Why do weird things always happen to me? If you know me well or talk to me once a week, I guarantee that I always have something to say that requires a response “Only you, Brittany.” I remember one morning in college I was sitting outside eating cereal out of a sandwich bag, it was Life. This pigeon was right by my feet begging for food. I gave it some Life and after a few pieces the bird started to act really strange. Strange being that the damn bird puffed up into a ball and started to make weird noises. Its feathers were standing straight out and looked like it was going to pop! Have you seen “Shrek”? You remember when Princess Fiona sang and the bird exploded? It looked similar to that. I ran to class assuming that I was a bird killer.
Yesterday I was heading downtown to take Carson to the doctor and I had to stop for gas. I got out and put the pump into the gas thingy, swiped my card, and got back in the car to wait because it was windy and cold. I heard the pump stop; I got out and looked at how much the gas ended up costing…..$54. I reached for the pump, took it out and it started to spray gas like a water gun! When I say that it was spraying, it was shooting across the pavement like an UZI. The lady on the other side of the pump was like “Oh my gosh!” and she was screaming. I was screaming too, getting gas on my shoe and my jeans. The button was stuck, so when I pushed it a couple of times I got it to stop spraying. Just so you know how long it was stuck, I paid for $5 of gas, which is now on the pavement. I went to the clerk and told him what happened and he said that I trapped air in the pump and I pulled it out too fast. Well, in all of my years pumping gas I have never heard of that happening. I was praying all day that no one would light a match near me for fear that I might go up in flames. The worst thing is that I had to make several stops until I could get home, smelling like gasoline! I was trying to wipe it up with baby wipes and using my perfume to cover up the stench, but that seemed to make it worse.
I guess I can be thankful for these odd tendencies, for they give me something to write about on a seemingly mundane day.
Do you remember when I drove away with the gas hose still in my tank?
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