Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The Real Reason the Falcons Lost

I know I usually do a Top 10 on Wednesdays, but it's been a couple of days since the Falcons lost and I feel that it's time I divulge the real reason that they lost. 

I watched the game at a friend's house.  The couple has a little Gnome that we named "Tony Gnomo".  He is dressed in Falcons gear from head to toe and watches the game from the coffee table.  People pat his little head, rub his butt, give him a fist pump or two.....you get the point.

I am sorry to say that Tony Gnomo is the real reason that the Falcons lost.  With about 4 minutes left in the game, Tony Gnomo was accidentally knocked over and his arm broke off.  We all screamed and panicked and searched for super glue.  There was no such super glue.

That's why the Falcons lost. 

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Happy (Belated) Birthday, Haphazard Daily!

I have been really distracted and completely forgot that I started this blog two years ago on January 18th, 2011.  Happy late birthday to my blog!  :)

Thank you to all of my dedicated readers and email subscribers!  I originally started writing just to keep my brain working while at home with the kids.  I also started it to serve as a little place for my thoughts and feelings.  I had no idea that anyone would even read it.  I especially didn't think that if a day went by that I didn't write, I would get emails and texts asking where I was.  I appreciate it and I just want to tell you thank you!  This has been a great little project for me over the last two years. 

-Britt



Friday, January 18, 2013

Flashback Friday-My First Kiss

I recall my first kiss as one of the worst experiences of my entire life. 

I was in 8th grade and going to Sea Camp with my class.  We were driving down to the Keys and about 5 or 6 of us were in one of the chaperone's Suburban.  She must've been lost in her NPR or something because I would NEVER allow this to happen in MY car.  She never made a peep about anything going on in the back seat; so strange.

We were all playing Truth or Dare and someone dared a girl named Katie to kiss a guy whose name I will not mention.  This was her first kiss and it was really funny.  I laughed.  She attacked his face.  After laughing, I thought "Crap."  It was my turn and I had to kiss the same guy and I really didn't want to, especially because he had just kissed someone else.  I did it though and I was totally repulsed.

We almost immediately stopped at a rest stop.  Katie and I ran to the bathroom and spit in the sink for about 10 minutes and screamed about how bad of a kisser he was.  It was really gross. 




Thursday, January 17, 2013

Peachy Pyron

I have a favorite local musician and her name is Peachy Pyron.  I have been trying to book her at the restaurant and while doing so, I have talked with her mom quite a bit.  I asked her if I could share her website on my blog and she said "Post away!" 

Now, do me a favor and listen to her.  Look at how beautiful she is.  She's 13!!!  This kid is unreal.  I asked her parents why she hasn't been on any of the reality shows and they said she isn't interested in taking that avenue, at least right now.  This kid's talented. 

http://www.peachypyron.com/default.html

http://www.reverbnation.com/peachypyron

She'll be at Donavan's tomorrow night, if anyone wants to catch her. 

-Brittany

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Top 10-Worst Jobs for Me

I am so happy that we are all different and therefore, good at different things.  I have compiled a list of jobs that I think I would be absolutely terrible at. 
  1. Librarian or Monk-I would make the worst librarian of all time.  I mean, I love books and I am down with the Dewey Decimal system, but I just couldn't imagine being that quiet all day.  I'd get fired the first day.
  2. The guys doing the sign language on Wall Street-I have always been mesmerized by this.  How do they know who they're talking to?  And doesn't it get confusing after a while?  I don't think that I could do this. 
  3. Court Reporter-How do they remember everything while they are typing, and what if they think something like "I'm hungry, I could really use a Snickers right now" and they miss the defendant admitting to murder?  You can't exactly say "Excuse me, would you mind repeating that?  I was dazed for a second!" What happens if they forget?  That's sort of the reason that they are there, to be the one person recollecting what happens.
  4. Doctor or Nurse-I don't really like watching a needle go into my arm, so I imagine pricking someone else would just be absolutely nauseating.  I had blood drawn yesterday and I had to turn my head.  I told the nurse to warn me before she did it.  I prefer blood to stay on the inside of someone's body.
  5. Accounting-I mean, in general, I think I have made it clear that I would be the worst person in the world to do anything regarding money for a career.
  6. Chef-I am a bland eater.  I have no palate.  I can follow a recipe and make it, but I am not at all creative with food.
  7. Sewer Cleaner-I wish that the people who do this knew how much I respect them, but I don't know anyone who does this for a living.  I hope that they make A LOT of money.  I can't imagine this.  When I think about how horrible this would be, I feel like never whining again about anything I ever do.
  8. Tattoo Artist-Anyone getting a tat from me would wind up with a stick figure, and the legs wouldn't even be even.
  9. A Massage Therapist-My hands would get tired, and I feel like it would be weird touching people like that all day.  Thanks to the people who are cool with it though!  Massages are amazing!
  10. Dermatologist-I have issues with pores and skin, especially if there was a problem with it.  I get itchy. 

