The Real Reason Not to Break the Law

My sister has an airline voucher that she planned on using to visit me this month, but it isn't going to work out for her and rather than keeping it for herself, she suggested that I use it with her ID.  Before I tell you the reasons that I will not be doing this, especially now that I have published the idea online, I have to mention that we look alike and that we could totally get away with it.   I once told one of my friends that someone at a bar had asked us if we were sisters.  He replied "Did you ask him if he was retarded?"  So you get it.  We look alike.  Not only would using her ID work, but if I were going to steal someone's identity, I could totally steal my sister's.  I know everything about her and therefore could answer key questions quickly and without hesitation.

With that said, I will not be using this voucher for two reasons.

1.      If I got caught, I would be considered a terrorist under the Patriot Act and I would go to jail.  No one would feel sorry for me because they would consider me to be cheap and stupid for risking my freedom in order to save a couple hundred bucks.  In other words, there wouldn't be activists fighting the man on CNN.  Nope, not for me.  Everyone else bought their tickets and had to pay $25 per bag.  Why should I get a free trip?  No one would care.  I would rot in prison for being a terrorist. 

2.      If I did get through security, the plane would crash and everyone would think Ashli was dead.  Everyone would cry and blabber about losing her, when it was really my body at the bottom of Lake Michigan.  Then when the truth came out, everyone would have to then mourn me.  Then, it would become a national scandal and the airline would get sued and everyone would fight on CNN about beefing up security.  Then those who would oppose tighter security would fight back and call me an idiot for doing it in the first place.  I would go down in history as a cheap idiot who wouldn't spend $200 on her own airline ticket.  Not to mention, the only reason the plane would crash in the first place would be BECAUSE I lied, and therefore, all of the lives on the plane would be lost just because I had to save a couple hundred bucks. 

That's the way things unfold in my mind anyway. 

When I was nine I had a babysitter named Jennifer who told me to always wear cute underwear.  The reason being, when she was a little girl, she was struck by lightning while climbing a tree.  She had embarrassing red, white and blue underwear on....these underwear were all she could think about in the ambulance after they had cut her clothes off.   I've never forgotten that and I often think about that when I choose my negligee. 

It's like dying with a messy house.  Don't leave those dishes in the sink even once, because the one time you do, you may die and everyone will think you're a disgusting slob who lived in filth.

I prefer not to die known as a cheap idiot who lived in filth and wore hideous granny panties.