breath, mommy issues, or narcolepsy in a matter of 60 seconds, I would say that it is a very bad idea to say that you love someone before you have even met them.

This brings to mind a scene from one of my favorite movies of all time, "Swingers"......watch and learn. 


http://youtu.be/3ebUwADGORQ


The clip cut off one of my favorite lines....."Can't roll with that.  She's business class."  (Big butt, can't fly coach.)

Flashback Friday-Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board

Do you ever wonder how children end up playing the same childish games as the generation before, yet the parents aren't the ones teaching them?  It's weird.  Much weirder than the phenomenon that when we were in high school, we thought we named the drinking spots in the woods when actually, our parents did.  (Ocala readers: Certified, Canopy, Pyramids.....representin' Slowcala!!!!  LOL). We totally didn't come up with those names.  But seriously, how do little girls play the same things at slumber parties if an adult doesn't teach them?  What adult would teach a kid voodoo games?

Where am I going with this?  Do you remember, girls, that we used to play "Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board?"  Guys, this is what we did at slumber parties when we weren't talking about you and smearing lipstick on the person who passed out after Poltergeist.  (That was me, the kid with narcolepsy.  I woke up to Katie drawing all over me with a look of hatred on her face because I had done it to her a couple of hours before.  HAHA!)  How did we know how to play it if an adult didn't teach us?  Strange!  And this game TOTALLY worked.  You lifted the girl up with just two fingertips! 

The game goes like this; thanks to Wikipedia for saving me time:

One participant lies flat on the floor, and then the others space themselves around him or her, each placing one or two fingertips underneath the participants body. The person closest to the head commonly begins by saying "She's looking ill", which the others repeat; then "she's looking worse" is spoken and repeated back. The general direction of the call-and-repeat describes how the prone person is looking worse and worse, followed by saying "she is dying," and, finally, "she is dead."
Variations of the spoken part of the game occur, with a common modern version the person being lifted is told a story about their death and asked to imagine it happening to him or her. It serves the dual purpose of "freaking out" the participants and convinces the participants that it will be easier to lift this person. All versions end with the phrase "light as a feather, stiff as a board" chanted by the entire group (save for the prone person, who pretends to be dead) as they attempt to lift their companion's body using only their fingertips. Some versions omit the story entirely and only the "light as a feather..." chant is used. Allegedly, after these repetitions, the person being lifted will seem lighter or even entirely weightless.
Another variation of the game takes place with one person seated in a chair. Four volunteers agree to stand around the sitter, two on the sitter's left side and the other two on his/her right. Each of the four places two fingers under each corner of the chair's seat and the four together will attempt to lift chair and sitter, which generally fails. The volunteers will then perform some small ritual, usually involving rubbing their hands together or circling the chair in various direction (counter-clockwise, walking backwards, etc.) After this ritual, the volunteers hold their hands over the sitter's head to "transfer" energy into the sitter which will presumably make him/her weightless. The lifters then retry lifting the sitter the same way as before.

Explanations to the game:

In many versions, each of the (in the example) five people sitting on the other person uses only one or two of his or her fingers on each hand to do the lifting. It is particularly easy to lift a heavy weight when it is evenly distributed amongst a group of four people. The phenomenon of the weight seeming less on the second try around or after some sort of ritual is due to increased focus and the "lifters" being more in sync with one another.
One of the best rational explanations for such reports is that the participants are tricking their minds, by way of the chanting, into believing that the person being lifted is "light as a feather". The body still reacts to the command from the brain, but the mind perceives it differently. Simply put, five (example) people can easily lift one person, especially when those five people are tricking their minds into thinking that the person is light-weight.
Another reason for the apparent success of the levitation is the "self-fulfilling prophesy"  concept. The lifters "know" a human being is too heavy to lift with a fingertip, so subconsciously, they may not exert enough effort on the first attempt. After the "ritual," the participants may believe that the body is now supposed to move, or that the ritual itself has given them power, and therefore they exert enough effort to raise the participant off the ground.