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn

This is such a great song.  It's about letting go of your regrets and forgiving yourself for your mistakes.  I have heard it so many times and never really thought about how it IS darkest before the dawn, metaphorically and literally.  I was getting out of the shower and thought "Hey!  That's a great line and so true!"  I have a friend who hit absolute rock bottom and he went up because there wasn't a place lower to go.  When it's dark and scary, the sun is bound to come out!

Florence and the Machine-Shake it Out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCWnVznnWcs

Monday, January 14, 2013

The Perfect Man

I saw "Gone with the Wind" at the Strand on Friday night with Libbie and it was awesome.  Yes, I have seen this movie many, many times, but it was cool to see it on a big screen.   I liked hearing people laugh collectively. I have always laughed during that movie, but when you watch it with a big group, you realize how well written the script is and how funny it is.

So I am sure that a lot of girls feel this way, but Rhett Butler is sexy as hell.  Right?  Along with being confident and smart and witty, he's handsome and charming. 

I have the perfect fictional male.  Get ready for this.....

Atticus Finch (Scout's dad in To Kill a Mockingbird) and Rhett Butler rolled together.  The reasons?  Well, Rhett is Rhett.  He loves and adores Scarlett’s qualities that make her difficult; he is actually amused by her when others would find her to be an unbelievable pain in the ass.  I love that.  He loves her spirit.  That's awesome.  I assume I can’t be easy to deal with, being so opinionated and all, so I have always liked Rhett Butler.  Rhett's only downfall is that he spoiled his little girl, Bonnie, too much.  I mean, it was really adorable, but it was just ridiculous how much he spoiled her.  That's why I say Atticus Finch would be a good mix.  Atticus was the most perfect dad anyone could have.  He is sound in advice, taught and disciplined his children correctly and lovingly, and he never wavered from what was morally right.  I don't know if I could be attracted to a guy as wholesome and perfect as Atticus Finch though.  I would always feel like I was bad and stupid if I were with a guy like Atticus Finch.  That's why the mix between the two characters is perfect. 




Saturday, January 12, 2013

Mean People

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”-Maya Angelou
I am by no means perfect or nice 100% of the time and I make a lot of mistakes that hurt people, but I can honestly say that I take the quote above seriously and I try not to hurt people.  This quote is so true.  I feel sorry for people who don't know how to treat others, or even care about learning how.  There are a few people in my life who I don't understand and nearly every day, I wonder why they are choosing to treat people like crap when they could just be nice.  It must be exhausting being a giant a-hole.  I'd rather get hurt over and over than to become someone like that out of necessity.  I'm not letting people like that corrupt me.  It's hard though because sometimes you want to tell them how hateful you think they are. 
 
 

Friday, January 11, 2013

Flashback Friday-When I was Almost Kidnapped

When I was six years old, I was almost kidnapped.  My parents were divorced and I flew alone (in the care of a flight attendant), back and forth from Milwaukee to Florida and vice versa, 3 or 4 times a year.  Once, someone tried to kidnap me.

I remember everything about this experience.  I was sitting next to a lady who wouldn’t shut up.  She kept talking to me and I didn’t want to talk to her.  I remember that she looked like the mom in that show “The Hogan Family” and that she was nice, but annoying and I remember feeling uncomfortable. 

We had a layover in some city (I can’t remember where) and she said “When we get off the plane, do you want to go to the store with me and I will get you gum?”  I said NO.  She continued to ask.  I said NO. NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.  NO.

Being a parent, this is the scariest thing about what I remember: I caved because she broke me down.  There is one thing that annoys me to this day and that is to be badgered over and over and over.  I hate telling someone NO repeatedly.  If you ask me over and over, I will say yes JUST TO SHUT YOU UP.  When people badger me and don’t take my first answer, it makes me want to crawl out of my skin and I feel like shutting down or running away or punching someone in the face.  I am sure I am not alone.  I mean, what kind of jackass does that in the first place???  No means no, until you meet me, annoy the crap out of me and get me to say YES.  Anyway,  I thought “Anything to get her to leave me alone!!!!”    I couldn’t take it anymore, so I said “Fine” and I got off the plane.

