Question 2-Why Do We Like the Bad Boy?

I got this question twice this week and the funny thing is that I have written about it before, mainly because I have wondered why as well.

There is an old song by Gloria Estefan that says "Bad bad bad bad boys, you make me feel so good" and it's kind of spot on.  Oh and P.S. the song sucks.  A lot of men feel as if women complain about being treated like crap and then knowingly run right back to it even when there is someone who will treat them well sitting right in front of them.  I get it.  I'm sorry.  It sucks.  I will say that I don't think that any of us want to be treated like crap, but I do recognize that some of us have a pattern and it has to be infuriating for nice guys to watch.  I know that because I feel the same way when I watch guys keep chasing someone who will only hurt them.  And I think it's important to point out that it isn't just girls who do it.  Nice guys act like they want a nice girl but then sometimes they will find themselves chasing the wrong ones just like we do.  This leads me to the most basic of the theories....

• Some (or most) of us want to be challenged, we like exciting, and we like fun and spontaneous.   Bad boys are definitely this, right?  It doesn't mean that good guys aren't this too, but maybe we fall into the trap of a bad boy because they are a challenge or exciting.   And then maybe they tend to be moodier or make bad decisions or jerk us around and that's just what the aftermath is.  I don't know.  What I can say is that in every girl's head, she knows that it would probably be better to pick a nice, sweet, measured man who is always dependable and always predictable, even with the risk of becoming bored...but for some reason, some of us just never do.  Maybe a lot of us just can't resist the excitement and we aren't attracted to the good boy.  The perfect "bad boy" is a good guy who is exciting and assertive and confident. 

Other theories:

• Sexual attraction. You know how you guys want a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets?  Well, we really are not that different.  We want to be respected and loved and treated well in the streets but we really don't want to tell you what to do when you're in bed because we want a guy who is quite frankly, going to pick us up and know what to do with us because it's hot.  The nice guys wind up in the friend zone because they kind of put themselves there because they move slower than the asshole or the bad boy. And I know it isn't fair, but sometimes this is the case.  We aren't asking you to assault us, but you can still take charge while respecting us. The guys I knew 15 years ago who never grabbed me and kissed me still haven't grabbed me and kissed me and I wasn't going to do it first because it doesn't appeal to me.  Have you ever noticed that girls say "Why are the nice guys always with bitches"? I wonder if it's because the bad girls pounce them and the roles are reversed.  If you put two nice people together, maybe they will just sit there and not do anything. Every guy I have ever liked has taken initiative and made me realize pretty much right away that he was not going to want to be just my friend. 
• We are Fixers. This is a little more messed up and I have an issue with this because if this is true, then happiness will never be possible.  Women seem to go where we are needed and I think that some of us are so strong that we have no idea what to do with a self-sufficient person and we don't know how to let someone take care of us. There are girls who need to feel taken care of and then there are girls who take care of themselves and therefore, get into a habit of taking care of others. 
• We have no self-esteem.  I struggle with this one as well because I don't think any girl wakes up and says "I deserve nothing, I deserve an ass who treats me like crap", and if they feel like that, it's subconsciously.  That's a hard one to nail.  Do we choose the bad boy because we think we don't deserve the nice guy?  Do we think we are bad and will hurt a nice guy?  Do we feel like we will run all over them and need someone to stand up to us? 
• We view the nice guy as a pushover and we aren't attracted to that. I can tell you that even if this is wrong, which it is because not all nice people are pushovers, the fact that some women think it is 100% true.  Most women will have an issue with this, unless they get off on emasculating a man.  I certainly don't get turned on by treating a man like crap and watching him take it.  Be a nice guy with a backbone.  Don't let us run over you.  
• We are good.  Some of us like to be corrupted.  Plain and simple.  We know we aren't going to do something bad without some influence, so I guess we cave when you bring it on. 

If you are getting the runaround from a girl, I am about to give you the most honest advice I can....consider the possibility of the theories above, but when a girl is torn or confused about you, there is usually some reason why and the attraction is usually off. Be careful not to accept some bullshit excuse and understand that sometimes she's just not into you and she isn't attracted to you.  Maybe she does like jerks, but in that case, consider it a compliment.  I am not proud to say it, but I have told my girlfriends things like "I'm not attracted to him" or "I can't imagine kissing him" and yet I never gave that reason to the guy.  Just keep that in mind.