The 3 Things That Matter

Good morning! I thought this quote would be a great way to start the week. It's beautiful and so true. 

Love. It doesn't matter what religion you look at, love always seems to be the main message, without human manipulation, that is. At its core, love is always the most important lesson. Jesus taught a lot of things, but loving was the basis for every lesson he taught us. If you love God, you love others, and love yourself, you've lived well. Love people who are difficult to love, not only the ones who are easy to love. As the Bible says, where is the reward in that? Love those who need it most along with those who are loved by many. Love with your whole self, sacrifice yourself for someone else, and don't betray your heart. Listen to your heart when you love.  Know when to love, and know when to let go. Don't be paralyzed by your fears, whatever they may be, just love someone. The meaning of your life is to love.

Live Gently...this to me, seems like a natural effect of love. If you love your neighbor, even your enemies, you can't go thrashing around like a violent storm, slamming into people and tearing things apart, but rather, you're a gentle breeze, soft on someone's back. Be a gentle spirit, not a violent, angry hurricane, wrecking things and breaking people. You can't be filled with love and behave like a wrecking ball. It isn't possible.

Letting go gracefully......there are different parts to this, in my opinion. 

1.  To know yourself enough well enough to know the difference between things that are meant for you and not meant for you, is graceful in and of itself. This means that you accept things beyond your desires and wishes. A person who is accepting is gentle and therefore graceful. Forcing anything: parts of a machine, people, yourself....forcefulness is never graceful. It's hard. 

2. If you have to let go of something, that means that you were hanging on to it. Why do we hang on? Because we have attachment to and love whatever it is we are hanging on to. We don't want to feel pain when it isn't there, we fear what we will encounter once we let it go, what will happen. (This could be a person, a role or identity, a job, an emotional shield or resentment.)  Take a person, for example, because this is more than likely where people struggle the most....There is a fine love between love and hate, but are you going to let the person go, whether they're leaving or you're leaving, and love them and wish the best for them, even though you're hurt? Are you going to be graceful? Or are you going to seek revenge and wish bad things on them? In that case, you're hurting the other person and yourself. I'm not like that at all.  In fact, I have a hard time walking away from people and things that I love because I'm pretty much incapable of hating someone, and therefore it's hard to remember that I need to walk away when I still love.  I also don't like leaving things broken, but want to clean it up first. You know, I don't understand HOW people can wish bad things on others, honestly. It makes no sense to me. If I love someone and I'm walking away, you'd better believe that I hope and pray the best happens to them, since I won't be there anymore to help them and love them. When you love someone, you want the best for them, end of story. If you don't, you don't love them, or you love yourself and your feelings more and care about your hurt more than you care about them. 

3. Gracefulness also includes trust. When you let go of something, you trust that you are going somewhere better, somewhere meant for you. You also trust that the thing you're leaving will be fine without you. People who have hopes and dreams and aren't paralyzed by fear, are graceful. When you believe, you are powerful and beautiful. To move on, you must let go of fear. That is freeing and graceful. 

3. Faith. You are faithful to yourself and others. Faith is graceful, gentle, loving. 

4. When you won't let go, you cannot grow and move forward, and sometimes you might actually regress. When I lost my things in the fire, I decided that I wasn't going to dwell on what I lost because there wasn't anything I could do to get them back. Trust me, when I think about how I lost my babies' footprints from the hospital, I feel like I am suffocating. But I have my kids, so it could be worse. It's a decision to move on, more times than not. It is a commitment. To "let go" of a person or thing and then go back over and over, you haven't let go, and this just causes continuous pain. Stumbling isn't graceful like a ballerina dancing. Dance, don't stumble. 

Love, be gentle, and don't cling to things that aren't your destiny. Imagine if we can do these things.....

We can. 

Shel Silverstein-My Favorites

I hope that every adult read Shel Silverstein as a child. My mom had the tapes for the car and the books at home. There isn't an author who consistently captured the imagination of children like Shel. For example, the little thoughts you have as a child, like swallowing seeds and growing plants out your ears, remember thinking that? Shel understood kids and the silly little things they imagined. Below are some of my favorites. I hope you enjoy them. Melinda Mae, The Giving Tree, and Alice. 

