The Importance of Having Girlfriends

My first girlfriend, my sister, Ash

I have made a lot of comments over time on Facebook and on this blog about loving my girlfriends.  I have been so blessed all my life to have amazing women in it and occasionally when I say that, I get a question from those who maybe haven't had very good experiences with women..."How does one have good girlfriends since girls tend to suck?"  Simple.  Women have gotten a bad wrap and there is only one reason why....because of bad women.  Some women have no intention of being a good friend or recognizing one.  Some women are jealous and spiteful and it makes them act unfairly and selfishly.  Some women are so miserable that they have every intention of dragging you down whenever they can.  Unfortunately we have all been burned at one point or another by women like this but it's important not to just assume that you can't trust an entire gender just because of that.

Number One Rule 
This is so important.  My number one rule when meeting a girl has always been this: Don't assume anything.  Just because she is shy doesn't mean she is a bitch.  Just because she's pretty doesn't mean she is going to steal your man or wind up full of herself.  Just because she is guarded doesn't mean she will never let you in.  When I meet a girl, I smile and I mean it.  Ask her about herself and tell her about you.  It's very important to find something in common with her and guess what...you can ALWAYS find something in common with someone.  The most important thing to do when meeting a new girl is to be nice and genuine and check all of your skepticism at the door.  It's not fair not to give people a chance and if you immediately decide that you just don't like someone, you could be missing out on some great people and growing experiences.

How to Meet Good Girls
One of my friends just moved and she told me she doesn't know how to meet new people in an unfamiliar place.  Well, having moved around a lot, I have learned that the more you talk while you're out and get involved with the groups around you, the more you'll meet people you like.  Get involved at church. Find a playgroup if you have kids.  Join a gym.  Go out with the friends you already have and get to know their friends.  Make conversation when you go places because you never know who you'll click with. If you're in a relationship, that's tricky.  It's not every day that you come across couples that you click with, but it exists too and it's awesome.

Why Is It So Important To Have Good Girlfriends?
 I have a lot of guy friends and I always have.  I love them dearly, but there is just something that my girlfriends give me that a man doesn't know how to do. I feel bad when women make declarations like "I hate women" or "Girls suck" because there are some awesome experiences in my life that only include women.  Why is it so important to have a good girl in your life?  Because there is something that we "get" about each other no matter how much we identify with men...that is, if you give a girl a chance.  You'll find that your marriages are similar and your kids are similar and your life experiences are strangely similar and even if everything is different, we are girls and we can relate anyway.  We are a gender that is empathetic and reads people well.  We know instinctively what to do because we know what we would need.

When I was 17, I was in a car accident that caused anxiety attacks for months, my stepmom and dad got divorced, my grandpa died and because of the stress, my grades fell...and I mean they were low.  This all happened in one semester.  All of my extra-curricular activities had been taken away and I remember crying on the floor, curled in a ball on my dad's bedroom floor....I told Brea that I hated myself for being so bad.  Brea was curled into a ball on the floor facing me, playing with my hair and telling me how much she loved me and that she wished she was like me.  She told me everything would be ok and eventually, it was.  I have never forgotten that moment.  In that moment, all of the stress and change had finally hit me and the fake smiles disappeared and I finally let someone see how sad I was.  I had tried to act so tough, but I broke and Brea told me what I needed to hear....I needed to hear that I wasn't a screw-up and that people loved me. 

There have been a lot of moments like that with my girlfriends and there have been moments where I am there for them.  They pour the wine and put on the movie and drag my ass out of the house and send me thoughtful gifts and inspiring books and cards and call me in the morning and listen to me ramble on and on...and there is a part of my soul that is happy because of them that no man can ever understand.

Give girls a chance.  You never know who she is and what she's been through.

Tomorrow: 10 Ways to Be an Awesome Girlfriend