Bubble Girl

I am beginning to think that I should walk around in a bubble.  Even better, I should wrap myself in CAUTION tape and wear a red, blinking hard hat.

I locked my keys in my car yesterday.  I was on the phone with my contractor and ran out to the car to get some papers.  I must have hit the lock button on the keyless entry and I put the keys on the seat and closed the door.  I went back inside to put my gym shoes on, looked around for the keys and couldn't find them.  I went back outside, looked on the seat and SURE ENOUGH, they were locked inside the car.  I called a locksmith and he was there in a jiffy, for $110.  Awesome.

I have a cut on my back because I was on the ab bench, which was inclined as far as it would go; and when I was finished with my sit-ups, I decided it might be fun to slide down because it was so steep.  It was fun until I cut my back on a weight that was on the floor.  After my friend and my trainer called me a dork, I said "Hey, is there a scratch on my back?  It kinda burns."  They started laughing and said "You're bleeding!" 

Last week I ripped off my toenail because I kicked a toy truck.

The week before that, my house burned down.

I have always thought that I did stuff like this because of the kids (they certainly don't help with my focus) but they are out of town and I am still doing stuff like this.   I know that a lot of what has happened to me I couldn't have prevented, but the goofy stuff is totally me.  My co-worker noticed that I seem to spiral out of control and get overly chatty and hyper around 3:00, which is typical for a person with ADHD.  She said "Adderall would change your life".  I am really scared to take something because I read an article about this girl who started hallucinating in the shower.  She swore there were spiders crawling all over her body.  I would rather lock my keys in my car every day of my life than for spiders to be crawling all over me, real or not.

I don't know.  Maybe I just have a lot going on right now......or that's just me.  I know I am spacey, which makes me a control freak in other ways.  I like things a certain way because it makes me feel in control.  I have such a hard time focusing, it is exhausting, so I like having things a particular way.  That way, I don't have to think about it.  It's all there the way I like it. 

I constantly feel like I am battling myself.