Melinda Mae

Have you heard of tiny Melinda Mae,

Who ate a monstrous whale?
She thought she could,
She said she would,
So she started in right at the tail.
And everyone said,"You're much too small,"

But that didn't bother Melinda at all,

She took little bites and she chewed very slow,

Just like a good girl should...

...and in eighty-nine years she ate that whale

Because she said she would!

The Giving Tree

Once there was a tree....and she loved a little boy. And everyday the boy would come and he would gather her leaves and make them into crowns and play king of the forest. He would climb up her trunk and swing from her branches and eat apples. And they would play hide-and-go-seek. And when he was tired,he would sleep in her shade. And the boy loved the tree....very much. And the tree was happy. But time went by. And the boy grew older. And the tree was often alone.
Then one day the boy came to the tree
and the tree said, "Come, Boy, come and
climb up my trunk and swing from my
branches and eat apples and play in my shade and be happy." "I am too big to climb and play" said the boy.
"I want to buy things and have fun. I want some money?"

"I'm sorry," said the tree, "but I
have no money. I have only leaves and apples.
Take my apples, Boy, and sell them in
the city. Then you will have money and
you will be happy."
And so the boy climbed up the
tree and gathered her apples
and carried them away.
And the tree was happy.
But the boy stayed away for a long time....
and the tree was sad.
And then one day the boy came back
and the tree shook with joy
and she said, "Come, Boy, climb up my trunk
and swing from my branches and be happy."
"I am too busy to climb trees," said the boy.
"I want a house to keep me warm," he said.
"I want a wife and I want children,
and so I need a house.
Can you give me a house ?"
" I have no house," said the tree.
"The forest is my house,
but you may cut off my branches and build a
house. Then you will be happy."
And so the boy cut off her branches
and carried them away
to build his house.
And the tree was happy.
But the boy stayed away for a long time.
And when he came back,
the tree was so happy
she could hardly speak.
"Come, Boy," she whispered,
"come and play."
"I am too old and sad to play,"
said the boy.
"I want a boat that will
take me far away from here.
Can you give me a boat?"
"Cut down my trunk
and make a boat," said the tree.
"Then you can sail away...
and be happy."
And so the boy cut down her trunk
and made a boat and sailed away.
And the tree was happy
... but not really.
And after a long time
the boy came back again.
"I am sorry, Boy,"
said the tree," but I have nothing
left to give you -
My apples are gone."
"My teeth are too weak
for apples," said the boy.
"My branches are gone,"
said the tree. " You
cannot swing on them - "
"I am too old to swing
on branches," said the boy.
"My trunk is gone, " said the tree.
"You cannot climb - "
"I am too tired to climb" said the boy.
"I am sorry," sighed the tree.
"I wish that I could give you something....
but I have nothing left.
I am just an old stump.
I am sorry...."
"I don't need very much now," said the boy.
"just a quiet place to sit and rest.
I am very tired."
"Well," said the tree, straightening
herself up as much as she could,
"well, an old stump is good for sitting and resting
Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest."And the boy did.
And the tree was happy.

Alice 

She drank from a bottle called DRINK ME.

And she grew so tall,

And she ate from a plate called TASTE ME,

And down she shrunk so small.

And so she changed, while other folks never tried nothin' at all.

iOS7

I still haven't done the update to my iPhone. I haven't done it because I don't have 5 hours to sit with a wifi connection and not move, and I also really hate getting used to new screens and buttons. I don't use 3/4 of the features on any gadget, so this isn't shocking that I haven't made it a priority to update my software.  I hate change.

Honestly, I sympathize with this kid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTpXVv-DaBQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Flashback Friday-Stubborn in Black and White

I know that I'm a pretty compliant person for the most part, and as a child, I was very compliant. But I have some memories of myself being really stubborn and I try to hold onto these memories when I'm struggling with my kids because it's the only thing that helps me understand what's going on in their heads.

