Once upon a time there was a little girl. She knew nothing about the world and then one day she did.
The little girl was told she was a child and then in the next moment, she was told to grow up. She wanted to be like her mother, but she still wanted to be a child. She paid attention to what men thought of women, and all of a sudden she realized that she wasn't as good. She saw what women thought of men, and yet she wasn't supposed to have an opinion.
Because she was a girl, things were not expected of her. Because she was a girl, much was expected of her: sit like a lady, be strong like a boy, don't blurt your opinions, giggle instead, don't interrupt, don't wear white after labor day, don't get fat because no one will like you, don't have sex with boys because then no one will respect you, don't be a goody-goody because you'll have no friends, don't be bad because if you die you'll go to hell, don't be too good or people think you're a snob, don't wear clothes that are too revealing, wear clothes that are revealing, smile, it's ok to cry, don't gossip, don't get a reputation, don't be a doormat, take the high road, treat others well, treat others badly, keep your mouth shut, other girls are whores, all guys want is sex, that's not true....I just really love you.
She was brokenhearted that the world wasn't perfect because this meant that she wouldn't be either. She knew that she had limited days to be a child and that one day she'd forget how to play.
The little girl was herself, but she didn't understand anything about herself anymore. Everything about her black and white world suddenly seemed grey. She wanted to make people happy, but she wasn't happy because she was confused and lost. She thought she knew things, but she also knew her parents were always right. She felt the need to speak her opinion, but then she was told she was being disrespectful. She looked in the mirror and saw the same little girl she'd always seen, but then her favorite male teacher told her she looked good in jeans. She wasn't a little girl anymore and she was really sad.
One day the little girl became an adult and she had a beautiful daughter. Then her daughter turned 12 and she realized she'd forgotten how hard it was.
The weight of the world is on you at 12.
If only I could remember that......
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