If
there were a rehabilitation center for Podcast lovers, I would definitely be a
candidate. I am completely and
shamelessly addicted to them, especially NPR’s TED Radio Hour. My poor kids beg
for music in the car, but I am relentless and voracious for the information
that waits for me on the other end of that beautiful, purple app on my phone. I
understand them being bored by NPR and I feel better by telling myself that
because my kids are passively hearing this information, one day when they are
in class learning about Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, it will sound familiar
to them and therefore I am doing them a favor.
However, yesterday one of my 7-year-olds asked me on the way to school
what a Nazi is and I realized that it might be a little much for 7:30 in the
morning on the way to 2nd grade.
Whoops.
Yesterday
I listened to a TED from the archives called “Shifting Time.” It re-aired on August 5th and I
can say that as interesting as it was, I am relieved that I did not listen to
it on that day because August 5th happens to be my birthday and I
would have thought too much about aging and would have upset myself. Of course, it is highly stupid to be upset
about how old you are because we are always aging. We are aging right now, with every second—while
you sit and read this and while I sat here and typed this. Aging never ends and a birthday only serves
as a reminder that 365 more days have passed and marks the fact that maybe you
have a new ailment since last year and have learned a new lesson, or maybe that you didn’t. We all know this, but we
still can’t wrap our minds around our relationship with time, which is what the
podcast is sort of about.
I
won’t tell you everything about it, but to sum it up, it answers the following
questions: How can time be so predictable and yet become so different depending
on where and who you are? Why is summer so long to a child but it flies for an
adult? Is what we think of as time even
real? When did time begin? What IS time?
Cesar
Kuriyama had an animation background and began working on an app called 1
Second. The concept of the app is to
film one second a day, every day for a year, and by doing this, time somehow
seems to slow down. By watching a video of a second filmed every day, you can
SEE time passing, as opposed to say looking at a picture of your first day of
school next to a picture of your last day of school. You can SEE where you have been. Kuriyama says his understanding of time
becomes far more finite than it’s ever been after watching his video at the end
of the year. This sounded mesmerizing to
me—so mesmerizing that I spent $4.99 on the app. I am still learning how to use it.
My
first clip is of Dylan sitting at the counter eating cereal this morning. He flips the calendar that hangs on the wall to
his left from August to September and shouts “It’s September 1st!” I packed up our things and got ready to make
the drive to school. We saw a beautiful
sunrise on the way and I thought it would have been a nice clip. Then Dylan asks an intelligent question about
the sun rising. I think to myself that I
would like to remember that forever; maybe that should have been my clip. We see a Remax hot air balloon and Dylan
shrieks because he is so excited, something he won’t do at 15. Then I pull up to the school and he gets out
of the car; I tell him I
love
him and he waves with one hand and the other is on the door. He says in a sweet voice “Bye” and closes it. I would
have loved that to be on tape too, even if it looks the same every morning.
He is getting taller and his voice will change eventually and maybe he
won’t stay as long at the door one day, adoring his mother, because his friends
will be watching.
I
thought about how all of these moments are immediately into the past, tiny and
meaningful, and how the moments are adding up to days and those days are adding
up to months and the months are rolling into years. I suddenly felt like calling my grandma. I told my grandma that she has always been right. Time flies.
I know I can’t slow it down, but I am appreciating and respecting it and
I have recently made HUGE changes in order to do so. I asked her how she and my grandpa are doing.
She told me she is doing well and that I won’t really be old until 87, which is
how old she is, and that I should write everything down so I can remember
things when I am her age. I walked up to
the gym feeling very happy that I had used my 15 spare minutes to call my
grandma in Indiana. It is 900 seconds,
after all.
I
think what I find most surprising about being conscious about these seconds in
my day (and just the ones before lunch) is how many amazing moments my life is
made up of, every single day. I
immediately want to thank God for every day that I am alive. Everything I do seems so small in the grand
scheme of things and when you feel that way, I think it’s very easy to lose
sight of the importance of what you
are doing day to day. In reality, the
big picture really is made up of all of the days you live and all of the little
things you do from moment to moment, day to day, month to month, year to year…and
they matter. Not every second is
detrimental, but some seconds are. Not
every second is beautiful, maybe instead they suck and they exist as tiny
slivers of what will become a larger lesson.
Some seconds are with us always, and some will evaporate because they
are insignificant to us. Never
underestimate the power or length of a second because it is the present.
I am
learning over time that all big goals and big dreams are actually very organic
and feel very small. Everything we
decide to do, everything huge that we want to accomplish or experience, can’t
come into fruition without tiny little movements. Are we using our very little free time
wisely? Are we positive or negative? Are
we in control of our emotions and our thoughts or are we overrun by
negativity? Are we using crutches that
enable us? Are we concentrating on the
bad things that happen in the day rather than focusing on each marvelous
second? Because all of the things I just
mentioned are daily activities that paint a larger picture, mood, habit, and
attitude. Maybe if we all had this app, a year in our life might look different
just from being present in the moments we are in. Maybe by actively seeking and then
recognizing the moments to capture and document, we could see just how many
things are worthy of remembering and worthy of attention. For 5 bucks, I am going to find out.
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| This was from a second in my life last night. He has been read to since he was a baby and maybe all of those seconds that he was read to led to him picking up a book on his own and reading in bed while I did the dishes...... |
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