I had to see counselors when I was a kid because of the divorce and then the other divorces and the custody battle (over me) that lasted a year. I was 12 and that entire year sucked major ass. I hurt my mom over and over and tried to be the biggest brat I could to get my way. I ran away, I smarted off every time I could, and I stopped trying in school.  I remember sitting in counselors' offices as a child and not talking for the entire time I was supposed to, just to prove to my mom that it wouldn't work and no one could make me. I spent hours in complete silence and staring at Dr. M*******.  I hated his face, his freckles, his voice, his disgusting red chest hair fluffing out of his unbuttoned shirt, and I was more than happy to irritate him.  The more he despised me, the happier I was. There was only one counselor that I ended up talking to, Dr. Jim, and it was because he was so nice and let me come to him. He was so sweet, I worried about hurting his feelings.  I knew I wasn't truly a stubborn ass, but in survival mode, and he was the only one I would allow to get close to me. 

I also remember another time as a child...my mom had a boyfriend and I didn't like him. He watched us one night and made us dinner. He poured me milk, which I don't drink and never have. I informed him of the fact that I don't tolerate milk. He poured me a glass anyway. I didn't drink it. He told me I couldn't get up from the table until I finished drinking it. So I sat there until my mom got home, and although it felt like hours, I really don't remember how long I sat there, staring at him and the glass of milk. It could have had time to curdle, and I would have sat in that chair watching it. I wasn't happy that he didn't listen to something as simple as "I don't drink milk and never have." I'm sure a counselor would've told my mom that I was just rebelling against her having a boyfriend, but I really just hate milk that much. I'm sure I rebelled against my mom dating the Milk Nazi after that though.

I hate fighting my kids, and I hate that they want to fight me. You think you're going to be different. Those other people warning you about teens, certainly your kids won't be like that to you. Ha ha ha. Yeah. And I'm not laughing. It sucks. And it hurts.  But I also wouldn't go back to being a kid for anything. I hated not having any control of anything in my life. I did what my parents told me to do, but I think I was very insecure that things were always going to change....and they always did.  No one ever asked me what I wanted. And if they considered my feelings, I didn't know it. All I felt was that I was in the middle, all the time. The world was as grey as it is now, but I was only capable of seeing it as black and white. I was always trying to make sense of a big mess and someone was always wrong in my eyes. I was incapable of seeing that life is dynamic, that there was more than what met my eyes, and that the people I loved the most were imperfect and just human.  And although life is still pretty much a mess, I've gotten pretty good at rolling with the punches and I'm thankful that I realize that the world is far from black and white, but rather, thousands of shades of grey, and people are imperfect and beautifully messed up. I can't explain this to my kids. They won't understand....yet. 

Now I'm in control of 4 other lives. And they'll tell me stories one day about when I pissed them off. It's the cycle of life. 

Dead Sea-The Lumineers

I love this song.

So the whole idea behind it is that you can't drown in the Dead Sea, in fact, you float and your feet can't even find the bottom. You cannot sink. Sweet little simile right there. "You told me I was like the Dead Sea, you'll never sink when you're with me." Cute.

Of course I couldn't just let it be cute, I had to Google it.

Turns out that you actually can drown in the Dead Sea if you float face down. You can also die if you swallow a little of the water because the salt is so concentrated that it throws off the natural balance of your electrolytes. The song was cuter without that information. I actually learned a lot about the Dead Sea yesterday.

Sometimes you shouldn't Google things, you should just not open Pandora's box. Like, have you ever Googled a symptom? Biggest mistake ever. Oh, and never ever hit "images" if you are looking for anything medical. You will never sleep again.  I remember trying to figure out whether or not Lindsey had ringworm....yeah. Google THAT!  I Googled "swollen gland on back of head" yesterday because mine was swollen. Now I have to go to the doctor just to make sure I am not dying. 


