Consider this a proposal, Rob.
- I have a hat fetish. You know what a fetish means, Rob. Yeah. That. Uh huhhh.
- I will play with you. You can do all of the stupid things you do and I will laugh at you and never roll my eyes because it's cute. I know it's deceiving, me being a mom and all, but I never fully grew up.
- Because you're the only skateboarder who dresses like a little boy that my friends won't make fun of me for being with.
- I'm not scared. I jumped off a cliff twice into some water. I once Wobbled on roller-skates. I can hang with you.
- I'm not a bitch. This should be #1.
- I'll make you food when you break your limbs. Because I am a mom, I am nurturing, so you see, Rob, you can break your legs and I'll make you grilled cheese and put new batteries in the remote control. Boom.
- I grew up in the 90's, so you don't have to explain things to me. You definitely want a 90's chick. You don't want to have to explain who Run-D.M.C. is.
- Because I'm not an idiot. I can carry on a conversation. You don't want to go with some stupid bimbo who only cares about money. No, sir. I just want you for your hat.
- I have kids. So you'll always have someone immature around to be stupid with when I'm not there.
- I don't care about you hanging out with your friends. I'm not a clinger because I like my friends too. No, THIS should be #1.
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