I have two sets of twins. This draws a certain degree of attention every single place that I go, every day of my life. My friends can vouch for this and I know without a doubt that they would say that I answer everyone with patience and kindness. I neither hate nor love answering questions about my children, my ovaries, how long it took me to get pregnant, how long I carried them, how big they were at birth; it's my normal. I laugh along with people and thank them genuinely when they tell me that I look great for having two sets of twins because it's truly sweet and I seriously appreciate the compliment, although I will admit that I secretly laugh because apparently I should weigh what a whale weighs. I learned how to navigate my way through these questions with grace and a smile, even though they are very personal questions, when I had Logan and Lindsey. I was twenty years old without a ring on my finger, so not only did I get the questions, but I also got my serving of judgment, pity, and the condescending advice. It's now such a part of my life, I don't really think about how strange it is to get interrogated everywhere I go. I am also older now and I have TWO sets, so no one dares to give me advice unless I ask because they know that they have never had two sets of twins....that has been a blessing.
The first questions that I always get are whether the kids are identical or fraternal, and whether or not I was on fertility. First of all, the latter is a very rude question and one that I am only willing to overlook because mine were natural and I didn't have to drop a million dollars in order to have them and I am not considered "defective", which is what someone is wanting to know when they ask such a rude question. Right? They are essentially asking if there is something wrong with your body, not to mention, they are asking about your financial stability. (I hate this question because I have friends who are neither defective nor rich who have had to use fertility.) I will have you know that people who ask this question don't discriminate. Even when I was 20, people asked if I was on fertility in order to have Logan and Lindsey. Um, why would I be on fertility at 20? I always wanted to say "Yeah, I just couldn't wait any longer after high school! I ran straight from my graduation ceremony to the fertility clinic to freeze my eggs!" I looked like a baby when I had them, so it was a pretty stupid question for someone to ask. Obviously, after the second set of twins, I expected people to wonder if my pregnancies were natural or due to fertility, and I totally understood their curiosity. So many people asked that I started to volunteer the information before they asked, just to save time. I always say "My brother and sister are twins; it runs in my family." If I don't have Logan and Lindsey with me, I never tell people that I have two sets because it takes five more minutes to get to where I am going. If I have Logan and Lindsey with me, I always say "They're twins too" so Logan and Lindsey don't feel like yesterday's news. There was a brief period when Logan got taller than Lindsey and it wasn't obvious that they were twins anymore. As soon as that happened the questions stopped.....and then I had another set. By the way, there are women I know, to this day, who refuse to accept that I didn't use fertility. They will say "I thought you were on fertility" and I get sort of irritated. I get irritated that I even bothered to explain the entire thing if they were just going to reject the idea of it happening naturally, and I swear that it's a bitch thing sometimes, a jab.
I think that the heat fried people's brains yesterday. I walked around with Carson and Dylan (who are blonde, matching in attire, and exactly the same height) and people asked their usual questions, however, it was very strange because people were patting themselves on the backs for knowing that they were twins. "Yes, they are twins" I said several times throughout the day and I would get "Oh, I could tell! I knew it, by the way they were acting together and they seem really close! I just knew it!" I wanted to say "Your ability to observe obvious details is outstanding! You must have memorized the scientific method a while back, because GOLLY you have MASTERED it!" It was bizarre. Like, really? You are giving yourself a trophy for knowing that they are twins? I think that I am going to have some fun from now on. When people ask if they are twins I am going to say "No, they aren't related" just to see them squirm.
One of the reasons that I am so understanding when people ask about the identical/fraternal thing is because I have a brother and sister who are twins. I understand that not everyone knows that there are two eggs and two sperm when you are talking fraternal, and identical is one fertilized egg that splits within the first seven days of conception. However, I have never understood when people ask if Logan and Lindsey are identical. I really want to say "Well, one has a penis and one has a vagina. What do YOU think?" But I just answer them nicely and explain the details of what fraternal means, but only if they ask me. I am never against explaining things. One girl asked me yesterday if Carson and Dylan were "infernal" and I said "Yes, they are FRATERNAL", but I slipped it in so I wouldn't make her feel dumb.
The "Infernal" comment made me laugh because it reminded me of when people say "mute" point instead of "moot". This then reminded me of Joey on Friends saying "moo" point. Let's end today's post with a clip, shall we?
Great scene:
No comments:
Post a Comment