Anyway, here is the link to the song:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lUaExjMc3IY&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DlUaExjMc3IY

Top 10-Ways To Annoy Me

1.) Ask me the same question over and over after I've already given you an answer.  Unless I say "I don't know," I meant it the first time. I will hate you and I will want to crawl out of my skin. You're either getting a stare down for hours or some scary kind of scream resulting in me running around as if I have a spider down my pants. I equally hate when someone forces me to talk to them after I say I don't want to talk about something. I want to run away. What's even worse is that I hate when I want to talk about something to someone like me and they run away. That's so annoying, which means I annoy myself. I know how people like me feel, so I should never make someone talk. But who isn't like that? If you don't want to talk, who likes being badgered? Yeah, it's just annoying. 

2.) Tap me over and over. Yes I'm ignoring you, until I scream "whatttttt!" (usually only children do this. It's a sure way to get smacked.)

3.) Leave me voicemails that contain monologues. Wait. Am I supposed to call you back still? You already told me your entire life's story. Or I assume you did...I didn't listen, I deleted it as soon as you started telling the story. 

4.) Be a Grapefruit. I really despise cutting grapefruit, but I  love to eat them. It takes forever. 

5.) Have  no concept of personal space. Please move. I don't want to be touched or fondled....by you. 

6.) Talk to me when I'm on the phone; ok so my kids are really the only ones guilty of this.

7.) Say things like supposeably, or mute point. Rrrrrr.

8.) Complain about your friends on Facebook to your friends on Facebook. Can we say passive aggressive? 

9) Make fun of the food I'm eating. Sorry I don't want to eat squashed pig intestines mashed up with chemicals and lined with strange skin, conveniently called a "hot dog". 

10.)  Brush your teeth in front of me and then dribble the toothpaste all over your chin until you look like you have rabies. Yughhhhhhhh!!!! I try to rationalize that toothpaste is clean, but it doesn't work. I hate watching people brush their teeth. 

20 Things His Wife Complained About

A couple of weeks ago I read this blog that was getting a lot of hype. I meant to write about it, but I didn't because I forgot.  I don't mean to sound like a bitch or anything, but I wasn't as impressed as I maybe should have been, being that I have a vagina.

http://jamesrusselllingerfelt.wordpress.com/2013/08/15/beautiful-advice-from-a-divorced-man-after-16-years-of-marriage/

Before I say anything, pat on the back to him for learning his lesson and having the guts to write about it. He's had lots of positive feedback, so I guess this makes me feel better about what I'm about to say....

One word comes to mind when I read this: DUH. (I feel so bad for saying all of this. I am a bitch.) I thought these were things people knew when they got married.

I also feel as though he isn't being fair when he said he wrote this, because his wife probably did, when she was complaining about why she wasn't happy.  It's not like he just thought this up.  I say this because there are 20 things he said he would do differently in his marriage if he could go back. Ask a man what makes him happy, he could probably name three, therefore he could probably only complain about 3 things, if he's REALLY unhappy.  We are high maintenance. Sorry, girls. It's true.

I thought that this blog was depressing. Sweet isn't an adjective I would use, even beautiful.  It's depressing because women have the belief that men only "get it" once it's too late and they've already lost you; this blog, for me, was just a reminder of that belief. By the way, I don't think this is always the case.

Also, I think 20 was too many. Show this to a bachelor and he'll never get married!  This man also uses flowery and drawn out language; he's someone who seems in touch with his feelings. He's now divorced. This is depressing.

I may not understand the hype because to me, it's not groundbreaking, BUT, he nailed it. Every single thing on the list would make me happy, or any other "normal" woman. They're all true. Too bad these things are completely unrealistic. Sometimes life sucks and so does marriage. Do your best to attempt these things, but I don't know. Unrealistic.

I hate the idea of "too late". Is there anything worse than regret?

Thoughts from the Stairmaster

Won't it be ironic once this girl is extremely rich? Or if rich people sing along to this song? By the way, this is what happens when you copy and paste a picture from your phone. My goodness! It's huge!

That's what she said.

Flashback Friday-I Miss You, Blink 182

http://m.vevo.com/watch/blink-182/i-miss-you/USMCV0500116?playonmobile=true

(I miss you, I miss you)
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want 
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, I miss you)
(I miss you, I miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness 
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted 
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already 
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already 
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)