It turns out that the game goes back quite a ways:

The game could be seen played in 17th century London during the plague outbreak.  Samuel  Pepys a naval administrator noted this being performed as a sort of ward against the disease. In his conversation with his friend Mr. Brisband on July 31, 1665, Pepys reported, "He saw four little girles, very young ones, all kneeling, each of them, upon one knee; and one begun the first line, whispering in the ear of the next, and the second to the third, and the third to the fourth, and she to the first. Then the first begun the second line, and so round quite through, and putting each one finger only to a boy that lay flat upon his back on the ground, as if he was dead; at the end of the words, they did with their four fingers raise this boy high as they could reach, and he [Mr. Brisband] being there, and wondering at it, as also being afeared to see it, for they would have had him to have bore a part in saying the words, in the roome of one of the little girles that was so young that they could hardly make her learn to repeat the words, did, for feare there might be some sleight used in it by the boy, or that the boy might be light, call the cook of the house, a very lusty fellow, as Sir G. Carteret's cook, who is very big, and they did raise him in just the same manner." Pepys also spoke of the chant that accompanied this performance.

Those were the days....slumber parties were so much fun, until the one girl started crying.  There was always one girl who cried at every party. 

Have a great Friday!

Why Are These People Famous?

I don't get it.

I'm moving to some remote village where this lady isn't known

You know, I have had beef with Snooki for years now and never said anything because I don't believe she's worth my time, even though she's worth millions.  I didn't want to sound like a snob, but SCREW that.  She is not pretty, she's overweight, and she acts like trash.  I'm sorry, but what am I missing???  She is not a style icon, she didn't sleep with a president, she didn't even kill someone.  Why is she famous?  I don't watch this trash and I try to stay away from it as much as humanly possible and I still hear about her!  Why are we supporting these trashy people who provide nothing of importance to society? Without their fame, all they would accomplish for society would be to help keep tanning salons open and mayonnaise companies in business.  That's it. 

I am being serious.  We have an intelligence problem in this country.  Why do we continue to contribute to train-wreck types of entertainment when there are starving documentary film makers and excellent WRITERS?  These are the people who have something to say!  Turn this crap off!  Stop making yourself feel better by watching someone with major problems!  Maybe there will be less people like Honey Boo Boo and Snooki tomorrow if we educate children today. 

It's gotten out of hand and I am so tired of it.  I mean, do people realize that the brain is an actual muscle that needs to be exercised just like your biceps? 

Sneezing While Driving

I was thinking today about things that we all know suck and don't mention enough.  Sneezing while driving is one of the things that made my mental list. 

I Googled "Sneezing While Driving" to see if anyone else had talked about it and the first hit was this blog entry, which made me giggle.  It's old, but it is really quite funny.

http://www.ruinedmyweek.com/2010/06/sneezing-while-driving.html

This guy talks about things that ruined his week and it looks like it may be entertaining to follow, but I don't have time to follow anyone.  I also have enough things in my life that COULD ruin my week, I don't know if I want to read about someone else's. 

Work was so overwhelming yesterday that I actually asked a guy in the kitchen to hide me in the refrigerator.  We think I'll fit, should the need arise. 

By the way, one of my friends calls a sneeze that sounds like a cough a SNOUGH.  I am so grateful that my sneezes all sound like coughs simply so I can say that I snoughed, since I never get blessed after a sneeze.  No one ever realizes that I'm sneezing.

Have a great day!

Big Girls DO Cry

One of my friends asked me what I would do if I had a friend who needed a shower in the worst way.  I told him that I would say "Dude, you stink.  Take your smelly ass to the shower, ASAP."  Of course, I would only say that if the smelly person is a guy.  Guys are so simple.  Guys can be honest and not make their friends cry.  Guys punch each other and get over it.  Girls backstab and hold grudges.  You can't say things like "you stink" to girls.  We'd jump out of a window.  Of course, we probably wouldn't ever stink that badly either because we aren't disgusting.....or maybe I just have clean friends. 

