The Red Pill

We all know the scene in The Matrix when Keanu Reeves stops the bullet.  It’s straight up magical, right?  He puts his hand up, the bullets stop where they are at his command, and he takes the one closest to his face into his fingers and examines it. In that moment, the rest of the bullets fall to the ground.  And that’s that.  He had the power all along….he just had to realize it. 

We have to learn to see bullets for what they are and realize that we have the power to look at everything differently, like Keanu did.  And while robots aren’t harvesting us (I mean, I hope they aren't) we are fed some pretty thick negativity over the years that have unhealthy impacts on our minds and bodies and souls. 

First of all, I believe in God and because I do, I will state for the record that I believe that my strength and gifts and blessings only exist because of God.  That being said, I have learned that the only way I can hear God is when I am quiet and still.  I can only feel my heart and hear my mind when I tell all of the chatter and nagging to leave me alone.  I cannot hear anything that God or my soul is telling me when there is too much noise around me.  So having said that and making clear that I am not responsible for this peace, but God is, I can move on….

The picture above is a quote that hangs on the wall of my yoga studio. It says “To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.”  Why does it surrender when your mind is still and what does that mean? When your mind is still, you hear and see everything and you realize that all of the negativity that you have experienced and have been fed is only an illusion and that you are capable of and deserve so much more.  Why would the universe trust someone running around like a crazy person, messing things up and banging away at the world, not knowing how to sit still and listen?  Would you waste your energy trying to talk to a person like that?  No, you wouldn’t.  When someone runs around nervous and yelling and stressed, you know that’s not the right time to approach the person with anything logical.  You should always wait until they are breathing and still and open.

The reason I brought up The Matrix is because I used it as an example in a conversation I was having with someone about how I feel right now in my life.  I have learned, for the most part, to quiet my mind to the point that the bullets are no longer real to me, they are no longer a threat, and they no longer have power over me.  When you take away power from all things negative, you are finally at peace and it’s your choice.  The bullets flying at us are all of those distractions and negative thoughts and negative comments and roadblocks and fears and people who tell you that you can’t do something and cause discomfort to your mind and your heart.  If you can put your hand up, grab the first one, and drop it, all the rest fall to the ground.  Every bullet becomes empty and meaningless.  

It’s been about 16 years since The Matrix was released.  I remember thinking what everyone else was thinking when it came out—that it was a badass movie, but in a way, the whole idea of it scared me. The fact that certain information can be both given to us and withheld and that we might not know the difference was terrifying to me. I thought “Why would you not want to take the red pill if you can control your own mind and know the truth? “ I would much rather take the red pill and know the truth and eat slop than live in a fantasy and take the blue one.

Here is what taking the red pill looks like in my analogy:  

There’s the world throwing stuff at us, and then there is the trouble we make for ourselves.  Things happen to us over time: we get hurt, our hearts break, we become distrusting, we become angry, we become ashamed and feel lonely and confused, and then we start to make rules for ourselves to protect us from repetitive pain, which only builds walls around us, furthering the process of imprisoning our minds. You have to shake all of that off to become who you’re supposed to be and see the truth. 

I have learned that if you don’t want to hear something negative, you don’t have to listen.  If you don’t want to engage with someone negative, you don’t have to engage with them.  You teach people how to treat you and while there is absolutely no way that you can control anyone else’s behavior, you do have control of your own behavior and your own mind.  I have learned to shut off the noise when I can’t hear my own internal compass.  You can't let everything in and you have to be choosy about the sounds and people you let into your little world.  

Everything extra is just noise, just a bullet, so become still so the universe opens up and you can be who you really are.  

Go Fund Jen

Our friend, Jen....she's one of the most upbeat, artistic, lovers of life. She's funny, smiling constantly, and she makes my newsfeed worth the scroll. She's just one of those awesome people that don't come around often.  Jen was just in a terrible car accident two days ago and has suffered a broken jaw, neck and collarbone. She was very lucky, but she has a lot of healing ahead of her and the last thing she needs to do is have to worry about anything else. 

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Don't Panic

There is a really good article in Men’s Health this month called “The Case for Vacationing Dangerously” by Mark Jenkins.  Jenkins, a lifelong adventurer shares 7 crucial lessons he’s learned over the course of his life and poses the question “When did men become domesticated animals?”  His number one tip is to get off your ass and leave town, live a little.

