This isn't a fun blog because I had nightmares all night. I had one of the worst dreams I have ever had in my life last night. I woke up to my heart pounding out of my chest and I had cotton mouth because I was panting. I couldn't wake up from it for a long time and I felt like I couldn't breathe when I finally did. In fact, it was such a terrible dream, I can't even go into it. It's freaking me out this morning. It seemed so real and it was extremely graphic.
I have always had nightmares. When I was a little girl I used to be afraid to go to sleep because I was afraid I would have one. The main reason I was so scared though is that on top of having these terrifying nightmares, I also walked in my sleep. Sleepwalking is a lot like being drunk, in that you remember later and you're sort of aware of what you're doing while you're doing it, but you don't really know and it scares you because you know you aren't fully in control. I talked to people when I was sleepwalking. Actually, I didn't do much talking, but more hyperventilating and trying to tell the adult why I was so scared, but I never could. No one ever understood me, which scared me even more. I would try to tell them about my dream, but it was too hard to talk.
The worst time ever, I was about 9 and I left my house. When I walked back in, my mom was standing with a bat, ready to hit me over the head. She thought I was a burglar. She screamed "BRITTANY! What are you DOING?" I woke up for a second and then fell back asleep and walked to bed. After this, I was even more afraid to sleep because I was scared I would walk out into the road and get hit by a car.
I am groggy this morning. This was seriously one of the worst dreams ever. I have been having bad dreams about hurricanes and burglars and fire, but this one was so violent, it was like I was living through A Clockwork Orange and couldn't wake up. It also had something to do with someone I loved.
Why??? I am such a happy person. Why am I such a little girl when I sleep?
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