I was having a hard time sleeping last night, so I got on Facebook. I saw the news that Brittany Maynard had passed away and then I couldn't sleep at all. I was up analyzing how I felt about her decision because that's what I seem to do every moment of my life...I analyze. I wondered what I would do if I were in that situation. I am very careful about having opinions when I haven't been in a situation and I am not judgmental...this is just my nature. However, I understand that some people are really against what she did and are concerned about the morality of the decision she made and the Death with Dignity law in Oregon. I get it, but I have to say that I disagree with them. This is one situation that I feel people need to be sensitive to and I think that they really need to put themselves in her shoes before having a strong opinion.
Brittany Maynard's situation is one that I have never been in. I know nothing about finding out that I am terminally ill and the shock that she must have felt. I know nothing about having to reflect on everything I have ever done or said and knowing that I only have a certain amount of time in which to do it. I don't know how it must feel to have to put into words just how much I have loved everyone and everything in my life, or even if it is possible. I know nothing about the feelings I would have if I found out that my life was only going to amount to 29 years no matter how hard I fought and I don't know about all of the thoughts and feelings that would presumably follow. I know nothing about realizing I will never have children, that the vows I took with my new husband at the alter would end up being shorter than we had both bargained for, and I know nothing about having to watch my parents' hearts break from knowing they would outlive me. I don't know how much strength it would take to let go and be graceful and accept a fate that I didn't want. I know nothing about any of this....
I also don't know what the pain is like when you have cancer. When I woke up this morning, I texted two of my friends and told them that I wanted to write something about her but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to have an opinion yet because I hadn't been through what they had been through. They both watched their mothers die from cancer. They watched them wither away to nothing until they watched the life literally leave their bodies. One of my friends said it was like something out of a horror movie and the other said he would never wish seeing that on his worst enemy. I was told that it isn't like in the movies and there is nothing peaceful about it. One of my friends asks how we can put animals to sleep to spare them from pain but we can't let a human being do the same. So in regards to Maynard, why can't a woman who appreciated her life enough to respect the fate of her death choose to go in peace? Most disturbingly, both of my friends watched their mothers die in horror and they both thought "How could there be a God?" I personally wouldn't want my family members to have to watch that or go through that, and quite frankly, I wouldn't want them to remember me like that. I certainly don't want their last memory of me to stir up feelings that are so horrible that they question whether or not God exists. That's just me.
I understand why this issue is controversial because life is a precious thing. Life is a gift from God. But I think it's important for the people who are against what she did to understand that she didn't do what she did because she disrespected her life, in fact, I believe it was just the opposite. We also don't know what peace she had made with God beforehand. We know nothing about it if we haven't been through it. This seemed to be a girl who was adventurous, who seemed to live life to the fullest, and in my opinion because of what she did, seemed to respect what life is....beautiful. To make a decision like this, you would have to have appreciated your vibrant nature, you would have to have appreciated the footprints you've made in your life, and you would have to be caring enough to let go gracefully so your family doesn't have to remember horrific things. She spent the last days of her life advocating for those who did know what it was like to face these things and I respect her for that. She had a spirit that every single one of us should be striving for and I find her incredibly courageous.
She left with dignity.
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