Unlike the author, I have never been in Tajikistan, been around guns, or had men screaming at me in a foreign language, OHHHH and I am a girl…..but nevertheless, I think he suggests some great tips for being a bad ass when you could just panic.  The way you handle yourself and make decisions when you are under pressure is the difference between being a survivor and victim and I am always in awe of anyone who is capable staying cool.  I also think you can apply to these tips to life in general.  You don’t have to be in severe danger to freak out and lose it, whether you have a flat tire on the side of the road or you’re about to speak publicly. 

Here they are:

1.     Don’t let fear speak for you. The author talks about how one of the men who was with them in Tajikistan did something stupid because he was scared.  He sent out an SOS text message on his satellite phone with the lat/lon coordinates of the military base, which made the group all look like spies when they weren’t.  Scared people do stupid things.  Instead of reacting from the emotion that consumes you, you have to breathe and tell the emotion to take a hike for the meantime.  You can deal with it later.  I think that people who react the best under stress seem to be able to channel their adrenaline better than someone who lets it consume them.  Adrenaline is there for a reason; you just can’t drown in it and lose your mind.  People who are panicking can’t be trusted to make decisions.  There is a reason we all remember the man on Flight 93 who said “Let’s Roll.”  No, he didn’t want to die, but he calmed down and was capable of seeing the big picture and rose to the occasion.  He didn’t think about himself and his anxiety, he overcame it.  I can only hope that if I find myself in a dangerous situation, I will be that person.  

2.     Patience Isn’t Just a Virtue; It’s Your Passport.  In order to stay cool, you have to be patient.  When a person becomes impatient, they lose control of their logic and allow emotion to take over.  If you expect everything to go your way and become angry when it doesn’t, all you do is become flustered because you expected some other outcome.   Have something to keep you busy, but keep your cool.

3.     Survivors Bend So They Don’t Have to Break. Peter Suedfeld, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia, says that other than sheer will,  “a foremost trait of a survivor is intellectual flexibility.”  They improvise, they are adaptable, and when one thing doesn’t work, they try another.

4.     Danger is Temporary. This is true.  Think of any situation you have been in or have witnessed…no matter how horrible it is or how you feel, it does have an end.  Dr. Suedfeld says that being an optimist consists of 4 elements:

·      Recognizing that the situation or circumstances are temporary.  My friend, Kellie, was lost in Atlanta traffic a few years back and I told her “Don’t worry, Kellie.  You’re still on Planet Earth.”  I don’t know if it helped, in fact, I think she laughed at me, but she can’t deny that I do have a knack for being eternally optimistic and when I am not, I depend on my friends who can remind me to be more positive.

·      Distinguishing between real and perceived threats. Jenkins uses the example “you’re being held, not tortured.”

·      Recognizing that just because you haven’t found a solution, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t one.  Don’t give up.  Keep being creative, keep your will, and the solution will present itself.

·      Believing that you have some control over the situation. Jenkins says that his best friend and traveling buddy used to say, “Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it!  Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

5.     Play the Game of Options. Literally play the game of options.  Go through your mind and list the ways you can get out of something.  You can get as comical as you want. 

6.     Breathe. Suedfeld says the final trait of a survivor is being able to tolerate bizarre circumstances.  If you can do this, then you are pretty much prepared for anything. I like to apply Occam’s Razor to most situations, but this doesn’t mean that I don’t expect the “illogical” or “bizarre.”  As long as I am prepared for a bizarre situation, I can tell myself to attempt to apply logic later.  I believe that even chaos has a reason for existing, so therefore, why wouldn’t I be prepared to handle it? You have to be creative enough to accept that anything is possible.  If you can do this, you panic less because you have already accepted the fact that it has happened.  At that point, all you have to do is run through your mind and figure out how to deal with it.  Also, “Fight or Flight” is there to save you, so the first thing you have to do according to Dr. Seudfeld is to stop moving.  Force yourself to stop and breathe consciously.  Exhale completely, then inhale and hold the breath for a count of three.  Take 15 of these and it will bring your heart rate down and disperse the adrenaline rush.  Dr. Reid Wilson, Ph.D., director of the Anxiety Disorders Treatment Center in Chapel Hill, says that panic is like getting lost in your mind.  You have to find your mind first before you find yourself out of the woods. 

7.     Danger Can Be Funny. Never lose the ability to laugh.  This is why I laugh about my house catching on fire…yes, I woke up to a fire, but I also ran out of my house and banged on my neighbor’s door in my underwear.  How often do I run around outside in my underwear?