What My 20-Something Self Should've Known

Me, 21 and Clueless

There are a lot of things I would tell my younger self....like "He's a douche bag, don't date him" or "Don't download Timehop because the even younger you said some really awful things..." but believe it or not, there are even more important lessons that I would share with not only the younger me, but every 20-something gal I know.  The thing that sucks about taking advice, I will be honest, is that while you are taking the advice of one person, you inevitably learn a different lesson because you went through something else and what I have learned is that because of this, it doesn't matter the road you take, it's what you learned by the end of the path.  This brings me to my first lesson....

• Don't ever think you have arrived.  As soon as you think you have it figured out, or you are "there" or you're settled, life throws something new at you.  Don't assume that "Once you finish school" or "Once you get married" or "Once you have a baby" that you'll become settled completely.  Yes, you will find yourself settled in one area while becoming antsy in another.  Things don't ever slow down, you just learn how to handle it a lot better.  You don't stop the flow, you learn to go with it.  A lotus flower is a beautiful flower that grows in murky water.  Despite its surroundings, it still flourishes.  I think that is a very beautiful way to live your life. 
• Take care of your body. I know everyone tells you this, but trust me...your 30-something-year-old ass will thank you. Squat.  Eat clean foods.  Start eye cream early.  Don't lay in the sun.  Seriously.  No, looks aren't everything, but your health is.  
• The only opinions you should care about are the ones of the people you respect.  If you are a person who cares a lot what people think in your 20's, there is a good chance that you might not in your 30's.  I have seen a lot of people start living for themselves and less for other people and society once they're in their 30's.  It's liberating.  
• Build yourself first.  If you don't build yourself and know who you are, you are going to look in the mirror in your thirties and say "This isn't what I wanted" and everything will fall apart and you'll have to rebuild.  You will keep going through the same thing over and over until you learn the lesson and the wonderful thing about life is that if you are open and willing to accept the lessons from bad experiences, you will grow and change.  Even the worst situation has something to offer you.  
• Forget the "Should do's" and "Supposed to's".  No, you aren't supposed to rob a bank, but are you really "supposed" to get married when everyone else is, or have babies, or graduate?  I did everything completely backwards and what I found when comparing my backward-ass self to my friends who did everything perfectly is that we all have the same mindset now.  Just because society tells you that you should do something doesn't mean it's right for you.  Follow your heart because even if you are wrong or you fail, at least you'll be able to live with yourself. 
• Never grow up completely.  Life is really short, and even though you "know" that in your head, a lot of people forget to feel it in their heart and live it.  Be silly.  
• Choose a life mate wisely.  If something doesn't feel right, get out.  Don't do it.  Runaway Bride Style, if that's what it takes.  
• Choose your friends wisely.  They are the family you choose. You want to be around people who are going to make you great.  
• Let go when it's time to let go.  Sometimes there is another plan and you have to surrender to that.  Let it happen and don't meddle so much in your own life.  Watch for signs, listen to your heart and let things pan out.  Don't get too attached to your plan because God might have another for you. 
• Hold on to what's important.  It's easy to get lost in life when you are building it and then you look up and you realize you were not focused on the right things.  A good example, there are a lot of young brides who focus on the wedding and not the relationship.  They fight about trivial things and then they wake up and realize that they missed their own wedding.  When I was a very young mom, I was so structured, I feel like I missed a lot.  The second set of twins, I vowed (and stuck to it) to enjoy every moment because I was wise enough to realize that this too shall pass. 
• Change is okay.  Change can be scary, but it is also a gift.  The older you get, you realize that failure is ok.  I know that everyone says this, but it is true....you only regret what you didn't try.  This is TRUTH.