I am writing a book about moms with tattoos. It's going to be awesome if I can execute it. I asked a bunch of mothers last week (and will continue with my research) questions about having tattoos, since I don't have any. And you have to understand, I like them on other people and think they're cool, they just aren't for me. There are a few reasons why:
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- Because I am boring.
- Because I have commitment issues to inanimate objects, especially things attached to my body. (I don't know if I can consider tattoos inanimate objects or not, but I just did.) Tattoos are as permanent as catching an STD, except some STD's go away. Ok, tattoos are more forever than most STD's. Yes, I have a problem with the permanence of this. You just watched me think out loud, by the way.
- This goes with Number 2....I constantly change. What I like today, I may hate tomorrow.
- It will wrinkle up and look like some some squashed version of whatever it is.
- Because when people ask if I have them, I like to say something hot to cover up the fact that I am boring. I like to say "No, no tattoos, just skin. Just clean, white, wet, slippery skin." Ok, I never say all of that in a sentence.
- It seems painful, and therefore I would probably wind up with 17 dots resembling nothing. I would look like I had just lost in a ballpoint pen fight.
- I always do things last. I will probably get one when I am 95 and about to die. Look at Facebook. I didn't join for like 7 years and that was only once I realized that no one was interested in emailing me.
- What if I wind up one of those addicts? I could end up with Tiger stripes on my face and whiskers surgically embedded in my cheeks.
- I would probably choose the equivalent of a 1999 Butterfly Tramp Stamp, because I would never get anything unique...and why? Tats are just not for me.
- I would regret it. I know I would. And if I didn't, I would be used to it and never pay attention to it, and then what is the point of getting something you ignore every day?
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