Top 10-Misconceptions People Make About Singles in Their 30's

1. We're getting laid more than married people. From what I can tell in my own life and from the single people I know, this is simply untrue. I don't know why married people think they are having less sex than singles.  I know a lot of single people who go MONTHS without it.  I know single people who have a lot of sex too,  but you can't have a problem with whoring around and you have to like enough people to bounce from mini-relationship to mini-relationship. I can't do either, so here I am.  Random sex is more appealing to a person who is tied down and picturing the grass being greener on the other side. I think people assume this about men more than women, especially the hot guys.  I have some guy friends that have reputations for being "Players" or "Man Whores" and they couldn't be further from it.  They are not slappin' ass all the time just because they are single. 

2. There must be something wrong with us. There are a million reasons why people our age decide to stay single and it isn't because there is anything wrong with us.  It's because we know who we are, what we want, and what we will and will not settle for.

3. We want to steal your husband/wife. First of all, a lot of us already had a spouse.  Trust me. We don't want yours.  We don't want drama at all because a lot of us have already been through enough drama.  Also, when you are single, there are a lot of places to go to meet people who are actually single.  When I was married, I rarely got hit on because I had a ring on.  Single people are more respectful and cautious than you think.
4. We're trying to corrupt your husband/wife into leaving you. I really didn't expect to encounter this because I am such a natural relationship girl, but I have some married girlfriends who are no longer allowed to hang out with me because their spouse is afraid I will give them the GRAND idea to leave them.  Being that I was married for so long, this shocked me. I have always believed in marriage and respected it....why on earth would I suddenly be plotting to gather up an army of married friends to go get divorced with me?  Come on now.  If anything, all of this ridiculousness is scaring ME....into never marrying again!

5. That we had something to do with your spouse leaving you. I have a friend; her friend's estranged husband is blaming my friend for their divorce.  Hahahaa. Getting divorced isn't like being pressured into taking a shot....it's a major life decision.  Back up, take responsibility for your failed marriage and accept that no one but the two of you had anything to do with it.  Your spouse left on his/her own.

6. We can do whatever we want. We can't just throw caution to the wind.  I have some married friends who say to me "I would be whoring around like you wouldn't believe, if I were you" and I just say "No you wouldn't."  It isn't as magical as it looks, just like marriage isn't, and there really aren't that many interesting people out there and after a while, you kind of get sick of telling the same stories over and over and you eventually come off as if you don't give a crap about talking to the opposite sex.  Also, we are the ones who have to use condoms if we like someone enough to have sex with them and if we don't, we then have to worry about catching something.  We also have jobs, bills....just because you are single doesn't mean you get to party all of the time. As for me, I know I would make the WORST NUN ON THE PLANET, but I feel like it would be easier to join a convent at this point because I am so picky. 

7. We're commitment -phobes. Now let me back up here because I am not sure I can commit to this statement.  Yes.  No. Yes. No.  You know?  I don't know if we are commitment-phobes or not, but I know that I like to leave my options open.  But seriously, I have been married, but those who haven't been, especially the guys, people always assume they are single because they can't commit.  I don't see it this way. A lot of people SHOULD wait until their thirties until they get married.  Just because they are smarter than some, more cautious than others, and value a good decision, does not make them afraid of commitment. Besides, most married people say to me I'd never get married again if I were you.....well.  That's comforting.  And it is REALLY making me want to meet your cousin that you just tried to set me up with. Married people really are usually the ones who make single people afraid of committing.

8. That we're miserable and pitiful. Trust me.  We are enjoying a lighter laundry load, less drama, and holding the remote control.  We are not crying about it.  Some of us may be more open to being in a relationship, some of us may really want to find someone, but most people I know who are single are fine.  They learn to love themselves. 

9. That we are damaged. This is not true.  Those of us who were married and who are healing-we are learning and we are stronger.  We may be broken, bruised, trying to make sense of things....but we are not damaged.  We are growing, we're smarter, and being single allows some time to listen to ourselves.  Some of my favorite things to do on my weekends alone are getting up early, reading, writing, going to yoga, getting my toes done, praying, going to church, being in the quiet....I am not looking for dudes and figuring out how to noisy up my life.  I'm not saying I don't also have fun with my friends, but it's probably more rare.  I am usually enjoying ME time.

10. That we want to find someone. Look.  Sometimes people don't want to be with another person.  A lot of people I know have the attitude if it happens, it happens. 
 

 Tomorrow: The Friend Zone