I know that we all tell each other that we answer every question honestly, but I think that we are liars and that the girls telling the truth 100% of the time probably have no friends.  I might tell one of my friends that I prefer one pair of jeans to another, but there is NO way in hell I am telling the truth entirely.  "Do I look fat in these jeans?"  Can you imagine the bitch who says "YES"?  There is no way I am saying yes, even if you do look fat.  I don't like hurting people.  We all say that we expect our true friends to tell us the truth and we would be mad if we knew the other was lying, but how many of us are totally honest?  I mean, especially with the weight thing.  You should tell your friend she looks like a hooker in that skirt, but there are some times when you should just shut up completely.....one of them is weight. There is no way to say this without being responsible for an eating disorder.  There is also no way of telling your friend that you think she's a slut. 

Why do girls have to be so sensitive?  I for one think it sucks.  Why do we have to take everything so seriously and get our feelings hurt?  My daughter is so sensitive and I wish that I could tell her that it'll go away, but then I would be lying.  I am lucky in some ways because I am usually so oblivious when someone is being mean, it goes over my head and I don't have time to get upset because I assume everyone is nice....unless they call me fat.  When I realize that someone is being mean, I totally get upset.  I go into shock and don't know what to say and then I whine about it later on.  It's like the moment when I realized that not everyone likes the United States all over again.  I said "Who wouldn't like us?  Why do the Muslims hate us?"  When someone is mean to me I think "Why would you do that?  I didn't do anything to you!"  It's like the Universe shifts completely because I don't understand it.  Being oblivious to others is sometimes a gift.  It may make me a complete airhead and a bit of a narcissist (not thinking I have done anything), but it's a gift.  When you have others telling you that you should be upset, you are completely oblivious.  Even when I am upset with someone, I have to call someone to say "Would you be upset or am I being stupid?"

And by the way, I hate crying.  It hurts my throat, I get a stuffy nose, and it makes me feel completely exhausted.  I hold tears in as much as possible because I hate being a girl. 

Guys are so much simpler. 

By the way, as of now, I am in THIRD place in my Fantasy Football League.  What's up, girls!!!!  I am beating the boys!  Who is CRYING now! 

Rest, Brittany, Rest!

I have been very sick all week with a nasty cough, so I did what my body wanted me to do this past weekend.  I rested.  I could hear my body screaming "SIT DOWN AND REST" all week.  I usually ignore it because I don't have a choice.  There's always too much going on. 

After work on Friday I had sushi with a friend and went to the gym and went to bed.  Saturday I went to Lindsey and Logan's game, went to Zumba, got my hair done, took a nap, woke up, did my nails, got Panera and a movie and went to bed.  Actually, I couldn't sleep because I was coughing so badly, so I knocked myself out with NyQuil and woke up a new person.  I felt like a hibernating bear!  That stuff is amazing!  It was awesome.  Yesterday I was a heathen and missed church, but I went to yoga where my instructor called our bodies our temples (heehee, she's so cute).  I cleaned my house, did my laundry, and went to bed at a decent time.

This morning was dark and dreary and I didn't want to get out of my warm bed, but I did.  And I feel SO much better after sleep and rest.  Imagine that!

Have a great Monday.

Flashback Friday-R. Kelly

I got my keychain stuck between the ignition and the key yesterday.  As a result, I had that R. Kelly song stuck in my head all day.  "It's the remix to ignition, hot and fresh off the kitchen, mama rollin' that body got every man in here wishin', sippin on coke and rum, I'm like so what I'm drunk.  It's the freakin weekend baby I'm about to have me some fun!" 

R. Kelly makes me turn into a 13-year-old girl.  It makes me so silly.  (I guess R. Kelly appeals to the 13-year-olds.)  My sister, Ashli, and I love hearing R. Kelly because we're so goofy, it's like we've sucked a tank of laughing gas and decided to sing.

