Best Movie and Worst Chicken Pot Pie

I watched “Swingers” again on Friday.  I started watching it while the boys were napping and then Logan walked in; he had just gotten off the bus.  I didn’t think that it was appropriate for him, so I turned it off.  I went to Birmingham shortly after Logan and Lindsey came home from school to pick Peyton up for the weekend.  I was tired when I got home, but I couldn’t sleep, so I turned it back on and finished watching it where I left off (like it was even necessary-I have seen it a million times).  It never gets old; it’s almost deranged how many times I can watch it.   Where are all of the good movies these days?  The writing in “Swingers” is, as Vince Vaughn always says, phenomenal.   I'm bored.  I want a good movie.  Where are they?

Super Fan #99

" You nasty little cute little BABY!" 

Ahhhhhh, good movie.  I live for good writing.  I love it.  This is random, but it popped in my head.  You know what one of my favorite things about Christmas is?  I get to answer the phone and say "Buddy the elf!  What's your favorite color?"  I am a five-year-old.  I love great lines. 

I was so angry last night.  I made Paula Deen's stupid Chicken Pot Pie.  First of all, it was called "Chicken Pot Pie in a Hurry" and it took forever to make.  The only way that you can make it in a hurry is if you are Paula Deen.  Not only did it take forever, but it didn't cook.  I checked the instructions three times and I know that I didn't make a mistake.  15 minutes AFTER the dumb thing was supposed to be ready and golden-brown, the chicken was still raw and it was white and doughy.  To top it off, she called for a whole stick of butter.  Well, the gluttonous and absurd amount of butter caused an overflow and the stuff began burning at the bottom of my oven.  Smoke was filling the kitchen and I was getting really angry.  I took the disastrous mess of crap out of the oven and microwaved it out of desperation.  When I opened the microwave the chicken squealed and popped and the juices landed on my hand and burned my thumb.  I have a blister.  I had to order pizza.  I ordered online and I was banging and typing so hard and fast that Don said “Do you want me to order it?”  I guess it was obvious that I was irritated.  What a waste of time and ingredients!  It's the first time that I have been disappointed with Paula Deen.  I don’t understand what happened!  We didn’t eat until like 10:00!  And now I have to clean my stinking oven!  RRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

Here's the Word of the Day:

quean \kween\, noun:

1. An overly forward, impudent woman; shrew; hussy.
2. A prostitute.
3. British Dialect. A girl or young woman, especially a robust one.

Go, Shorty! It's Your Birthday!

Happy Birthday, Dad!  I hope that you have a great day!  I'm sorry that I can't be with you, but if I were, I'd buy you a beer.  You have 5 children who can all buy beer now.  How old does that make you feel?  HAHA! 

I love you!

Love,

Britter Critter

Since I can't sing to you, I figured that The Beatles would do:

http://youtu.be/MjF1bG5LUcs

Thanks a Lot, GPB

Why is it that when I watch shows about outer space I actually get dumber?  I guess I don’t— I just realize how dumb I already am! 

Don and I were watching Georgia Public Broadcasting last night.  There’s a show called “Nova” and I am now dumber because of it.  When I watch these shows about space-time, time travel, and black holes I am happy that I have a TiVo because I always have to rewind it and listen to what they say like 5 times before I can actually understand it.  Then once I feel like I grasp the concept at the most minimal level they throw something else at me.  The episode that we were watching was about space.  Not outer space, but the space in between objects.  What is the space in between objects?  What is it made of?  They said that we don’t know what it is and it’s like 70% of the universe.  It would be like if we didn’t know what water was, because our planet is mostly water.  So I understood all of that and I understand that “empty space” isn’t nothing, it’s something.  Very interesting.  But then they started talking about how maybe everything we see is a 2-D image, or hologram, of what’s on the other side of a black hole or black matter or something.  WHAT????  Ok, so now I am going to have to watch shows about this crap like 20 more times to understand what just made me dumber.  All they do is confuse me. 

There was a section about Einstein and how he disproved Newton’s Law of Gravity……unreal.  Can you imagine being that smart?  Good thing that the guy wasn’t evil.  You could do a lot of bad things being as intelligent as he was. 

I can't believe that this is the Word of the Day.  I have no idea how these take on a life of their own.  I write the blog and then the word matches?????  Look at it:

prehensible \pri-HEN-suh-buhl\, adjective:

Able to be seized or grasped.

Driving Coolnesses

I was driving Lindsey to dance yesterday, flicked on my blinker, and suddenly remembered something from when I was in high school.  I am writing about it for no good reason—call it writer's block.  My friend Kellie and I once had a conversation about “driving coolnesses”, as we called them.  I discovered that she and I shared the same exact guidelines when it came to driving and not looking like a dork.  I should preface by saying that we weren’t so serious about this list that it’s all we thought about, but apparently, it was on our mind enough to probably distract us from other things that we should’ve been paying attention to on the road.   

