Wednesday, November 12, 2014

7 Reasons Why Women Shouldn't Man-Bash

I made a joke about men being varying degrees of a**hole the other day and while it was really funny (I can't help that I am like a clown and I am here to amuse you...if you don't know that reference, we aren't friends anymore) it dawned on me that the joke could've come across a little cynical, especially given that a lot of women actually do believe what I said.

I've never been a male basher because I like men as a species too much.  Men are awesome, that's why I have so many male friends.  I love my dad and my stepdad and my brother and there are men who have never let me down.  But there are women who haven't had good experiences across the board and I can see how from their perspective, men suck.  Women watch their single friends date, date a little themselves, get married and divorced and then they slowly start believing that once you sleep with a man or commit to a man, he will magically turn into an idiot.  I can't lie, in the last couple years, I have begun to wonder if men share more characteristics of suckery than I had originally thought,  but here's why it's important not to think like this and male bash.....

1. Even Hillary Clinton didn't man bash. If I were a man, I would be afraid to cheat on Hillary in fears that my testicles would be removed in my sleep.  She was humiliated in front of the whole world and she still didn't walk around saying that "All men of the world must be removed from the planet because they're all cheaters".  If Hillary Clinton can isolate one idiot from an entire species, then we can. She may not be able to separate the fact that he was a president but....

2. Man bashing is illogical. Staying away from generalizations when talking about people is always a good idea and nothing shouts fallacy more than "all men" or "all women" or "all Muslims".  It's a bad idea and it makes you appear to be ignorant.  Maybe all men you date suck because you have a pattern, a type, and you have your own issues.  You have to consider the nice guys who you have never let in or given a chance and then you'll realize that the problem isn't them. 

3. I have sons. How can we say things about men without saying something about my three sons?  We can't, and I don't think it's healthy for boys to hear male bashing.  My boys aren't lazy, they aren't jerks, and it's my responsibility to keep it that way. (And their father's.)  I am teaching them already to respect women by loving them the way that I do and if you turn your back on a nice guy, it's your loss, not my sons'.  I am already telling my boys what a woman is while I teach them what a man looks like, so we have to remember what that looks like. 

4. If we want double standards and sexism to end, we have to stop bashing.  I just read the most ridiculous click-bait in New York Magazine yesterday.  The "journalist" was accusing Mark Zuckerberg of being sexist because he said he wears grey t-shirts to work and says he doesn't have to worry about what he looks like.  Seriously, that's all it said.  I can't get that 45 seconds back from my life, so I am kind of pissed about that.  Anyway, let's just all quit with the double standards, the generalizations, the stupid arguments and finger pointing and just start treating everyone with respect, man or woman. 

5. We just give men an excuse. If we make a generalization that all men are a**holes, then whenever they do something wrong, they can just say "I'm a guy, sorry, that's why I am an a**hole.  Didn't you know we do stuff like that?"  Well that's unacceptable.  If I went around being a player and screwing with guys heads and lying, I would get called a tease or a whore.  That behavior isn't working for us the same way because the excuse hasn't caught on.  Let's stop giving them an excuse to be idiots by not calling them idiots for having penises. 

6. It's our choice in the end.  No one made me go out with the men I picked.  No one dragged me down the aisle, nor did anyone make me stay with any guy when I wasn't happy or being treated fairly.  Don't engage with someone who isn't treating you the way you want to be treated.  He didn't commit?  You still participated.  He cheated?  Well, there's the door and on the other side are men who wouldn't make the same mistakes with you.  We are entertaining it when we put up with it.  We have the freedom to leave, to date someone, to have sex, not have sex, not get married, get married, become a lesbian, be alone.....We aren't like some of the women around world being stoned to death.  You want to meet a real prick?  Go live in another country.  We have to be able to say "this sucks and it isn't what I want" and move on and accept some of the responsibility. 

7. It's not a good look. Whenever a man says "women lie", I always think "Well, you're someone I won't give my time..."  This isn't because he is a man but because he is a badly burned man.  His baggage isn't hidden in the trunk of his car, it's on his lap in front of me and I know I don't really feel like carrying Sarah and Nikki and Megan's crap that he's carrying around.  No thanks.  Women don't look any different when they are truly cynical and nice guys can spot it a mile away.  The jerks know you have it and they have no problem throwing another piece of luggage on your lap full of baggage.

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