Heeeheeeheeeheeheeeee..........

http://youtu.be/y6y_4_b6RS8

Oh, and this is always fun......My mind's tellin' me NOOOO!


http://youtu.be/83j4ICes2i4

Things I've Learned on Facebook

I revolted against Facebook for many years.  One, I don't like psycho stalkers  who look around at people because they are bored.  It's creepy and I know that people do it.  Two, I don't like Mark Zuckerberg, like AT ALL.  Three, I just didn't want to be part of a community of people who only communicate through Mark Zuckerberg's stolen invention and ignore all other conduits for socialization.  (Like the phone and email, or even face to face.)  Obviously, I have caved, since I know a few things about Facebook now.  (25 years later than everyone else.) What can I say? I am a stubborn ass and a loser.

So I have learned a few things about the system in general, and about the people in my life.

You're never 'PRIVATE':  You can run, but you can't hide on Facebook.  Not even a fake name will keep the dude in your 10th grade Geometry class from finding you.  (Not that I know about this.)

I have some friends who should be comedians: There are certain people who are even funnier than I had originally thought.  I LOVE watching this.  I know some awesome people.

I also know some people who suck more than I thought.......


The Debbie Downer Poster:  I have been wondering....you know that old expression "You are what you eat"?  What if when talking about Facebook, you are what you post?  I have some friends who are so damn negative and I would never have noticed had I not gotten on Facebook.  I almost want to block some of these people because of the crap that they go on and say.  They use it as a platform to vent about how crappy life is.  How about "you're depressing and shut up".

Crazy People: I know some bat-sh** CRAZY people.  These people also don't speak in full sentences, which results in even more confusion.  Most of the time I scratch my head, shrug my shoulders, and keep scrolling to find something that one of my awesome comedian friends has posted.  If I am feeling frisky, I comment and say "What are you talking about?"  You never get an answer, because they don't know.

I am just as random as this blog: I post random, not so deep thoughts, on Facebook.  I named my blog Haphazard Daily for a reason.  My mind floats off and ponders constantly.....

Don't talk Politics on Facebook: It isn't worth it. 

Posting Pictures is WAY easier than email: This is probably the best thing about Facebook.  I hate emailing pictures to people.

Twitter is sometimes tied in with Facebook: I hate Twitter and I hate sentences that contain pound signs.

FB saves time: I don't have to call 25 family members to tell them one tiny thing that they probably only SORT of care about, if at all.  I have a big family.  (Divorce will do that.)  I don't have enough time in a year to talk to all of my family the way that I should.  Facebook helps with that.

Don't be friends with your Grandma: My sister posted a picture of a girl filing a piece of paper into a cabinet.  It said "Sure!  Let me file that under things I don't give a flying F*** about" and my grandma got very upset about it.  I then commented on the picture saying "You're so bad, Ashli!  Stop being so vulgar!"  She loved that.  My grandma also got upset about me losing my shoes and being hungover after my birthday.  She called my mom and said that I was the only normal one and she wasn't going to lose her one normal grandchild.  I had to call her and let her know that I wasn't an alcoholic. 


That's pretty much what I have for the day!  I hope that you are all shaking your head saying "Yeah, I could have told you that seven years ago" rather than disagreeing with me.  Like I said, I am a stubborn ass. 

Ode to Elton

I have a confession to make.  When I am really stressed out, I play Enya....and Elton John. 

I sing Elton John to my kids before they go to sleep at night; I always have.  I sang "You're song" to Logan and Lindsey when they were little, and I sing it to the boys as well.  Also on the list, I sing "Daniel", "Tiny Dancer" and "Rocket Man".  My kids love Elton John and it's sort of our thing.  Lindsey is my "Tiny Dancer".  The boys call it "Lulu's song". 

So I have been a little frantic lately, for a lot of reasons.  There have been a lot of changes in my life lately, a lot to get used to and balance, so I've been listening to a lot of Elton John.

