Occasionally I don't really know what to pray for so I'll close my eyes and randomly open a page in my bible and point to whatever it is with my eyes closed. Today I stumbled upon this rather famous Psalm. It is actually what I needed to hear because I have been thinking lately about how I often feel like God is holding my hand and like a child, I yank in the other direction wanting to go a different way. Why do I do that? I'm blessed enough to believe he's guiding me, so how much sense does that make? If I trust that God is there, why is it so hard to listen when it comes to certain things? Sometimes I am stubborn and I hate that about myself. I pray for signs and then when I get them, I ignore them. It's the hardest thing I deal with with myself. When you have a strong will, it can work against you. I have no doubt that God MADE me a fighter and gave me a strong will....that being said, I'm sure it's very frustrating to parent me sometimes and he didn't mean that he wanted me to fight HIM. Sometimes I picture myself being a toddler testing her father in the grocery store. Actually, I would be the toddler who burns herself and then stubbornly touches the burner over and over and over again expecting to have a different outcome. Maybe I should practice being a lamb more than a lion.
So I'm going to try to listen to what he's saying today and let things be and just walk without flailing. That's the plan anyway.
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