The Rules

1.)  We never put our blinker on too soon because those who did appeared paranoid and dorky.  “Hello, everyone, I am turning in a mile!  Just thought I’d let you know so you don’t rear-end me!  I’m a huge dork and I wear white socks with dress shoes!”   

2.)  We didn't turn on our windshield wipers until there was pretty much a downpour because those who did looked paranoid and dorky. People who had them going full-speed for a drizzle were such nerds. "Ahhhh!  A raindrop just hit my windshield!  I can't see!  HELP!"  Ha ha. 

3.) We refused to turn on our headlights at night until it was totally dark because those who did looked paranoid and dorky.  People who turned them on at dusk looked like they were reading the DMV handbook AS THEY DROVE.  So uncool. 

Have I mentioned at any point since I began writing this blog last January that I received the “Worst Driver” superlative my senior year?  I assumed at the time that I got it because I had totaled my dad’s car by hitting a fence, rolling it four times, busting out the windows and caving in the roof.  I also remember being surprised that everyone thought of me as they voted a year later.  Now I realize that everyone voted for me not just because of that car accident, but because I really did suck at driving! In fact, I don’t think that I have ever deserved an award more than I deserved that one.  I was always dancing, singing, looking around, talking, running red lights and stop signs…..I was AWFUL!  And when I learned how to drive a stick shift?  I think everyone still has whiplash from that experience! 

One awesome thing about getting older is that you really do grow wiser and that you care less and less what people think.  I am not saying that I will ever wear white socks with dress shoes or start wearing suspenders, but the list of things that you care about gets shorter and you tend to get grow more intelligent.  I was the most immature driver on the face of the planet and I am lucky to be alive.  My dad didn’t allow me to get my driver’s license until I was 17 and I still failed the test the first time I took it.   Then once I had my license, I was an obnoxious airhead and didn’t know how to do more than one thing at a time.  Apparently, steering and pushing the brake were entirely too much for me to handle doing at one time.  As I write this, I can’t believe that Peyton will be legally allowed to drive me around in a year and a half!  He's more mature than I was and hopefully the other kids will be too.  I was just plain silly 95% of the time.

At 31, I still have a list of behaviors that I consider acceptable and not acceptable, and cool and uncool, but that’s healthy to a certain degree.  Yesterday at the gym I got a strong urge to start singing “Dazzey Dukes” as it blared from my iPod— especially the part that says “Miami, Alabama, Tennessee, New Jersey!  Boston!  Augusta!  At-lanta like them girls in the Dazzey Dukes.”  I refrained from doing so…..thankfully.  I am comfortable in my own skin but I draw the line at singing 90’s rap songs in public.  (By the way, don't you love how they had to change the spelling?  "Dazzey Dukes" ?  It wasn't ghetto enough!  So stupid.) 

 Here's the Word of the Day:

obscurantism \uhb-SKYOORr-uhn-tiz-uhm\, noun:

1. Opposition to the increase and spread of knowledge.
2. Deliberate obscurity or evasion of clarity.

Cheer Party

Last night we had our end of the year cheer party at Menchies—it’s a frozen yogurt place (in case you don’t have one where you live).  The girls and their parents gave us gift cards—so sweet and thoughtful.  It wasn’t easy coaching with two toddlers and it wasn’t easy for Melissa either because she is pregnant, but seeing that the girls had so much fun and learned so much made all of the work worth it.

The trainers awarded the girls with special megaphones; they were really cute.  The reason that they were special is that they each had a title under their name.  For example, we had a “Most Spirited”, a “Miss Congeniality”, a “Most Improved” award, etc.  Lindsey and Hannah (Melissa’s daughter and Lindsey’s best friend) got awards called “The Inseparables”.  This is the social, talkative, always goofing around together and attached-at-the-hip award.  Hannah and Lindsey were laughing and talking when they received it, so it totally fit.  Hannah and Lindsey are in like 5 out of 7 classes together at school.  When Melissa and I heard about this we freaked, but so far it’s been alright…..we warned the teachers about them.

Melissa and I talked to the trainers for a long time after the party had ended.  They told us what high school kids are doing right now to get into trouble and we told them to enjoy their youth.  We told them not to have serious boyfriends, but to enjoy the time they have with their girlfriends.  They were asking us for OUR crazy teenage stories.  We looked at each other, laughed and said “NOOOOOO way!”  It was hilarious.  They were really cute. 