Here's a link for my baby girl.....she's my Tiny Dancer.  I am really proud of her; she has her first pointe class today. 

http://youtu.be/hoskDZRLOCs

Lindsey, if you ever read this, I so enjoy watching you dance.  I was never as focused as you are at 11 and to get to pointe, you have to be strong and dedicated.  I am so very proud of you for always knowing what you love and throwing yourself into it.  You've been a dancer since you were in diapers, and I hope that you always have a love for it! 

Things I Hate Doing

Yesterday one of my friends noticed that I always need gas and we started talking about why.  That has inspired a blog entry. 

I consider myself to be a pretty patient person and not much of a complainer.  However, there are some things in life that I just don't like doing and I realize that I risk sounding like an idiot by writing them down right here, right now, but that's never stopped me before from admitting things I shouldn't.  I know that everyone hates some things for stupid reasons and I just choose to have a blog and talk about them. 

1. Pumping gas.  It's boring and I don't like sitting around waiting for it to fill up. I don't like standing there and smelling it, I don't like freezing in the cold, I don't like standing there when it's 95 degrees.....I just don't like doing it.  The worst moment while pumping gas is when I have to look at the pump and see how much money it takes to fill up my tank.  I don't like buying gas because I know that there are ways that we COULD be making our cars move and not have to contribute to the oil problem.  We are fighting with the Middle East, and yet we're their bitch.  Oh, and China's too, but let's not get into that.  I think about the fighting that results from oil, the rich bastards making money from it, and then the simple fact that I will just have to fill it up again in a couple of days.  It just makes me angry.  I find that it helps to just put in 20 or 30 dollars at a time and then I trick myself into thinking that I am not spending that much on gas.  However, it doesn't work very well, because I have to stop more often.  Also, I think that the gas evaporates and I end up having to buy more than I would if I would just fill the stupid thing up.  I just want a segway.  I don't care how stupid they look.  I would rock one.
2. Reading instructions.  When I say this, I mean, instructions of any kind.  I don't like instructions.  They are boring to read, they usually don't make any sense, and then I always do it wrong anyway.  I like to eyeball the product and figure it out myself, but then that results in damaging the product or never learning how to use it properly.  I realize, this is idiotic and a completely ADD-related thing, but it is what it is.
3. Cleaning the shower.  Is there a suckier or more dangerous thing to clean in your home?  My shower is enclosed.  I first spray toxic chemicals and then scrub the shower with my face an inch away from the chemicals.  I am probably inhaling carcinogens and killing brain cells in the pursuit for a cleaner shower.  Also, there is never really a way to get the cleaner all off because you depend on a shower head that doesn't swivel to the far corners. 
4. Using a level to hang pictures.  I don't like using levels or stud finders. I eyeball it and it works, ten holes later.
5. Math. I don't even like figuring out a tip.  The present pangs of panic in my chest are a result of seeking help from my dad, any teacher, and every tutor from the age of nine to twenty-something.  I can get downright hot and sweaty when numbers are sitting in front of me and I patiently await someone to call me an idiot.  Thanks, Dad, for slamming my Algebra book on the ground and telling me I am "hopeless"!  I never disagreed. 

Have a great day! 

Weekend Recap

I love those moments when you realize that your children are paying attention to you.....and then that sort of scares me too, since I am not perfect and I am not always the BEST example.  I hate that they witness the "do as I say, not as I do" approach sometimes, but I am only human.

I was carrying Carson in the grocery store over the weekend and he saw a picture of Spongebob Squarepants and he said "Mama."  He grabbed my cheeks and turned my head toward his little face like he always does.  He said "Spongebob makes people dumb."  I laughed and said "Yes, Carson!  That show DOES make people dumb!"  It was so cute and proof that the kid misses nothing.  I would squeeze my boys all day long if I could; they are both so adorable.  I pretty much did just that for three and a half years when I was home with them. 

