Top 10 Distractions in Yoga

One of the ideas behind yoga is learning how to be centered and unshakable, and that's why I seek it out as much as I do.  Sure, it's about stretching, releasing toxins, breathing, relaxing......but it's about learning to ignore the outside influences and distractions and instead, listening to your body and calming yourself.  I have had people screaming in my face and I can just stand there, motionless and feeling nothing, not reacting at all.....this is probably because of yoga, well, and the fact that it takes a lot to make me angry anyway.  Sure, I look crazy when I just stand there, but I'm not going psycho and reacting, so whatever.  You can only control yourself and your actions; you cannot control others and their actions and you'll go insane trying to. 

Just because you practice yoga in a quiet room doesn't mean you aren't getting tested and distracted.  These are always the things that throw me off if I am not in my zone.......

1. The Gumby Man. Sometimes I see a man so flexible that I cock my head and imagine the ways in which it may benefit me, or a girl in general.  It seriously throws off my Warrior III.
2. My Flexibility. Sometimes I applaud myself for how flexible I am and I imagine the ways it may benefit me.
3. The 300 pound man in front of me in black tightie whities.....is a problem for me.  I could barely get through class last week.  It threw me off the whole time. It was like staring at the sun. 
4. Back Bends.  I realize how much stress I carry in my back because when I am in a back bend, I sometimes get very angry and pissed off.  It is very hard to breathe through that....but so goes the practice.
5. The Moaner.  I think of sex.  I just want to tell them to contain themselves....because it makes me think of sex.
6. The Talker.  I hate this person.  STOP WHISPERING IN SHAVASANA!  Then I remember that it's just another reason to be focusing on my practice.
7. Tattoos.  I find myself admiring the tramp stamps and back tats, then I wonder why I'm such a wimp and won't commit to one. 
8. Sweat. It took me a really long time in hot yoga to learn to ignore the sweat.  I always wanted to wipe it off and frankly, it grossed me out.  It rolls into your eyes and burns them, you slip in it.....seriously.  You want to see how tough you are?  Practice yoga for an hour and a half in 120 degrees.
9. My Toes. If I need a pedicure, I take notice and then they bother me.
10. My Clothes. You aren't supposed to readjust your clothes, but I find them really annoying and have to refrain from pulling and fixing them in between poses.  However, I am not sure I am ready for naked hot yoga. Like ever.

I am never smiling when I am in this pose.