I'm at a point where I don't know what I'm more afraid of....loving madly again with the possibility of getting hurt again or never loving again and staying safe. When I am alone, I am in control of my feelings for the most part and I'm balanced. When I'm in love I lose a part of myself, the part that loves myself....the smart side. At least that's what it seems like to me.
Maybe when you're in love you shouldn't feel off balance. Maybe that's always the problem with the way I love. I get lost in a storm and I'm all alone when I land. I really don't want someone to sweep me away in a whirlwind again if they aren't going to catch me. But most of all, I don't want to hold an umbrella and fly away on purpose expecting not to fall on my ass.
That's all. I realized today that I'm very confused.
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