My family and I were watching "The Little Mermaid" with the kids about a week ago. My sister saw the movie with my mom when she was a little girl and during the final scene of the movie, when they are sailing off into happily ever after, she screamed out "Yeah right". We were all laughing because a little kid said it, but we were also laughing because let's face it.....fairy tales are totally ridiculous. Just as Jerry Maguire saying "You complete me" is a total crock, so are most fairy tales.
What I have learned over the years (because I was so unlike my sister; I was a dreamer) is that love is not completely forgoing yourself in order to make a happy ending. Love is not giving more than the other person is willing to give. It's a partnership. Love is respect. You can't respect a doormat just like you can't respect someone who doesn't care about who you are as a person. If you give up who you are, then who are they supposed to love? If you change for someone, can you even tell them who they are supposed to love? No, because you don't know who you are anymore.
Let's take a look at the Disney princesses and how they completely compromised who they were for a man......
Ariel (The Little Mermaid): Sold her soul and most beautiful feature (her voice) to a sea witch in exchange for legs. Why? For a man. So here's the deal. Ariel lives in the ocean and this dude lives on land. She leaves her entire identity, her immortality, and her whole family to live with a man who she barely knows, FOREVER. What if he ends up a bastard? She now has legs and a set of lungs that can't withstand water; she has also lost her ability to speak and sing. And who says she wasn't completely happy with her fin? Maybe her fin glistened and now her legs have cellulite. So now she is a mute with cellulite, she can't see her family anymore and all she has is a bastard prince to take care of. Thank goodness she won't live forever. What did the guy have to give to Ariel that he couldn't get back? Nothing, of course.
Lesson: Give everything to a guy and it will work out.
Jasmine (Aladdin): Aladdin was a sociopath and lied about his identity. She forgave the bastard liar, married him and let him live in her palace.
Lesson: Forgive for love, even if the guy is a chainsaw murderer.
Cinderella: Instead of telling her sisters and evil step-mother to go to hell, she waits for her fairy godmother to bail her out, so a guy can then bail her out for good.
Lesson: You can't do it alone, so wait for a man and he will rescue you. I wonder how many strippers saw this movie. "I will use my body to bail me out, and then hopefully while I am naked, I will find a guy to bail me out forever. "
Belle (Beauty and the Beast): She has Stockholm Syndrome.
Lesson: First of all, kidnappers are nice. Secondly, even if someone is ugly, you can still be attracted to them. (Yeah right.) Your sex life will be great, even if there isn't attraction. (Yeah right.) Also, ugly guys turn into princes after you prove your love for them.....um, not going to happen. Anyone aging knows that.
Snow White: Trust everyone.
Lesson: Trust strangers giving you poison. Ok, in real life, you are dead. Even Channing Tatum can't wake you from death. Make better decisions, Snow White.
Aurora (Sleeping Beauty): Sleep your life away until your prince comes along.
Lesson: Be completely inactive and let all decisions you make be in vain until your real life begins. Begins, meaning when you are saved by your prince. You might as well be a lump until a man comes along because of course, that's the only reason for living.
Pocahontas: This one is just completely historically inaccurate. I mean, could they have made her boobs any bigger? And John Smith was a racist a-hole in real life. Enough said.
The only Disney princesses that I really have any respect for are Tiana (Princess and the Frog) and Rapunzel (Tangled). These movies depict a strong female and more of a cooperative relationship. Tiana and the lazy, spoiled prince hop around together trying to figure out how to become human again. Actually, Tiana is a lot smarter and more resourceful than the prince. In Tangled, Rapunzel uses a thief to lead her to the lights.....at least she is a good negotiator. She is a princess and saves HIM in the end. How's that for a role reversal? I can't remember Mulan, but I am pretty sure that she is tough and surrounds herself with good friends.
I hope that at least one person can appreciate my warped sense of humor and cynicism. Have a great Saturday!
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