Monday, March 30, 2015

Before You Leave That Relationship......

I am in my 30’s and at this age, there are A LOT of married people, both men and women, who tell me that they are miserable and want out of their marriages.    I really try to stay neutral and listen most of the time.  By no means do I support divorce frivolously, but I also don’t disregard or judge those who are unhappy.  I try to tell people what it is like on the other side and what you should prepare for since people typically tend to think that their issues will all go away if they get divorced.  Some do, sometimes it is worth it, but new issues also pop up and those are the things I try to inform people about.  Divorce is not something to take lightly and it should be a last resort.  Sometimes, yes, divorce is necessary and the situation is bad.  And then other times, I think people are just bored and thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. 

My advice is really very simple and I am sorry that I have to be so curt.  #sorrynotsorry

To the women: Be prepared to be ALONE and do it ON YOUR OWN, or don’t do it.  Don’t expect to find a perfect guy who will fix your issues and don’t let that be your plan; that is a recipe for disaster.  Look at being single as a growing experience for yourself because if you are expecting Prince Charming to come along, you will more than likely be disappointed.  Also, be prepared, you will be attacked by an enormous amount of penis that you more than likely won’t be interested in.  And then when you are semi-interested, you weigh your interest against other factors—STD’s, liars, cheaters, Commitment-phobes and Stage 5 Clingers.   When you weigh these factors against your love for Netflix and your comforter, that’s when you go home alone.  I assure you, I am only happy and enjoying my life as a single person because I am alone.  I am not saying it’s impossible to find the right person, but you’d better have yourself straight first so you know what you want and don’t repeat mistakes and fall into bad situations.  Also, real heartbreak comes in the form of seriously and truly loving someone for all the right reasons.  And then guess what!  That sucks too!  Why?  Because even that has its problems.  Bottom line, learn to be happy with yourself.  If not, you will more than likely wind up miserable.  One more thing….if you are one of these married women complaining about your fat, bald husband who bores the shit out of you, well, just a tip….single men are also often bald and fat.  

To the men: True story: I was out and a married man was hitting on me.  After I was a bitch to him because I am not a home wrecker, I was nicer and thought I would help the guy out….I told him to go pay attention to his wife because he will not be getting laid on the reg like he is imagining.  Another guy wanted advice and I gave it again.  It was the last time I heard from him about the issue because I was too honest….I said “Look, you are middle aged.  You have a lot of baggage.  You aren’t 20 years old anymore and you are not going to be slappin’ ass every weekend like you think you are.”  Guys, all I am saying is that you might want to consider the fact that your wife has been picking up your socks and washing your underwear for 15 years.  You might not be as awesome as you think.  I am always a little skeptical when a man says his wife is such a bitch and he was perfect….right.  I always wonder what his wife would say.

A note for both sexes: Some of you are crazy, so you should take into consideration that you have already found someone who puts up with you.  Don’t assume there are tons of fish in the sea that will tolerate your excessive gas and messiness and weird idiosyncrasies that may drive someone else nuts.  My point is, consider the fact that someone else loves you and you might not be so perfect.

Love is a gift, not an obligation. 



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