Now you are probably wondering how the lady physically got me off the plane once I agreed to leave with her.  Well, she must have known that the stewardess had an IQ of 2 because she asked the lady, and she said “Sure! Go ahead!  You can take her!”  The lady proceeded to take me OFF THE PLANE in an UNKNOWN CITY.  She took me to the store, she bought me a pack of gum, and she brought me back.  We got buckled back up, the plane took back off and we landed in Milwaukee.  Well at this point I remember thinking “Wow, this lady isn’t bad!  She bought me gum, and she really is nice!  I like her and I trust her!

So the lady goes back to the stupid stewardess and says “I’ll take her to her mom for you!” And what does the lady say?  “Sure!  You can take her to her mom!” So the lady takes me out into the airport and instead of waiting by the gate like she was supposed to, she grabs my hand and starts walking away with me.  I see my mom, very far away in the opposite direction of where we were heading and I told the Hogan lady that I saw her.  I tried getting free and she held on to my arm.  I remember thinking that she just didn’t hear me, not that she was kidnapping me.  She was pulling me, and I broke free and ran to my mom.  My mom freaked out and said “WHAT ARE YOU DOING OFF THE PLANE???”  You can imagine how upset she was.  I responded innocently “This lady brought me.”  My mom said “Who?”  The lady was nowhere to be found. 

I think my parents got the stewardess fired and got a couple of free airline tickets for their inconvenience. 

I have thought about that day and how I could be in a basement somewhere in chains or a dog cage or something.  Or maybe I could be someone else’s daughter living with Stockholm syndrome, or maybe even dead.   

I feel like God has protected me and really does protect us more than we know. 


Thursday, January 10, 2013

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Hardest Top 10 Ever

I am bound to piss people off with this list because it's absolutely impossible to narrow it down. 

1.       Outkast, Atliens http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NywdVBwzurU
This is the best song, ever.  Ever. Outkast is the best and their songs could make up the entire list, really.  BUT, I tried to choose songs that have stood the test of time—those in which never, ever get old.  This song is always awesome.

2.       8 Ball MJG, Throw Your Hands http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y7HHPjBUek
I know nothing about heavy Chevys and gold teeth, but I know that this is a damn good song.

3.       Notorious B.I.G, Juicy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHio4lLOhKc
       This was a hard decision, but this is the one I went with.

4.       Ice Cube, It was a good day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWfbGGZE07M
This reminds me of when I was a kid and it was probably the first time I had even heard rap.  I think it came out around G Thing, so I would’ve been in middle school I guess?

5.       Youngbloodz, 85 South.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxJsCc128MI
Shout out to Kellie….we LOVE this one.  I am not sure that truly is in the Top 10, but I love this song so there ya go.

6.        NWA, Straight outta Compton, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZqZschnrxM
       I completely left out Eazy E because I really don't want to post any of his stuff because sometimes my son reads my blog. This should make up for it. 

7.       Lil John and the Eastside Boys, Get Low, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYH7_GzP4Tg
I only chose this one because it put them on the map and honestly, there isn’t a white girl in the world who doesn’t run to the dance floor when this comes on.  Lil John is hilarious, so he had to put him on the list.

8.       UGK, One Day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uu5P4pOUuYk
      I love this song.

9.       Dr. Dre, Ain’t Nothin but a G Thing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5uMjrsmgfsA
Duh.

10.   2Pac, Ambitions Az a Rider, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT_yxs_-J1M
2 Pac was really hard.  There are so many good songs, but I went with this one because I just remember thinking it was the best back in the day.  I also always loved the one about the same ho’s in every video. 

I realize that Goodie Mob isn't on it, I am missing Eminem (because I am not a huge Eminem fan), and I realize that I have skipped over many other people.  Like I said, this list was nearly impossible. 



Monday, January 7, 2013

Feeling Good Monday Morning!


I had such a productive (and exhausting) weekend. 

First, I celebrated the week coming to a close by taking my 11-year-old son, Logan, to a movie.  I asked him what he wanted to see and he said "Lincoln".  This kid is so cool.  He loves reading and history and honestly, I have been so busy, I didn't even know it was out.  He said that it was nominated for 7 Golden Globes and that Daniel Day Lewis is getting great reviews....he did his homework.  He's so cute.  Anyway, we got something to eat at Chili's and then went to a 10:00 showing.  It really was good, but I know that he must have been confused during parts of it because it was all politics and a lot of talking.  He liked it though and asked questions when we left 1:00 in the morning.  The movie was long!  I was cold and curled up into a ball the whole time and wishing that the movie theatres had beds.  Although, that would be disgusting.  I wouldn’t want to sit on them.

