It's Hot! Where's My Scarf?

Last night I went to a party with my friend, Kerri.  I am not going to give many details because I am about to talk some smack about someone, but it was a nice party and we had a good time. 

I should mention something before I tell this story, and that is that it was very warm outside last night.  I was in a strapless dress and completely comfortable.  Ok, so there was a guy there who Kerri knows (long story that I won’t explain, but he hits women and has no idea that we know this) who was wearing a blazer, a pair of tailored jeans, a pair of sunglasses (at night),  I wear my sunglasses at night……sing it, and a white, fluffy scarf. He was the biggest douche I have ever met, and he is mean to girls, so I was having a hard time even being polite.  Every time he would come near us, we would start staring at the floor or ceiling, or I would pick at a hangnail.  He eventually came and sat by us and Kerri and I tried not to laugh because I was being such a beotch.  The problem is that no one ever knows that I am being a beotch unless they know me, because I just come off shy.  If I am not talkative, a stranger doesn’t have a clue that it’s because I don’t like them.  Anyway, he was asking me all sorts of questions and I kept giving him basically, one-word answers hoping he’d become bored.  At one point, he said “Man, it’s hot in there.  Those lights in there will getcha!” And I wanted to tell him that maybe he’d cool off if he’d take off the winter scarf.  I mean, dude, you are not Ralph Lauren, and you are not about to go yachting…..lose the scarf.  He asked me if I wanted a drink, I said no, he got up and got me one anyway.  I didn’t drink it.  Like I am going to risk getting Roofied by a douche bag in a scarf???  I never leave my drink or take drinks from anyone.  I am totally paranoid.  Anyway, finally, this girl came over and said to him “It was nice meeting you, ______!  Is this your date?” She looked at me.  I waited for him to tell her that I wasn't, but he just sat there.  I said “No!!! I am not his date!  I think she is.” I pointed to an older lady sitting next to him.  She was like 75.  He was like “Yea, I wanted to see how you’d handle that.”  HUH???  What kind of joker is this guy???  Did he think I would say yes?  I think his scarf was cutting off his air supply.

What is going on with guys right now?  What’s wrong with a shirt, jeans, and a hat? I realize that all week, people have irritated me and I have made fun of them, but it is one of those weeks.