Carson was particularly adorable this weekend, kissing and hugging me and saying "I miss you, Mama."  Can you take it?  Geez, so sweet.  I feel my heart clench sometimes from being with them.  When they do something cute, I don't know how to describe it.  Anyway, that same day, Carson told Lindsey that I have two names.  "Mama" and "Bittany".  I have never heard a kid say my name and it NOT be adorable.  They can't say Brittany for some reason and it always sounds so cute.  My niece calls me "Aunty Brinty" and I hope she never fixes it.

We had a good weekend.  Friday night we chilled at home and got to bed early.  Saturday morning we had to get up very early for the kids' game; it was at 9 am, but it was 25 minutes away and we had to be there at 8:15.  We would have been on time, but Lindsey realized (10 minutes down the road) that she didn't have her cheer shoes.  I had to turn around and get them, which made us late and she had to sit out for a quarter for punishment.  (Squad's rule, not mine.)

After the game (we won, by the way), Lindsey and I went to get her pointe shoes.  She starts pointe on Wednesday.  Trying on pointe shoes takes about an hour because feet are all so different.  Here are a couple of pictures:

She says that this doesn't hurt!

On pointe in her cheerleading uniform. 
Think it's time to choose something???  I DO!

Carson pooped in his pants while we were in the dance shop, which was lovely.  I don't even care to talk about that and I am sure you're happy about that!  After the dance shop, we went to buy a birthday present for Lindsey's friend; Lindsey went to a slumber party that night.  Logan had a friend over that same night and we got movies, pizza and cupcakes.  We watched "Puss in Boots" and "The Hunger Games".  I didn't like "Hunger Games" at all.  I had to watch it with Lindsey on Sunday too, which sucked for me, but I did it anyway.

We chilled yesterday and I did laundry and cleaned the house. 

That was my weekend!  Rest, time with the kids, and lots of little smiles.  I love my kids' smiles.  So precious. 

Flashback Friday, Homecoming

Lindsey and Logan went to Homecoming last weekend.  They are only in 6th grade, but they got to go to the middle school's Homecoming because he plays football and she cheers and they are all part of the same booster club.  I was with the girls in Tampa when I got these pictures and I started crying.  First of all, they are so big now.  Secondly, Lindsey looked so pretty.  Kerri did her hair and makeup because I was going to be out of town, and because she does an amazing job.  Lindsey got a professional stylist for her first Homecoming.  Not too shabby!  Since it's Flashback Friday, I have posted a link to one of my favorite songs ever, and my baby sister's favorite too.  Actually, all of my sisters and I LOVE this song.  I don't know what is up with the spacing, by the way.....

With their tickets

Kerri took this to show me her makeup

I mean, her hair is ridiculous, right????  Beautiful.

Pretty girl.

Doesn't Logan look so handsome?



Have a great Friday!

Just Like Heaven, The Cure......

http://youtu.be/RS_ux2H473I

Playing Catch-Up, yet again......

I'm kind of wondering if I am going to have change the name of this blog to "Haphazard Weekly" with the way that I am NOT writing.  There really aren't enough hours in the day.  I get up at 5:50; the big kids leave at 6:35, and then I head out the door at 8:00, drop the boys off around 8:15 and head to work.  I leave after 5:00 most of the time, and Lindsey has dance sometimes until 9:00 (yes, at night).  I go to the gym pretty much every day, and we all grab something to eat, spend a little time together, and crash.  Well, crash isn't really the right word.  I fall asleep around midnight because I am usually so wound up, and the boys may fall asleep around 10:30.  I spend the time that I do have snuggling with the boys because I am going through withdrawal.  I miss my kids like crazy, even though I really love my job.  Anyway, there is no time to write, so I came to work early today so I could. 