We worked really hard on Saturday and Sunday.  We took plenty of breaks, but we wore ourselves out.  We switched his and the boys' bedrooms.  The little ones are getting the bigger room now that they are older.  I moved furniture, hung some pictures, organized closets and drawers, disassembled the bunk beds and reassembled them to stand on the ground, took down cribs, got stuff out of the attic, moved stuff up to the attic, took stuff to the garage and the car, went to Goodwill, cleaned the whole house and started stripping and painting my bathroom vanity.  (I just tested this.  I never finished.)  Basically, I shouldn't be able to move.  Thank goodness I work out because I really should be flat out on the floor. 

By the way, I have a new tool kit and everything I need is in it.  I don't know what any of the tools are called, except for the hammer, but I love it anyway!  I carried it around all weekend; it is one of my new favorite things.  It's purple and cute and opens like a doctor's bag.  My hands are sore from this one tool though.  It's shaped like an L and it gets screws out, but it isn't a screwdriver.  My phalanges are sore from using it so much.

Anyway, I am very busy lately at the house.  I have several projects I am working on.  I have a to-do list that will keep me busy for the next 20 years.

I know that I should be feeling more sore, especially since my back and hamstrings were already sore from my painful workout on Friday night, but I feel good!  I got up really early today and got some reading done, wrote in my journal, and ate a good breakfast.  I am good!  I hope you have a great Monday!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

The Real Reason Not to Break the Law

My sister has an airline voucher that she planned on using to visit me this month, but it isn't going to work out for her and rather than keeping it for herself, she suggested that I use it with her ID.  Before I tell you the reasons that I will not be doing this, especially now that I have published the idea online, I have to mention that we look alike and that we could totally get away with it.   I once told one of my friends that someone at a bar had asked us if we were sisters.  He replied "Did you ask him if he was retarded?"  So you get it.  We look alike.  Not only would using her ID work, but if I were going to steal someone's identity, I could totally steal my sister's.  I know everything about her and therefore could answer key questions quickly and without hesitation.

With that said, I will not be using this voucher for two reasons.

1.      If I got caught, I would be considered a terrorist under the Patriot Act and I would go to jail.  No one would feel sorry for me because they would consider me to be cheap and stupid for risking my freedom in order to save a couple hundred bucks.  In other words, there wouldn't be activists fighting the man on CNN.  Nope, not for me.  Everyone else bought their tickets and had to pay $25 per bag.  Why should I get a free trip?  No one would care.  I would rot in prison for being a terrorist. 
2.      If I did get through security, the plane would crash and everyone would think Ashli was dead.  Everyone would cry and blabber about losing her, when it was really my body at the bottom of Lake Michigan.  Then when the truth came out, everyone would have to then mourn me.  Then, it would become a national scandal and the airline would get sued and everyone would fight on CNN about beefing up security.  Then those who would oppose tighter security would fight back and call me an idiot for doing it in the first place.  I would go down in history as a cheap idiot who wouldn't spend $200 on her own airline ticket.  Not to mention, the only reason the plane would crash in the first place would be BECAUSE I lied, and therefore, all of the lives on the plane would be lost just because I had to save a couple hundred bucks. 

That's the way things unfold in my mind anyway. 

When I was nine I had a babysitter named Jennifer who told me to always wear cute underwear.  The reason being, when she was a little girl, she was struck by lightning while climbing a tree.  She had embarrassing red, white and blue underwear on....these underwear were all she could think about in the ambulance after they had cut her clothes off.   I've never forgotten that and I often think about that when I choose my negligee. 

It's like dying with a messy house.  Don't leave those dishes in the sink even once, because the one time you do, you may die and everyone will think you're a disgusting slob who lived in filth.

I prefer not to die known as a cheap idiot who lived in filth and wore hideous granny panties.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Flashback Friday-When I Grow Up



You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.  I hope some day you'll
join us and the world will be as one-John Lennon

I wanted to be a news anchor/field reporter, a writer, an actress and a musician when I grew up.  I never wanted to be anything that wasn't of the creative nature and my mother said that was just fine.  She always knew that I was never going to want to work for NASA or become a Math professor.  She saw what I loved and she threw me into things that would make me happy.  She signed me up for drama camps and lessons, I played violin for a large percentage of my life, I took dance lessons, she bought me books so that I could devour them one at a time....these are all things that I am thankful for.  She bought me journals and told me that I had a voice and that I should use it, and this was probably the most important thing that she did.  She's always known that I was a writer and that I wouldn't ever give it up because it’s like air to me.  I thank my mother for believing in me and never telling me to go after something that I didn't absolutely love. 

