Top 10-Places That Make Me Sweat (Or Would if I Were Brave Enough To Go)

1. Taco Bell-I am immediately thrown into a panic as soon as I pull into a Taco Bell parking lot.  First of all, I don't like Taco Bell, so I am always there for someone else.  Plus, there is a good chance that there's a combo menu going on.  Whose ridiculous idea was this to sell KFC and Long John Silver's with Taco Bell?  It's just too overwhelming.  The Taco Bell menu ALONE is overwhelming and if you have children in the car with you, well, it is almost imminent that I am going to have a panic or screaming attack before I leave the parking lot.  They need to attach a pharmacies to Taco Bells so people can pick up their Xanax after the hellish ordeal of ordering.
2. Wall Street-This is painful for me to watch.  Have you seen this?  What are they doing, who is talking to who, and what about all of those little pieces of paper on the ground?  What do they all mean, and who is keeping track of what is going on?  The bells, the yelling, the constant hand motions....it's too much!  Who thought that this was a good idea?  It's uncomfortable to watch and it makes no sense to me.
3. Chuck E. Cheese-Let's just go ahead and say any place in the world with a thousand dings, lights, children, and screams....is uncomfortable. When I go to a place like this, I try to sit in one place and not make any sudden movements; you're safer that way.  I feel like I am on sensory overload and I am about to explode, yet I have to smile and pretend to be having fun. 
4. Hunting Towers-I don't know what those deer hunting towers are called; I have enough sense NOT to go hunting because I have no interest in killing animals.   The real reason I would never want to try hunting is because if I had to sit there and be quiet for hours like one does, I would go absolutely insane.  I can't imagine sitting still, smelling like deer pee and NOT having something to say about it.  I would probably beg for someone to mistake me for a deer and shoot me just so I could go home. 
5. A Port-a-Potty-We have knowledge about distant galaxies and people can actually explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity, yet no one with that amount of brain power has figured out a more sanitary way to use the restroom in large crowds who are away from indoor plumbing?  I just don't get it.  It's so gross.  I will pee my pants before I go into a box with a hole in the bottom.  Actually, I would rather find a wooded area than to be trapped in a box with others' stench.  Ewww.
6. A Rodeo-I don't fit in here.
7. Any place where there is a security line-I know this sounds like I must be up to no good, but I can assure you that's not the case.  Number 1, I never clean out my purse so there's a good chance I am going to get called for tweezers that have scissor-like handles.  Actually, I may even have scissors; that's happened before.  Number 2, there are the thoughts.  Before I go through security I am thinking about how I am about to be the ONE ass in line, holding everyone up because I am not prepared and my lotion bottle is too large and has to be confiscated.  Some more thoughts before I go through security.....I hope that my socks don't have holes in them and that they match (because unlike my underwear drawer, I tend to neglect my sock drawer).  Why did I wear these tall boots?  I'll probably drop all of my stuff pulling them off.  And I know security is going to grope me. And they usually do because I have scissors in my purse.
8. Home Depot-When I enter a home improvement store, I naturally walk in dazed and confused.  My lack of home improvement knowledge has served me well and I will tell you why.  Wearing fear, confusion and intimidation on my face has resulted in many employees rushing to my aid.  Now when entering one of these stores, I don't even really panic.  I walk in, look scared, hold up the part that I am replacing, the more bewildered and stupid you look the better, and it takes just under 10 seconds for some good handyman to find me, pity me, lead me to the right aisle, and pick out the part.  I walk out thanking them, smiling, and with the right part....all because I looked stupid.  Try it ladies.  It's just one more way to wear your boobs better. 
9. An Insurance Seminar-I think that even people who sell insurance have to be bored.  This has to be one of the MOST boring fields in which to work.  So being that it is probably the most boring field of study, I would imagine that a seminar about it would be the most boring seminars in which to sit, which means that a person who has a hard time paying attention would more than likely want to avoid a place where its particulars are discussed. 
10. An Ashram-Yoga is hard for anyone.  Meditation is difficult for anyone.  But being a person who gets flustered while ordering fast food is really going to struggle.  Don't get me wrong, everyone probably needs to get away and think and be quiet....but painful it would be...and I love yoga.