I can't even remember where I left off about Milwaukee, but all I know is that niece was crying and wailing for me when I got out of the car at the airport.  She was screaming "Auntie Brinty, NOOOOO!  I don't want you to leave!"  I got back into the car and gave her kisses and hugs, and then I started crying.  I love her so much.  I had a really great time with everyone.  OH yeah!  I left off on Sunday, I think.  Ash had a birthday dinner at a Middle Eastern restaurant and we went mini-bowling that night.  My friend, Nick, "fake" proposed to Ash at dinner because they made a deal about 12 years ago that if neither one of them were married by the time they were 30, they would get married.  It was very funny and no, they are not engaged.  Nick brought the ring that he had given to his bitch fiance who cheated on him (he called it off because he found some rather disturbing evidence of her cheating) and he pulled it out for the fake proposal. 

So basically, since I started this job, I have not had one weekend to rest or catch up on chores or laundry or errands or bills....nada.  I keep waiting to crash on my face, but my ADHD and coffee are keeping me going.  I don't even hit snooze in the morning.  I don't get it.  I say that I have ADHD because I have always wondered if I have some kind of abnormal hyperactivity.  One of my kids does, but I assumed he didn't get it from me, like any other annoying quality that they possess.  Kidding.  Anyway, I am thanking God that I haven't crashed yet.  Hopefully I will get some stuff done this weekend, spend some time with my kiddos, and get some damn rest.

Last Friday I left work and headed straight for the airport.  I cut it close, but made it.  I worked SO hard not to have to check my bag, limiting the shoes for the weekend, and guess what!  They ran out of room and I had to check my bag....both there and back.  There was one lady boarding the plane (on the way to Tampa) who had three bags and she looked like the type of gal who believes that the rules don't apply to her.  Apparently they don't apply to her, since my bag got checked and she had three in the overhead compartment.

Anyway, I landed and walked toward baggage claim when I saw my best girlfriends waiting for me with a sign.  We all started screaming like sorority girls at a frat party.  We ran to each other, screaming and laughing.  I love them so much!  We haven't changed much since we were 15 and it's always a blast being with them.  We hung out at the house Friday night and then we got up the next day and went to the mall and Cheesecake Factory.  We went back home and rested while Kellie took a nap.  She absolutely CANNOT function on less than 6 hours of sleep, but the rest of us have kids and we are squealing with glee if we get 6 hours.  Kellie is the normal one. 

That night we had sushi at this AWESOME place and then went to World of Beer and Blend. 

There's more about that night and the next day that I will continue to write about tomorrow, but I am officially out of time.  For now, here are a couple of pictures (I only have time to post the ones saved to my computer) and below them is a link to a Jenna Marbles video about girls who suck at the airport.  SO funny and totally worth your time.  Jenna never wastes a minute of your time.  That's my girl right there. 

Me, Brea, Kellie and Michelle

Michelle is missing, probably taking the picture.

Jenna Marbles talks about what girls wear at the airport....and by the way, she uses offensive language, so if you don't like it, don't watch it.

http://youtu.be/-G2ylVqE_Fs

Only Time for a 40

I have had zero time for anything lately.  I still haven't finished writing about my trip, and I have a WHOLE other trip to write about with pictures and all.....Girls Weekend 2012. WOOOHOOOO!  As Michelle said "Gettin' Cray Cray in the TPA!"  That one went down in Brea's notepad of "Stupid Crap We Said".  Guess what!  I don't think I made the list!  I guess my writing will have to go on the backburner again today.  I got back from Tampa last night and the alarm clock went off too soon this morning. 

For now, look at what Brea found that made us laugh.......I have bolded the funniest part.  HAHAHAHA!

A bottle containing 40 fluid ounces of malt liquor beer. The beer is of low quality and fairly cheap to buy. A bottle can run you usually between 2 and three dollars depending on brand. 40's are popular in a variety of areas and are drunken by many types of people. Gangstas will drink 40's and will sometimes pour out a little of the beer onto the ground for their dead homies. Teenagers also like to drink 40's because it is a fast way to get drunk and all the beer is in one bottle opposed to drinking several smaller 12 ounce bottles and/or cans. Some brands of beer produced in the 40 ounce variety are Clot 45, Olde English, Mickey's, and King Cobra.

"Pass me that 40 motha (insert vulgar slang term)!"