Here comes the inevitable "but".  But I have recently been very upset about the way the world works.  Money is the root of all evil, yet it makes the world go 'round, so therefore the world is evil?  If this were an Algebraic problem, it would look like this: X+Y=XY, right?  Well, I don't know if that's what it would look like because I hate math and I couldn't care less about making ideas and concepts look like numbers and formulas because it seems like a stupid and pointless thing to do in the first place.  And why do I hate math?  Because it's stale, it's boring, I’m bad at it, and it's the NUMBER ONE damn reason that I can't make decent money doing what I love.  Number crunching is always more important than eloquent speech and creative ideas in this world and I am sick about it. 

Let me ask a question.  What would the world look like without writers, actors, dancers, artists, and musicians?  What would the world look like without movies, plays, music, books....what would everyone do on a Saturday night?  Sit and look at each other?  What would everyone talk about?  Why don't we respect that some minds are creative and that they add color to the world?  Why are the Arts the first to go in schools?  Why are so many jobs becoming obsolete?  Why are writers paid even less than teachers?  And I am sorry, don't even get me started on how we treat teachers.  I am so angry about this.  Yes, I realize that this has been going on for years and that it's already been talked about, but sometimes I am reminded of how ridiculous it is and how much I despise money and the rich man who only cares about making a profit.

I have gone online to look for freelance work and there exist people who post the following: Will pay 25 cents for each blog, each blog should take about 30 minutes to write.  What crack were they smoking because I’m sure it was good, and WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?  Sickening.  Absolutely sickening to think that someone values writing so little when I have mounds of student loans to pay off.  If it’s so easy, why don’t they do it themselves?

I am not a socialist because I am not ready to give 60% of my earnings to the government, but I probably would if I knew that everyone were on board with it.  Bear with me.  Honestly, if we all chose what we love to do for a living, and if we could actually survive doing it, don't you think that it would all work out?  Doctors who go to school to be doctors because they love it, versus the money, are probably going to enjoy going to school and learning about the human body, just as I loved reading Greek plays and contemporary fiction.  I realize that we would have to work out the whole tuition thing and I realize that you are in school a long time to become a doctor, but if it were me, I would say “YAY!  I love school because I am learning about what I love!”  We could all afford to be happy and do what we love across the board, so why would it matter in the end?  I realize that I am an idealist, and a dreamer, and a silly heart sometimes.  But is this world better off without people who dream?  HELL NO! 

I am thankful for those who are awesome with numbers and science, and I am even more thankful for those types who dream.  Look at Steve Jobs.  That’s the perfect brain: creative and scientifically driven.  Science is the Universe's reminder that we CAN dream big, because it's even more mystical than we have ever imagined ourselves.  I am thankful for my dad, who can do my taxes and that I don't have to manage a national budget. I have an appreciation for all of us, and all of our gifts and talents, which is the reason I am writing this today. 

I played violin for a large portion of my life, I am a bookworm, and I chose Journalism and English for my degree, even though I knew I would probably always struggle keeping it from becoming a hobby.  When am I going to see that following your heart and your passion will pay off?  Is it true that if you follow what you love the money will follow?  Or is that just something that a rich person says when he's had good luck and a lot of people to help him make his fortune? 

I love that kid who is twiddling her thumbs in class, gazing out the window imagining what she would do if she could actually sit on a cloud.  That kid was me, and she's just as important in the world as the kid in the front, paying attention and answering all of the questions about cross multiplication.  Everyone needs a place in this world, even the artistic.

Check out this video and tell me that cutting out artistic programs is a good idea.  People have a yearning for the arts.  What about the kids who aren't good at number crunching and who don't give a crap about money and making a profit?  What are we telling them about their place in the world and about who they are?  The world would be colorless without these kids, so let's start appreciating them and let’s start compensating them when they grow up.  We should probably stop stealing their intellectual property as well.  That would be the respectful thing to do.  But let's not open THAT can of worms.  That's for another day.....

Watch this:


 http://youtu.be/2lXh2n0aPyw


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Top 10-Healthiest Resolutions

I looked up some New Year's Resolutions online, since I don't choose them for myself.  I think these are pretty good goals to set for yourself this year if you haven't already chosen one.


1. Lose weight

2. Get more sleep (I definitely need to fix this in my life.)

3. Travel (Uhhh I wish)

4. Eat a healthier diet (I'm seriously considering cutting out dairy altogether)

5. Quit smoking

6. Cut stress (the only thing I can do to improve this is to die. I already do everything I can. I have 4 kids. There's no way around it at this juncture in my life.)

7. Volunteer (I definitely think I need to do this)

8. Stay in touch

9. Cut back on alcohol

10. Go back to school

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year!



This is the best New Year's Eve movie scene ever....I mean, this is the best movie, like ever.


Harry Burns: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

http://youtu.be/QCqiHZdDnZI