Drastic Measures

I won’t explain all of my reasoning because it’s a story that would take 10 years to explain, but if you have followed this blog long enough (or know  Logan and Lindsey) you know how bad their fighting is.  We realized that they get along better when they are forced to be together, so guess what……next year they are in the same classes, and they have always been separated.  When I first mentioned the idea to the kids they were afraid that it would be a nightmare because they would embarrass each other intentionally, but then they started telling ME why it was an awesome idea.  Logan was excited that they could help each other with homework, help each other stay organized, and if one of them misses what the teacher says the other can tell them.  Lindsey said that she liked that when I chaperone for a field trip we can all be together, and if I come to read to one of their classes I don’t have to “even it out” by going to the other’s class, which I hadn’t even thought of.  That will be nice!  You should have seen me at Meet and Greets and Open Houses, going back and forth from class to class, missing most of what the teachers were saying.  Luckily, last year the rooms were back to back! 

They have 7 periods next year, so I think that it will be really good for Lindsey academically and I think that it’ll give them something in common.  If something funny happens in class, they are there to share it.  If the other is having a rough day, the other can help cheer them up, and so on.  I will obviously have to set up some basic rules for how to treat each other and immediately stop any bad behavior and unhealthy competition, but I think it’s going to be really cool.  It’s drastic, but we need something drastic to get them out of this awful cycle they’ve gotten into. 

I split Logan and Lindsey up in Pre-K thinking that you give twins their own identity so they’ll be more secure later in life.  You may notice that I never call them “the twins”, I have never thought of them as a unit.  They are their own people.  But now I wonder if I made a mistake by not making a big deal about them being twins, because now I have to remind them of the cool bond that they share, and why they’re special.  I’ve been more concerned about everything being fair and equal, and now that’s what they expect from me and from life....fairness.  You can't win, I swear.  You think, as a mom, that you're doing the right thing and it bites you in the butt later.  I used to make sure they had equal amounts of socks, toys, etc.  Lindsey said to me yesterday "I've always had to share everything!"  It's completely ridiculous because I've always gone out of my way to make everything fair, but does that matter?  No, because they share me and Don and they share a birthday.  Geez. 

Whether we realize it or not, twins are born different than we are and they do have a unique bond.  I have seen the twin bond with Carson and Dylan and I was probably too young and busy to notice it when I had Logan and Lindsey.  You have to remember that I grew up with twins in my family and they were separated and had their own identity, so I followed suit.  (Of course, everywhere we went it was “Awwwww, twins!” and I hear that I got left out in the cold and wasn’t happy at all after they were born.  I’ve seen evidence—pictures of my sad little face.)

Anyway, that’s the plan.  We’ll see how it goes.  I know that when they have something in common they do seem to enjoy it.  For example, when Logan plays football, Lindsey genuinely cheers for him on the sidelines.  Once I remember her saying "That's my brother!"  And when he watches her sing in the talent show or dance on stage he is genuinely proud of her and talks about how she's "the best". 

I hope it won't be a disaster, but I feel good about it.  Have a great day!

Here’s the Word of the Day:

detente \dey-TAHNT\, noun:

A relaxing of tension, especially between nations.