Squirrels, yoga pants, and schizophrenics

So I haven’t quite figured out when I’ll have the time to blog, but I named the blog “Haphazard Daily” with the intent on writing daily.  I hope that I do not fail miserably!  Thank you in advance to those of you who are reading!  Yesterday after going to Pilates and putting the babies down for their nap, I initiated this whole BLOG thing and if you could have seen the house after I finished it, oh Dear Lord.  It looked like a bomb had gone off.  Lindsey was feeding the babies BBQ chips in the living room, the babies had pulled all of the books off of the bookshelf, and no one couldn’t even get through the front door because there were so many bags and shoes blocking it.  But now I have it up and hopefully that won’t happen again.  My house can go from immaculate to a trash heap within hours.  And I don’t even discuss the laundry…..

I ordered two pairs of CAPRI yoga pants from Victoria’s Secret and I was so excited to get them yesterday.  I put the SMALLS on and the CAPRIS were down to my ankles.  Now if you’re a dude reading this, capris are supposed to fall at mid-calf.  Well, I was just crushed.  Not only am I short, but my dreams of becoming a Victoria’s Secret model are now over!

I was discussing my ideas for my blog with my mom and I was telling her about the name and about how I want it to be about anything and everything-random, just like me.  She was telling me about her trip back home yesterday and it brought up a pretty funny and random story.  First of all, I should say that she started out in LA and had a layover in Atlanta before flying to Milwaukee.  Does that seem a little backwards to you?  So needless to say, she was irritated anyway.  But then she had to listen to this conversation behind her.  This woman said that she had gotten pregnant against her husband’s wishes and she was so scared to tell him about it, but that it was the best thing she’d ever done because her son was so cute.  Seriously, this is the type of thing that makes men think that we are all crazy, manipulative beotches. But I’ve gotten off track.  Here I go with the random story.   She said that there was this strange woman sitting across from her, she was dressed weird and talking to herself.  Not only was she talking to herself, but she was answering back.  I told my mom that I have so much empathy for schizophrenics, but I am also terrified of them.  I have had more run-ins with them than any normal human being, and they always seem to hate me-including the lady at Starbucks when I was at Georgia State.  She banged on the glass and screamed at me with such hatred and proceeded to find a campus cop and told on me for something.  He laughed about it, but the Starbucks employees were so alarmed that they offered to walk me to class!  Not only am I terrified of them, I was so happy when I turned 25 because I knew that my chances of becoming one were slim to none.  I thought “Yes!  My insurance rates AND my chances of becoming a schizophrenic just went down!” I told my mother all of this and she said that when I was a little girl there was this lady who stood outside of the post office and asked to see our passports.  Every time.  Finally, my mom would have to say “Kids, show her your passports.”  I would look up at her with confusion and then pull my pretend passport out of my pocket, my hand shaking with fear.  Thanks, Mom.  Thanks for that.  That must be why I hate going to the post office as well.

To wrap it up, Last night I watched “Going the Distance” which was cute, but not for little ones' eyes and ears.  Then I went to bed and tossed and turned because I could hear the damn squirrel galloping across the attic and hiding nuts in the insulation.  We have to get some cage for it and drop it off 30 miles away or he’ll find his way back.  Is it a rodent or a nuclear engineer scratching around up there?  I need navigation to find my way home 30 miles away!  Anyway, Carson and Dylan woke up five or six times last night and Carson threw a fit about having a cookie for breakfast this morning.  And I realize there’s never a dull moment in my life.  Life is good.  Have a great day!