Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Opposite of Love

"The opposite of love is indifference."-Stubborn Love, The Lumineers

This is true, so next time someone "hates" you or shows hateful behavior toward you, take this to heart.  All they're doing by being hateful and spiteful is showing you that they actually care.  Feeling indifferent about a person means that you don't even consider them worth enough to hate.  And honestly, it's a freeing feeling not to care about someone who is out to hurt you.  Why waste your time? 

Hating someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. 




Friday, July 26, 2013

Flashback Friday-Spice Girls

1998.  Or was this in 1997?  I can't remember.  The Spice Girls were huge, so we made up a dance and lip-synced for the Talent Show.  We were all 16 or 17. 



Tara was Baby Spice, Julie was Posh Spice, Candace was Scary Spice, I was Ginger Spice (I colored my hair with a red marker), and Brea was Sporty Spice.








Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Top 10-Things I Just Don't Get

  1. Maybe this is because I am a girl, but why on earth do people freak out when they find out an athlete used performance-enhancing drugs?  Wouldn't it be more shocking for the media to report that someone hadn't?  I just don't get this.  I am bored and don't want to hear about it anymore.  Everyone is all upset about that Brewers guy now.  Here's an idea: assume that everyone takes steroids, that way you're not brokenhearted when you find out that you were correct.
  2. Why when driving in Atlanta do I have to put on my blinker if I want someone to speed up? Why when I want to switch lanes, do I have to refrain from using my blinker and instead, cut them off?   Are we really collectively that rude?  You can tell who is not from Atlanta....because they use their blinker correctly. 
  3. What's the point of strawberry seeds?  You don't plant them, right? 
  4. Time.  It's measurable, obviously, because we created the clock and see that it is.  But then you go into space and it's completely different?  Also, time is perceived differently based on what you're doing and how old you are.  SO weird.  It goes faster because every year that you age, 1 year becomes less, if we're talking fractions.
  5. Why do girls say "Nothing's wrong" when something is most definitely wrong?  I have to admit, I respect a guy who says "Ok, well then I am not asking you again.  Either tell me or I'm moving on."  It's so embarrassing that we do that.
  6. Why on EARTH do adults at the zoo stand in front of little children, who are fighting to see the animals?  I swear.  I go to the zoo enough, someone's going down eventually.  I just DO NOT GET IT.  Losers. Move, so the little people can see!  Don't tell me you've never seen a monkey before.  You're 35 years old!
  7. Why do people ask if my boy/girl twins are identical?  Maybe the definition of "identical" isn't clear?  Yeah, actually, it is, pretty much.
  8. Why people in customer service act like you're bothering them.  I mean, isn't that kind of why you're there?
  9. Why Oprah ended her show. Note to Oprah: the world is less informed and less inspired.  Please, come back.  Even my kids say they miss you.  Seriously.
  10. Roly Polys.  I don't get these bugs.  What do they contribute?  What do they do other than walk around and roll in a ball when they get scared?  They're like little turtle bugs.

Monday, July 22, 2013

The Royal Baby

And topping the news today?  The Royal Baby!

Andddddd I just don't get it.

We aren't British.  We fought with England for our independence years ago.  My gosh, we gave up TEA!  Talk about taking drastic measures!  Parliament makes all of the rules now anyway.  I just don't understand this nonsense.  Great.  They had a baby.  A king with no power whatsoever.  Wooohooo, stop the press!

Meanwhile, there were huge breakthroughs in stem cell research today.  And the scientists?  BRITISH.  They should've waited a few days to tell us.  Actually, it just dawned on me that they probably waited to share this info because stem cell research is so controversial.   "Just wait until the royal baby is born...no one will notice."  Sly little scientists.  They can't get anything by ME!


http://www.foxnews.com/health/2013/07/22/cure-for-blindness-stem-cell-advance-boosts-prospects-for-retina-treatment/




Friday, July 19, 2013

Flashback Friday-To Be 12

Once upon a time there was a little girl.  She knew nothing about the world and then one day she did.

The little girl was told she was a child and then in the next moment, she was told to grow up.  She wanted to be like her mother, but she still wanted to be a child.  She paid attention to what men thought of women, and all of a sudden she realized that she wasn't as good.  She saw what women thought of men, and yet she wasn't supposed to have an opinion. 

