One of my friends asked me what I would do if I had a friend who needed a shower in the worst way. I told him that I would say "Dude, you stink. Take your smelly ass to the shower, ASAP." Of course, I would only say that if the smelly person is a guy. Guys are so simple. Guys can be honest and not make their friends cry. Guys punch each other and get over it. Girls backstab and hold grudges. You can't say things like "you stink" to girls. We'd jump out of a window. Of course, we probably wouldn't ever stink that badly either because we aren't disgusting.....or maybe I just have clean friends.
I know that we all tell each other that we answer every question honestly, but I think that we are liars and that the girls telling the truth 100% of the time probably have no friends. I might tell one of my friends that I prefer one pair of jeans to another, but there is NO way in hell I am telling the truth entirely. "Do I look fat in these jeans?" Can you imagine the bitch who says "YES"? There is no way I am saying yes, even if you do look fat. I don't like hurting people. We all say that we expect our true friends to tell us the truth and we would be mad if we knew the other was lying, but how many of us are totally honest? I mean, especially with the weight thing. You should tell your friend she looks like a hooker in that skirt, but there are some times when you should just shut up completely.....one of them is weight. There is no way to say this without being responsible for an eating disorder. There is also no way of telling your friend that you think she's a slut.
Why do girls have to be so sensitive? I for one think it sucks. Why do we have to take everything so seriously and get our feelings hurt? My daughter is so sensitive and I wish that I could tell her that it'll go away, but then I would be lying. I am lucky in some ways because I am usually so oblivious when someone is being mean, it goes over my head and I don't have time to get upset because I assume everyone is nice....unless they call me fat. When I realize that someone is being mean, I totally get upset. I go into shock and don't know what to say and then I whine about it later on. It's like the moment when I realized that not everyone likes the United States all over again. I said "Who wouldn't like us? Why do the Muslims hate us?" When someone is mean to me I think "Why would you do that? I didn't do anything to you!" It's like the Universe shifts completely because I don't understand it. Being oblivious to others is sometimes a gift. It may make me a complete airhead and a bit of a narcissist (not thinking I have done anything), but it's a gift. When you have others telling you that you should be upset, you are completely oblivious. Even when I am upset with someone, I have to call someone to say "Would you be upset or am I being stupid?"
And by the way, I hate crying. It hurts my throat, I get a stuffy nose, and it makes me feel completely exhausted. I hold tears in as much as possible because I hate being a girl.
Guys are so much simpler.
By the way, as of now, I am in THIRD place in my Fantasy Football League. What's up, girls!!!! I am beating the boys! Who is CRYING now!
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