Top 10 Reasons To Become a Rapper

1.       Your power could get cut off, your boss could yell at you, your house could burn down, but you’re good as long as your bitches love you.

 

2.       Having gold teeth is not a sign of dental neglect. 

 

3.       You get to make it rain.  Doing it with Monopoly money just isn’t the same.  Trust me.

 

4.       You get to yell things like “Twoooooo Chaiiiiiins” and people will pay you.  I walk around yelling that while I clean my house and no one throws me two pennies.

 

5.       You get to put Lil in front of your name even if you weigh 500 pounds.

 

6.       You can get old and no one cares.  Dre will be the coolest thing a nursing home has ever seen.

 

7.       You can wear sunglasses at night and no one thinks you're a douche.  Let's be honest.  A dark club is a perfect place for SUNglasses.

 

8.        You can speak like Lil John and no one will be confused. 

 

 

It just isn't as accurate coming from me.

 

 

 

 9.        You get to dive in swimming pools of liquor.

 

 

 

10.        You get to wear cool hats. 

 

                  

            

Me, in a cool hat.