Because she was a girl, things were not expected of her.  Because she was a girl, much was expected of her: sit like a lady, be strong like a boy, don't blurt your opinions, giggle instead, don't interrupt, don't wear white after labor day, don't get fat because no one will like you, don't have sex with boys because then no one will respect you, don't be a goody-goody because you'll have no friends, don't be bad because if you die you'll go to hell, don't be too good or people think you're a snob, don't wear clothes that are too revealing, wear clothes that are revealing, smile, it's ok to cry, don't gossip, don't get a reputation, don't be a doormat, take the high road, treat others well, treat others badly, keep your mouth shut, other girls are whores, all guys want is sex, that's not true....I just really love you.

She was brokenhearted that the world wasn't perfect because this meant that she wouldn't be either. She knew that she had limited days to be a child and that one day she'd forget how to play.
The little girl was herself, but she didn't understand anything about herself anymore.  Everything about her black and white world suddenly seemed grey.  She wanted to make people happy, but she wasn't happy because she was confused and lost.  She thought she knew things, but she also knew her parents were always right.  She felt the need to speak her opinion, but then she was told she was being disrespectful.   She looked in the mirror and saw the same little girl she'd always seen, but then her favorite male teacher told her she looked good in jeans.  She wasn't a little girl anymore and she was really sad.

One day the little girl became an adult and she had a beautiful daughter.  Then her daughter turned 12 and she realized she'd forgotten how hard it was. 

The weight of the world is on you at 12.

If only I could remember that...... 










Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Top 10-Ways to Inspire Someone

  1. Be Honest. Be real.  No one likes a person who is full of crap.  People like to be heard, they like to feel like they aren't alone in the world, and they like to feel connection.  Why the hell are we on this planet if not to connect, learn and grow from each other?  How can you get close to someone if you are dishonest about your shortcomings and who you are?  How can you feel loved if you know you're being fake?  Take your wall down and show someone else the truth.  You're lovely, even with your flaws and if they don't like it, who cares?  Being genuine is very inspiring to those who are not.  It makes people brave to try being themselves and not to care what others think.  Plus, there's only one you.  No one else is exactly like you.  Don't rip the rest of us off with some lame carbon copy of your neighbor.
  2. Smile and Be Positive.  If the first wrinkles I get are smile lines, I am cool with that.  I smile every day.  Every single day, I smile and laugh.  Now, sometimes it's more often throughout the day than others, but I smile throughout every day of my life.  Like Will Ferrell says in Elf, "I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite."  Ha ha.  I love smiling.  Smiling is a very simple way to make yourself happy and to improve every facet of your day.  And do you know what a smile does to someone else?  It disarms them.  Also, remember that the best time to keep a smile on your face is when you really shouldn't be smiling about anything. 
  3. Surprise Someone. I get a kick out of shocking the hell out of people.  Sometimes I feel like I am "this" and then "that" comes out of my mouth.  People look up and say "Did she say that?"  Sometimes I do something completely incongruent with what someone expects and it amuses me.  I love watching people get outside their comfort zone and do something that is completely unexpected.  It's inspiring for me to watch.
  4. Be Interesting. The only way for you to be interesting is to be interested in other things and others.  Draw from the world, draw from your surroundings, and then ponder those things. Do you know how awesome this place is to live?  It is hilarious and beautiful.  Slow down.  Look around.  Be interested.  You'll be more interesting. 
  5. Be Good. I didn't say be perfect.  I said be good.  Be a good person.  Have a heart.  Feel something for someone other than yourself.  Love others.  Put people before yourself.  People pay attention to that.
  6. Know Who You Are. If you don't know who you are, how do you know what you want?  If you don't know what you want, how will you know where to go?  If you sit in one place, how are you living your life?  How are you inspiring others by sitting in one place, not doing anything with it?  Get up, figure out who you are and what you want and make a plan.  Just do it. 
  7. Compliment Others. Tell people what you see when you look at them.  The act of you telling them is not what's inspiring, but the fact that you see something in them may inspire them to hone in on it more.  Maybe they have no idea how awesome they are. Be their cheerleader.  There is absolutely no reason to begrudge someone of a compliment.  We are all struggling with ourselves in some way and yet I can tell you that 100% of the time there is something I can find about someone else that I like.  Now, there are some pretty evil people in the world and maybe this gets me into trouble, but it's true that everyone has something good about them.  There is a good quality about every person on this planet and I make an effort to see it even when the person sucks at life.
  8. Be Passionate. Don't do things half-ass.  Love what you're doing and if you don't love it, do something else.  This goes for people too.  Be passionate toward the people in your life.  Love them with passion.  
  9. Dream. John Lennon said it best. You may be a dreamer, but you're not the only one.  Creativity and the ability and desire to think whimsically is the color of the world. 
  10. Don't Settle.  Be strong and know what you want and what you're worth. Once you figure out that you're ok alone and that at the end of the day you're by yourself, you're less willing to settle for crap and you're more willing to tell someone who isn't worth your time that they are in fact, a waste of your time.  My attitude is this....some things are acceptable to me, some are not, and that's all there is to it.  It makes the weeding-out process easy.  Compromise is healthy, but compromising yourself, your values, and your desires and needs is really not ok at all. 




Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Heels

I was walking down to Highland Bakery for a smoothie today and as I was ordering, this adorable girl with a great figure stood next to me.  She was very pretty and wore a pencil skirt and a pretty pair of heels. I waited for my smoothie and she waited for her coffee; I got my order a few seconds after she got hers.  I turned to exit and I saw her walking in front of me in her 5 inch heels that made her WALK LIKE A JUNGLE ANIMAL.

You know, here's the thing about heels: they suck.  Sure, they look good.  Your calves look cut, your ass looks tight, your legs look long....but if you walk like some bizarre circus act, how is that attractive?  I mean, it kind of ruins the whole package, right?  I know girls who can wear heels like a pro and look really hot.  I am unfortunately not this way, unless I stand in one place and don't move at all; most of the time I have to hold onto something stationary.  Everyone around me would prefer that I embrace my shortness because when I wear heels I whine the whole time, I start walking like Forrest Gump in leg braces, and at some point in the evening I become the barefoot skank who walks around with gas station feet. 

I love shoes, but I hate them. I have problems with nearly every pair I ever own.  Even walking around without shoes hurts my feet sometimes because my arches cramp up.  They are really high.  I can handle a 2-inch heel.  Two inches-that's pretty much what my grandma can wear without breaking a hip.  I am a total bad ass, right?

Heels are my nemesis.


Here's a little history on the high heel:

 
http://www.randomhistory.com/1-50/036heels.html


And in case you miss the last paragraph of this article, it says that girls are starting to have their toes shortened and artificial padding injected into the balls of their feet so they can wear heels. Ewww!


Friday, July 12, 2013

Flashback Friday-Nightmares

This isn't a fun blog because I had nightmares all night.  I had one of the worst dreams I have ever had in my life last night.  I woke up to my heart pounding out of my chest and I had cotton mouth because I was panting. I couldn't wake up from it for a long time and I felt like I couldn't breathe when I finally did.  In fact, it was such a terrible dream, I can't even go into it.  It's freaking me out this morning.  It seemed so real and it was extremely graphic.

I have always had nightmares.  When I was a little girl I used to be afraid to go to sleep because I was afraid I would have one.  The main reason I was so scared though is that on top of having these terrifying nightmares, I also walked in my sleep.  Sleepwalking is a lot like being drunk, in that you remember later and you're sort of aware of what you're doing while you're doing it, but you don't really know and it scares you because you know you aren't fully in control.  I talked to people when I was sleepwalking.  Actually, I didn't do much talking, but more hyperventilating and trying to tell the adult why I was so scared, but I never could.  No one ever understood me, which scared me even more.  I would try to tell them about my dream, but it was too hard to talk. 

The worst time ever, I was about 9 and I left my house.  When I walked back in, my mom was standing with a bat, ready to hit me over the head.  She thought I was a burglar.  She screamed "BRITTANY!  What are you DOING?"  I woke up for a second and then fell back asleep and walked to bed.  After this, I was even more afraid to sleep because I was scared I would walk out into the road and get hit by a car. 

I am groggy this morning.  This was seriously one of the worst dreams ever.  I have been having bad dreams about hurricanes and burglars and fire, but this one was so violent, it was like I was living through A Clockwork Orange and couldn't wake up.  It also had something to do with someone I loved.

Why???  I am such a happy person.  Why am I such a little girl when I sleep? 





Thursday, July 11, 2013

The Lone Ant

You have to get to know a house.  There is absolutely no way to find the quirkiness of a house before living in it, which is why it's kind of a blessing that I get to rebuild mine.  I get to change some of the things I hated.  Like for example, I have always wanted to move a light fixture in the kitchen over about a foot.  It didn't make any sense where it was and now it will.  I have been in my rental house for about a month now.  It has been a blessing in so many ways, including that its owner is a wonderful lady and I adore her.  The house has been perfect, however, I have noticed a phenomenon occurring in my bathroom.