I have considered teaching high school English many times, but for some reason I always talk myself out of it.  I worry that I wouldn’t be good with teenagers or that they would walk all over me or something.  But when I really listen to teenagers, I like them and I remember what it was like to be in that bizarre limbo when you aren’t yet an adult, but you aren’t a small child.  It is such a confusing and tough age.  There is so much pressure put on them, especially nowadays.  I look at them and see this sweetness, even when they aren’t acting sweet.  They are still kids and it makes me want to help them in some way.  Last night after I talked to the girls, I got an urge to teach yet again.  Maybe one day......

Here’s the Word of the Day:

metempirical \met-em-PIR-i-kuhl\, adjective:

1. Beyond or outside the field of experience.
2. Of or pertaining to metempirics.

Halloween Pictures

The kids were INSANE yesterday and that was before the Trick-or-Treating and candy-eating.  It was a crazy day as always, but fun and they all looked adorable.  For months, Logan was not planning on Trick-or-Treating.  Well, he changed his mind at the last minute but he wasn’t dressed up when I had to leave.  We wouldn’t let him go Trick-or-Treating without a costume because it’s cheating, so he stayed home with Don while I took the other kids to my friend’s house.  I got home last night and found him with a huge bag of candy.  He dressed up as a football player at the last minute and walked around in our neighborhood, but of course, I don’t have pictures of him.  Carson and Dylan loved Trick-or-Treating and they understood the concept.  They never said "Trick-or-Treat" but they did thank people sometimes. 

My dad sent me a text last night that said the following: 

"I hope you had a good Halloween.  We just passed out over 400 pieces of candy to some of the rudest B**T**Ds I have ever seen, but there were some polite ones.  I hope your candy search went well.  Love, Dad"

I thought that it was hilarious and had to share.  I'm definitely not trying to raise rude B**T**Ds, so I made sure to at least TELL them to say thank you to the people passing out candy.  That reminds me......last night when I was tucking the boys in they were being really crazy and not listening (I wonder why!) and they kept saying "I sorry, Mama."  Carson started it and then Dylan caught on and began saying it.  I have been trying to get them to apologize to each other when they get into fights for a long time, but all they would do is hug each other, which was good enough for me.  I'm really happy though because last night showed that they are catching on to the idea of an apology. 

Ok, pictures!

Dylan, Finley and Carson before we went to the gym yesterday

Valley Girl, Monkey or "Konkey" as Carson says, and a Monster

Carson the Konkey

Dylan the Monster

Excited....he's pointing at an airplane

AIRPLANE!

So cute.

Mama and Carson...By the way, I WAS a retro baseball player but threw on some jeans because my shorts were too short to walk around with little kids.  I had the knee high stripy socks and short 70's shorts thing going on-THAT'S why my hair is in braids and I am wearing a hat.

No nap and still so cute.....

Cheese!

On the way to Hannah's house

At Grammy's house

Lindsey, Julia and Hannah-80's girls

Lindsey found a frog. 

She's so pretty.  :)

Dylan.....very tired.

"Look, Mama!  Look at my candy!"

Dylan, holding Carson's basket too.

At Grammy's

Yay!  An unattended bowl of candy!

Lindsey, holding Hannah's neighbor, the princess

Hope you all have a great day!  I have to take Lindsey and Logan to school and get ready for Pilates.  I let them sleep in a little because we were up so late.

Happy Halloween!

Because I have been so sick lately, I didn't get to go out with my neighbor on Saturday night.  We were planning on dressing up as 70's roller girls.  Instead I stayed home and made brownies and cupcakes with the kids.  Here are some pictures of our delicious creations:

Graveyard Cupcakes

Frankenstein Brownies, decorated by Lindsey

I made "mummies" for breakfast Sunday morning, which were just lit'l smokies wrapped up in crescent rolls.  I used mustard for eyes; they were peeking out of the bread.  I can't find the picture that I took, but this is an example that I found on the Internet.  They looked exactly like this:

Mummies

I made sandwiches for lunch yesterday and cut them into the shape of ghosts.  I made tater tots and sweet potato fries and called them “witch ears and fingers”.  I didn’t take pictures because honestly, they sucked.  The sandwiches really didn’t look like ghosts; they just looked a little mangled.

For dinner we had “witch’s stew” with pumpkin-shaped cheese on top.  

Chili, I mean, Witch's Stew

My niece, Amélie, lives up north and I guess they Trick-or-Treat on the Sunday before Halloween.  My sister sent me this picture yesterday.  She is so stinking cute, I could eat her.  Lindsey was Dorothy when she was little and this picture reminds me of her.  Lindsey and Amie look a lot alike, but their personalities are very different.

Amelie as Dorothy

We are going to a friend’s house tonight and then going Trick-or-Treating.  I will take pictures of the kids and post them tomorrow!

Here's the Word of the Day: 

nyctophobia \nik-tuh-FOH-bee-uh\, noun:

An abnormal fear of night or darkness.