Every time I go to the sink to brush my teeth or wash my face, I notice that there is always one ant on the counter.  Never two, never four, always one.  Only one, every single time.  Every time I see the one ant, I squish it and make sure it goes down the drain and drowns, so I know it isn't the same ant coming back.  I have a scenario in my head that goes something like this: The ants are all hiding somewhere and there's something going on wherever they are.  They want to leave, but they can't because they would get caught by their captors.  Maybe it's even that they see me coming in to brush my teeth, so they figure they shouldn't all die at once.  Instead, they send one ant out at a time to test the safety of the situation.  Maybe what I don't see is that the captive ants are one by one getting to where they are going while I am gone and I am really only catching the poor ant who was in the middle of his travel to the Promised Land.  The only thing wrong with that theory is that the Lone Ant always looks confused, aimlessly wandering the bathroom counter as if it's a desert.  You'd think if ants were smart enough to concoct a plan like this, then they would know where the hell they were going.  The only other thing that's wrong with my theory is that this is real life and not a Disney movie. 

I don't really know where the ant comes from, but it's always there.  Here's a picture of the one I killed this morning while I was brushing my teeth:


RIP, Lonely Ant



Tuesday, July 9, 2013

What's Up!

I am back in town!  I had such a great time with Carson, Brea and her family.  We went to the zoo, watched fireworks, had a party with great people, saw a movie, and I finally met her best Ohio girlfriends....it was an awesome time together.  Allie and Christy already knew everything about me and I knew everything about them.  We all clicked and it was so much fun. 

Having Carson alone was so special.  I have never had one child at a time for that long and it's a different experience.  I was able to really pay attention to everything he said and did.  I miss him today.  I missed my other kids while I was gone and I am determined to get more one on one with each of them.  I think it's important. 

I will eventually post pictures and write more, but any time you go out of town, you come back with a lot to do. 

I hope you're having a great day!

Friday, July 5, 2013

Flashback Friday-Matryoshka Nesting Dolls

This was one of my favorite things I owned growing up.  In fact, I still placed it on my dresser and hope that I haven't lost it in the fire. What child wouldn't like this toy?  I loved taking it apart.  It was like finding a treasure. 

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Happy 4th of July!



Happy 4th of July!  Enjoy yourselves and be careful!



“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”
 -Mahatma Gandhi

“Better to die on one's feet than to live on one's knees.”-Jean-Paul Sartre

“When the people fear the government there is tyranny, when the government fears the people there is liberty.”  -Thomas Jefferson

“If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.”
-Noam Chomsky

“He who has overcome his fears will truly be free.”-Aristotle

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Top 10-Places That Make Me Sweat (Or Would if I Were Brave Enough To Go)

  1. Taco Bell-I am immediately thrown into a panic as soon as I pull into a Taco Bell parking lot.  First of all, I don't like Taco Bell, so I am always there for someone else.  Plus, there is a good chance that there's a combo menu going on.  Whose ridiculous idea was this to sell KFC and Long John Silver's with Taco Bell?  It's just too overwhelming.  The Taco Bell menu ALONE is overwhelming and if you have children in the car with you, well, it is almost imminent that I am going to have a panic or screaming attack before I leave the parking lot.  They need to attach a pharmacies to Taco Bells so people can pick up their Xanax after the hellish ordeal of ordering.
  2. Wall Street-This is painful for me to watch.  Have you seen this?  What are they doing, who is talking to who, and what about all of those little pieces of paper on the ground?  What do they all mean, and who is keeping track of what is going on?  The bells, the yelling, the constant hand motions....it's too much!  Who thought that this was a good idea?  It's uncomfortable to watch and it makes no sense to me.
  3. Chuck E. Cheese-Let's just go ahead and say any place in the world with a thousand dings, lights, children, and screams....is uncomfortable. When I go to a place like this, I try to sit in one place and not make any sudden movements; you're safer that way.  I feel like I am on sensory overload and I am about to explode, yet I have to smile and pretend to be having fun. 
  4. Hunting Towers-I don't know what those deer hunting towers are called; I have enough sense NOT to go hunting because I have no interest in killing animals.   The real reason I would never want to try hunting is because if I had to sit there and be quiet for hours like one does, I would go absolutely insane.  I can't imagine sitting still, smelling like deer pee and NOT having something to say about it.  I would probably beg for someone to mistake me for a deer and shoot me just so I could go home. 
  5. A Port-a-Potty-We have knowledge about distant galaxies and people can actually explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity, yet no one with that amount of brain power has figured out a more sanitary way to use the restroom in large crowds who are away from indoor plumbing?  I just don't get it.  It's so gross.  I will pee my pants before I go into a box with a hole in the bottom.  Actually, I would rather find a wooded area than to be trapped in a box with others' stench.  Ewww.
  6. A Rodeo-I don't fit in here.
  7. Any place where there is a security line-I know this sounds like I must be up to no good, but I can assure you that's not the case.  Number 1, I never clean out my purse so there's a good chance I am going to get called for tweezers that have scissor-like handles.  Actually, I may even have scissors; that's happened before.  Number 2, there are the thoughts.  Before I go through security I am thinking about how I am about to be the ONE ass in line, holding everyone up because I am not prepared and my lotion bottle is too large and has to be confiscated.  Some more thoughts before I go through security.....I hope that my socks don't have holes in them and that they match (because unlike my underwear drawer, I tend to neglect my sock drawer).  Why did I wear these tall boots?  I'll probably drop all of my stuff pulling them off.  And I know security is going to grope me. And they usually do because I have scissors in my purse.
  8. Home Depot-When I enter a home improvement store, I naturally walk in dazed and confused.  My lack of home improvement knowledge has served me well and I will tell you why.  Wearing fear, confusion and intimidation on my face has resulted in many employees rushing to my aid.  Now when entering one of these stores, I don't even really panic.  I walk in, look scared, hold up the part that I am replacing, the more bewildered and stupid you look the better, and it takes just under 10 seconds for some good handyman to find me, pity me, lead me to the right aisle, and pick out the part.  I walk out thanking them, smiling, and with the right part....all because I looked stupid.  Try it ladies.  It's just one more way to wear your boobs better. 
  9. An Insurance Seminar-I think that even people who sell insurance have to be bored.  This has to be one of the MOST boring fields in which to work.  So being that it is probably the most boring field of study, I would imagine that a seminar about it would be the most boring seminars in which to sit, which means that a person who has a hard time paying attention would more than likely want to avoid a place where its particulars are discussed. 
  10. An Ashram-Yoga is hard for anyone.  Meditation is difficult for anyone.  But being a person who gets flustered while ordering fast food is really going to struggle.  Don't get me wrong, everyone probably needs to get away and think and be quiet....but painful it would be...and I love yoga.







Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Sh** Girls Say

These videos are so true.  And I DO hate trying on clothes. 

Before you watch them, and while I am at it, now would be a good time to tell you that I actually heard my daughter say on Sunday "Mom!  Tell Logan to stop!  He keeps twerking on me!!!!" 

Omg.

Ok, enjoy....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-yLGIH7W9Y


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbovd-e-hRg&feature=c4-overview&playnext=1&list=TLmEQLSkowEaE


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYP-n8NSUv0



Monday, July 1, 2013

Up In Flames

Have you ever been consumed by a feeling and then one day something happens and it's just gone and you can't explain what happened?  How does a feeling that has been so powerful and consuming for an extended period of time just go up in flames and disappear?  How does something so powerful that it's brought you to tears turn into a complete lack of feeling?  You feel nothing, almost to the point that you don't even feel like talking about it because you're so tired and bored of the topic.  I can say that this is almost always how I get over things...over night, well, sort of over night.  The process is so grueling and draining and then for no apparent reason different than any other reason I could have chosen throughout the process, I am just done. It's almost like this: I am standing in a field being swarmed by bees.  I am crying and freaking out and swatting at them but I refuse to run away, and then all of a sudden, with no warning, I stand there, not phased or feeling anything.  It's crazy.  It's like, I am the most passionate person about a subject and then I become completely numb and unaffected.  My white flag goes up and I just don't care anymore.  I guess I always come to realize that God is the only one in control and life just isn't fair.  Sometimes you can love, and it isn't enough.  Sometimes you can fear, and things will still happen.  Sometimes you can do everything right, and you aren't right.  Sometimes you can hold onto something, and then it lets go of you.  And thankfully it does because I feel like I would always be sad if I kept caring about things that don't care back. 

I remember talking to someone about this a year ago.  He was recalling the moment he knew he had completely checked out of his relationship.  His wife was screaming at him and he actually reached down and picked something up off of the carpet and looked at it and threw it away.  And that was it.  He had become apathetic.  No amount of screaming, name calling, begging, I love you's, I hate you's,  mattered or would have changed the outcome.  The outcome?  He was gone. 

I have always said this and it's 100% true.... I have the longest fuse in the world but when I am done, I am done.  Of course, no one has believed me yet.  I find this disturbing about myself.  I am passionate beyond belief.  If I love you, there's nothing I won't do for you.  And when I don't love you anymore, you can't even get me to yell at you.  I care that little.  One of the most fearful moments in my life has always been when explaining to a person that they are going to lose me because I know that it'll be beyond my control.  I can't fake my heart and I refuse to try. 

Maybe we're all like this and no one admits it.  Otherwise how would any of us heal?  We wouldn't end things to begin with, much less start something new. 

There's a Coldplay song called "Up In Flames" and at the end he says "Can we out some water on it?"  And too many times, I have heard the answer....No.